"Holiday" with toddlers

[RaisingFlames]

I've just returned from a week in the sun with DH and our 2 DS (3 & 2). I honestly feel more burnt out now than I did before we went. My mental health is genuinely in tatters, I'm so stressed out!

Maybe it's an age and stage thing as we've been away before and it was fine, but this time.... Constant moaning/tantrums, neither one listening to a word we said, took an hour to get out the door most days, fought sleep like it was the enemy. DH and I had no downtime at all and we were both tired and grumpy the whole time.

AIBU to think that holidays aren't worth the expense with such young kids?

We did Eurocamp when ours were small. We kept them in their normal routine in terms of mealtimes and bedtimes and then once they were in bed we lit up the bbq and opened a bottle of wine while they slept. During the day we combined short bursts of sightseeing with visits to beaches and playing on the campsite (stacking cups and a washing up bowl filled with water provided hours of entertainment).

It's all the same shit, but in a different place without all your home comforts. I hated taking my daughter away when she was a toddler.. Far more stressful than a few days out here and there (which were usually free because she was under 3)

2 and 3?! Jeez OP, heart of a lion to attempt a week in the sun. Or a trip to Tesco, frankly.

We have a two year gap, we went away for the first time last year at 5 and 3. It was great - hard work but great. I wouldn't have attempted it before that tbh regardless of covid etc. Both of mine really like their routines and struggle with sleeping elsewhere which of course makes everything more difficult.

As others have said, CP is super easy, we're doing that again this year but more for other reasons - if we didn't have an ill family member and were happy to fly we'd be going away again.

@lpylou the reason you've attracted comments is that a single 18mo is a massively different prospect to OP's 2 and 3yo. Heck, even one 2 OR 3 yo in many ways. Listing the things you did that helped is somewhere between incredibly naive and borderline insulting. For one thing, OP's children are likely past naps so that break is gone, and two children of that age near water needs two adults, so they can't tag in and out either. There's no downtime when parenting two of that age unless they're at nursery!

You may well succeed with your plan to go travelling, but a 2.5 yo and a 6mo is also a very very different prospect to one 18mo so don't put too much pressure on yourselves, see how you go.

We went abroad 2 years ago when DDs were 5 and 1, we did find it hard work! Well the first few days esp, we got settled into it more then. Our fave time was getting them in bed and opening wine on the balcony I must admit 😂

We're going abroad this year but at 7 and 3 hoping it'll be easier, they play well together now and we've booked a resort with play areas in a lot of the bars/restaurants so that should keep them occupied. I also take a selection of little cheap toys, books, games that I collect a few months before to bring out tactically. They both have tablets too of course!!

We only do 2.5 hr flights max tho!
Have done UK hols - caravan, lodges, CP etc, but do miss not going abroad. Hoping to book Disneyland Paris for next year.

And a tough day on hol in the sun still beats a day at work, nursery and school pick/up drop off, cleaning and cooking!

It depends how you define a holiday.

We are city breakers and still go abroad to new cities with our pre-schooler.

We relax at home. Our holidays are about exploring and adventure and eating great food. If we don't come back exhausted something has gone horribly wrong 😂

Yes everything is at a slower pace with our son, we can't go to cocktail bars and we have to factor in some child friendly activities (museums he'd enjoy or a beach day etc) but we're still abroad in the sunshine together doing things we enjoy and that's a holiday to us!

@Upinthenightagain it's very protected on a ship.

They scan them in and out of kids clubs.

And if they were to somehow make a dash for it they are contained.

It's also 1:1 or 1:2 for the little ones so a lot of eyes on them.

I remember feeling apprehensive for the first session, then after witnessing the security and the staff ratio I completely relaxed.

You give a location on the ship and if your child is upset they get you.

@MumsnetHQ why did you delete my post with no explanation?
If it was because of the @lpylou / @tobeconfused Name change fail then that's their problem.

Anyway as I was saying... come back to us @lpylou (or @tobeconfused as it seems you're posting from multiple accounts) when you've got a 2yr old and a 6 month old. We'll be all ears 😬

I saw your post before it was deleted @MissAtomicBomb1 , I was surprised, I don't remember anything crazy in it.

No such thing as a holiday with toddlers, it's the same old shit but in a different place!

