To think it’s not ‘cruel’ to take DD to the gym at 7.30am

[Eastie77Returns]

I attend an early gym class every Saturday morning. I leave the house around 7am.

I leave DS and DD at home with DP. He takes DS to football practice around 9am and DD tags along but she has become increasingly unhappy about having to go. I therefore gave her 2 other choices: come to the gym with with me or stay at home alone for 10/15 minutes as I’m home from the gym by 9.15-am latest. This morning I asked her what she wanted to do (I gave her the options earlier in the week so she had time to consider). She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her. I explained that I was not prepared to miss my class and in the end she decided to come with me. As we were leaving DP began muttering that’s it’s unfair and cruel to drag her to a gym at the crack of dawn when Saturday morning should be her down time.

If it makes any difference, it’s a David Lloyd gym. DD is a member and she enjoyed a breakfast in the restaurant area and read a book while I did my class. She played with another girl in the play area and the two of them have signed up for a taster kids class so she was fine. But I’ve now received a text from my dad saying he’s heard (obviously from DP) from that “poor DD is being dragged to a gym on Saturdays” so she can stay with him on Friday evenings if she prefers. Obviously I would be expected to drop off and pick her up. I said no.

AIBU to think this is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing?

Because I've had kids! I used to be an 11yr old. Saturdays and Sundays are for chilling and sleep ins. Unless of course a parent had to work and childcare is needed. Not a class.

It’s outrageous that your DP is so unhelpful, making it your problem to fix, when he could fix it by driving to football.
How old is your son? I can’t imagine him always tolerating early starts and long bus trips just because your DP doesn’t like driving.

I think you're setting a fantastic example to your daughter. 7.30am isn't early and if you don't do these things first thing then life just gets in the way...& you're much more likely to be tired in the evening.

Your DH sounds like a knob (sorry but he does!). He should be lifting you up and supporting you. Not criticising you. Your Dad can shut up too. Honestly, it's absolutely shocking the things that people (women) are saying here...prioritising their kids meaning they don't do anything for themselves? Even if it means poorer health and wellbeing? A useful excuse I think. Come on people, let's create healthier and more resilient children by setting a great example...stop making children weaker by pandering to them. It doesn't help them in life to be scared and anxious of everything.

And DL is lovely. V safe and she's a lucky girl. Sounds like she had a much better time and being there has created a new friendship and more opportunities for her. More than by staying in bed FFS.

Yep, except it is the martyr mummies on the case.

I couldn’t martyr myself like some of the posters on here!

Sometimes, just sometimes, it not ALL about the kids!

As you were OP. Keep at the class and hopefully It’ll all ease up over the next few months.

@Janiie

so all this exercise you say you do…when do you do it Saturdays and Sundays are for lie ins and chilling?

My DS had a paper round at 13, up 6 days a week just before 7. He got up on Sundays as well because he knew it was healthier to keep the same bedtime and rising time every day as far as possible.
Not saying your kid has to do that, but be aware that people are different and that it's ok for people to have different priorities to you.

I know right!

it’s so sad to read so much internalised misogyny on here

Out of curiosity, why were these posts deleted?

Is it for the genuine question as to whether a poster is a 'troll', or by asking if, alternatively, they are simply 'obtuse'?

Do you happen to know what the 'kill word' is?

This is so sad you choose a stupid gym class over your time with your daughter - there are so many things you can do together, including physical activities. You never know what the life holds for your daughter - like none of us do, so why not ask her what she wants to do and do it? You showed her your gym is more important than her. She already has to vie for the attention of her parents, sharing this attention with her brother and now this. It would be good if she finds, in the future, a person for whom she will be the most important person in the world (well, at least more important than the gym) as she clearly does not have it in her family. I had to prioritise work over my dc when they were young, but that was work.

Troll hunting is against the guidelines, posts get deleted for breaking them. I guess the kill word is just that someone reported that post to bring it to mumsnets attention

@Janiie

exactly!

and when you say weekends are for sleep and chilling…you do realise that OP’s daughter isn’t actually doing the class right?

You are silly

It sounds to me like DD is asleep in bed while this class is going on.

Did you never go out and leave your children ever? That's sound like a difficult situation for you.

Why do people keep insisting that the child needs or wants a lie-in? The OP (the only person on the thread who actually knows the child in question) has said her DD often chooses to get up extremely early at weekends to bake. Not all children want to spend the morning in bed. Though if the OP's DD does want to do that, she has that option as well.

@LLMn

why is the gym class stupid?

you do know that exercise is essential for physical health and mental health? Op has to prioritise that for her daughters sake as well as her own as presumably daughter benefits from a fit and well mum

Not sure why a PP commented she is nobody’s priority. DD does drama, swimming and football each week.

I would have guessed that was the case. "Nobody's priority", honestly! I'm guessing that gym class is one of the very few times in the week that OP prioritises herself over her kids' activities.

If you're always putting yourself last as a mother, you're not actually modelling healthy parenting or healthy relationships to your kids.

Bravo!

I regularly leave my 11 yo at home for more than 15 minutes so can’t see the issue

What I don’t understand is leaving the house at 7.30 and returning at 9.15 - so nearly 2 hours out the house- for a 45 minute class. Is the gym miles away? Is there not something closer? For your sake as well as DD’s. Or do you shower there, in which case, can you shower at home?

Honestly I think wedding vows should include "and in the event of jointly acquiring property and small humans all sole responsibility and fault will be yours Jayne Smith"

OP I am completely in your corner.

Your daughter needs to pull her big girl pants up, make some toast and put the TV on. By the time she's done that, you'll be home. Or she can get a garden chair and wait at the end of the drive for you 😂

Enjoy your Saturday mornings OP and tell them all to sod off!

@LLMn

and what if the daughter wants to lay in bed and eat crisps? Should op just do it?

You never know what life holds for yourself, either, so best to do the odd gym class rather than dropping dead from a heart attack and leaving your kids without a Mum.

Bravo and thank you!

So much internalised misogyny on this thread. Quite depressing.

Though it is heartening to see that many people support the OP.

Very impressive 🙄