"Holiday" with toddlers

[RaisingFlames]

I've just returned from a week in the sun with DH and our 2 DS (3 & 2). I honestly feel more burnt out now than I did before we went. My mental health is genuinely in tatters, I'm so stressed out!

Maybe it's an age and stage thing as we've been away before and it was fine, but this time.... Constant moaning/tantrums, neither one listening to a word we said, took an hour to get out the door most days, fought sleep like it was the enemy. DH and I had no downtime at all and we were both tired and grumpy the whole time.

AIBU to think that holidays aren't worth the expense with such young kids?

We didn’t bother with holidays until ours got to 4 & 5, as it was easier to be at home to be honest. No trip with toddlers is a “holiday” more a test of endurance! 😂

I loved our holidays with DC when they were young. We always chose a small hotel where the DC could nap in our room and we could still sit out. We had a room level with the pool and could still close by. We went out and had an early supper with them. Ordered their main course to come with our starters and then they usually had pudding whilst we ate our main course. Then back to the hotel and bed for them and we then enjoyed the evening sitting on our terrace reading, card games, glass of wine etc

Keeping a reasonable routine for them and not trying to keep them up too late worked well for us.

I think it’s about expectations and finding what suits you . I had 3 under 5, at that age self catering worked best, get up when you want, no rushing to get to breakfast. All they wanted was a bucket and spade and some sand really. We usually booked somewhere with a pool , hours of entertainment, and whoever needed a nap could have one while the others played. Even me , on a lounger with a book by the pool ! A change of scenery and some sun . When they got a bit older we used to take one of their friends as well, my middle one is disabled and my youngest loved having a friend to play with. Happy memories

Interesting to hear other peoples preferences and how they differ.

We've done a lot of caravan and lodge holidays in the UK (Scotland & England) and have always had a great time. Sometimes Grandparents have come along and other times it's just been the 4 of us.

We've always holidayed a lot and want to continue doing so. This was our 3rd time abroad with the DC and, to be fair, it's the first time we've found it such hard work. We've done both AI family aparthotel and self catering AirBnB apartments and I think hotels are the way forward for us for the next couple of years.

Despite sticking to our routine re naps, mealtimes and bedtime, and planning our days around the kids, it was still hell.

Had to fight the 3 year old to get suncream on him EVERY TIME.

Had to wrestle the 2 year to change his nappy, EVERY TIME.

3 year old had daily tantrums about the smallest things, like which way we walked to the park/shops.

They fought with us, they fought with each other, they had a meltdown when we wouldn't let them have ice cream and chocolate for breakfast, they wanted to sleep in the same bed but wouldn't stop messing about so we separated them and they had a tantrum about that... It was relentless. The apartment had a private pool which wasn't gated so we obviously had to watch them constantly around that. We could barely sit down as we were forever dragging them away from the edge.

It was probably just the wrong set up for us this time. We're away abroad again later in the year, but this time it's with the wider family so should be MUCH more enjoyable as we'll get a break.

I was feeling frazzled and overwhelmed when we got back yesterday. Feeling slightly better today after a decent nights sleep in my own bed.

@NoCloudsAllowed Well, he's never actually chosen chips for every dinner as we generally go to Italy so he's also has pasta and pizza 😂 I was just saying I wouldn't stop him if that's what he wanted so true I don't know what would happen. Plus he always has his usual breakfast and a sandwich for lunch on holiday so the rest of his diet isn't altered from what we eat at home.

@Rainyspringflowers I do have a pretty easy pre-schooler to be honest. He's a good traveller and doesn't tantrum (he strops instead which is much easier to handle). Expecting number two any day now so it's likely they'll be the difficult one as I don't think lightning strikes twice! 😂

@RaisingFlames I have found the easiest suncream is boots soltan 8 hour roll on. Then the 3 hour water cream one for the pool. It's still a bit of a challenge (DS2 also not a fan) but it's less issues as doesn't need reapplying as much. Also a factor 50 swim suit which is full arms and legs!

We have definitely found AI is the way for us for the next few years and also avoid Spain/Spanish Islands as dinner is later and my 2 can't cope. Found Greece to be the ideal in time difference and meal times.
We also book holidays which have creche options to get a bit of downtime for DH and I. They are only in 3 times in the week but it makes a huge difference!

I found a decent way to hide from my family, I've dropped them all off at the holiday flat and driven off to charge the car for tomorrow's long drive home!

Currently sat alone in the car munching haribos, if I could have a glass of wine, I would! 🤣

Absolutely, it can be same shit with a different backdrop at that age. We had a couple of crap holidays!
Our most relaxing holidays with young kids were Center Parcs and Bluestone, with playgrounds and pools and bike riding on tap.
Also 2 Neilson's holidays which would be far too expensive now they're all at school but we stretched to it before school when we could go off peak. Kids clubs and activities all included so we had a real break and went sailing etc. while the kids were having a ball.
It gets much easier in a few years though, don't worry. Mine are now 11, 9 and 4, we've had trips to Lapland, Disneyland and the Welsh mountains recently and I genuinely look forward to holidays now.