My best holiday when my kids were that age was staying at my in laws caravan on a camp site about an hour away from our house.

had never experienced this before and tbh was a bit snobby about it, but only went because it was free and I had run out of excuses.

it was genuinely restful. I remember sitting outside the caravan with a glass of wine watching my kids play with other kids from the campsite thinking ‘I am actually relaxed! I can’t believe it.’

love those caravan holidays now!

I think outdoor holidays can work well if you get the weather. Your taking them out to play in potentially nicer and more interesting locations and it can tire them out nicely.

Same.

I don’t think the poster meant any harm but when someone casually says their toddler naps in a pushchair then you know their child is a tad laid back!

Hotels and kids club is one thing but you still have to deal issues with hotel food or paying for restaurant food that they don't really eat, them not really wanting to sit still if food takes a while to come, and lots of other peoples' DC twirling about! Planes and toddlers is something I gave up on quite quickly. I went self catering uk after DC1. I worked too hard for it all to be organised - they ate well at least but it all felt like a huge planning project and we had many rainy days and hauling things around to the beach - along with no toilets at the more remote beaches we preferred. I missed something I realise but I look back at those holidays and slightly shudder which I realise is a bit sad. I've missed the joy somehow.

@lilyathena On holiday we let our son (3) eat whatever he wants. If that's a plate of chips for every dinner, so what? He's happy and a week of chip dinners isn't going to hurt him.

It depends. A lot of the problem is people te d to let routines go out the window. If you still put them to bed at 7pm, give them their nap (if they have one) and you don't expect to sit quietly by the pool then it can be lovely.

We replicate being at home. It means we are in by 5:30 at night for food, bath bed at 7 but they eat and sleep as usual. Our normal is for them to be out walking with us, swimming, bit of free play.

I always had one specific goal that I would enjoy on holiday and focused on that.

So not expecting enjoyment for an entire week, but I'd look forward to a particular food or place. Eating a croissant from a French bakery, visiting a particular landmark etc.

I think it also helps to do lots of planning so if need be you can rustle up a day trip/rainy day activity fast. I also used to stock up on charity shop toys, books, puzzles etc and sticker books. Can be a sanity saver.

No long term harm no @TheBirdintheCave but tummy ache, constipation, grouchiness? Yep

Mine would get constipated 💩 so it would hurt them in a roundabout way.

It probably sounds overly controlling but I wouldn’t like that (it’s not a criticism of your choices so please don’t take it as such) but personally I find a big deviation from the norm with food or sleep or whatever leads to some really poor behaviour usually cumulating in a massive tantrum / meltdown over something small.

A day is fine but a week would definitely not be fine.

Eurocamp holidays are the best option for that age, safe pools, outdoor play areas, bike hire on site, kids club on site and quiet time at bedtimes. I had 3 kids under 5 and I would never have tried anywhere but eurocamp. We went back to the same one in Spain for years same animation team each year and they all got to know the kids and remembered them each year it was lovely

Yanbu, the very reason why we waited until DC2 had turned 4 before we spent >£3k on a family holiday. After taking dc1 on hols age two and chasing them round the perimeter of the pool all day and not getting a minutes peace I learnt my lesson. Age 4 they can go in kids club for an hour or two so you get a Break

I definitely agree with other posters that UK holidays are harder work and work out more expensive unless we go camping.

Our camping trips are never chilled we are constantly juggling and the kids never go to sleep at their usual bedtime. We still do it but limit to 4 nights max.

We live in Scotland the weather is very variable and both my children hate the beach or swimming in the sea so there goes that free activity.

Definitely agree with PP who says the more kids travel the easier it gets. Both DSs have travelled from babies a plane is pretty straight forward they both enjoy it (2 and 5).

Agreed, until you’ve lived a newborn and toddler full time it’s hard to imagine! @Ipylou, if you think about everything required to look after a 6 month old for 24 hours, possibly multiple night wakes and feeds, settling for naps multiple times are day and trying to keep asleep, changing, feeding, winding, weaning, preparing food and clearing it up, playing etc etc, then add this in to every day of your last holiday you mentioned and throw in a toddler to mix it up a bit and that’s the level of stress we’re talking about!!! Yes, there are many wonderful things about having x2 with a small gap but it can’t be compared to the effort required with x1, (and being pregnant too, I always found people were very nice to me and you got more breaks!)

Couldn’t agree more. I always struggled more on UK holidays as had to find entertainment for rainy days and entertain them in a small airbnb without toys.

Plus I end up spending ££ on indoor pools, soft plays, more toys, Sealife etc when abroad we can go to a playground or the beach.