AIBU to think that all the recent threads about benefits are heading too far towards online bullying?

[LeopardsRockingham]

The way disabled people are being treated and spoken about on here in recent days is disgusting. It is verging on online hate crimes and if ithey were about other marginalised groups would not have been allowed to stand by MNHQ.

The disinformation, the sneering, the complete lack of compassion from so many Mumsnetters is vile.

Disability for the very most part isn't something that people bring onto themselves. Parents don't do anything but have different luck to you and have a disabled child.

My genetics are different to yours so I have a fucked up immune system and the host of problems that has given me.

My DH had a horrific upbringing which has led him to have MH problems- he works by the way. I did too for a long time until my body couldn't cope.

My DC was injured at birth due to a hospital fault.

My neighbour fell off his bike and has a traumatic brain injury.

My friend has breast cancer.

My cousin is dead at 38 due to epilepsy.

My nephew is so unhappy due to his ADHD bot letting him fit in at school and my sister is having trouble helping him through it due to hers.

Why are we so unworthy to you?

Are we not due the same courtesy of online treatment as those of different races and religion...or does that go out the window as you pay for us?

@MNHQ why is it acceptable for you to allow your users to bully the marginalised on this site?

My son has a disability from birth, in the last 4 years I developed a health condition down below that makes it not possible to work I’m also a single parent one disabled son and one daughter, I care for my son as much as I can but I can barely look after my self but I have no choice to look and be a carer to my son! In mind I can barely walk most days

The next post was pretty much exactly what I meant.

I just can't write on the Internet....unless I'm Laurence Fox or some other like minded twat.
All black people are lazy and just sit around getting stoned all day
(NOT MY BELIEF AT ALL)

And when someone like @XenoBitch comes on to give reasons why this may be the case, generational trauma, poverty, pain relief, mood stabilers.....alcoholism being a disease. Then that answer isn't appropriate it's all well "I'm not paying my money for scum like that"

So if ita not appropriate to say it about a race/religion/a.n. other group.....why is it OK to say about disabled people.

And saying ohhh all the ones I know like from my estate or my mums, friends aunts uncle Bob is absolutely ignorant and has been explained over and over and yet MN still just let it stand.

Disability benefits are HARD to get.
ESA is HARD to get
PIP is HARD to get....you can still work
DLA is hard to get

Many people who get these benefits need them to live a basic life, mine go on my mortgage payment on a house I can't sell as I'm in negative equity and it was bought when I had a great job. So we could go bankrupt or keep on trucking.

Every penny of my sons DLA is spent on continence products. The amount the state provide are not enough and if we didn't buy more he'd be in hospital constantly or dead from infection.

But people make up their fairytale beliefs and come on and belittle an entire section of society and we are just meant to lie down and let you.

No

Addiction is more complex than a lifestyle choice.

Quite true and good luck to them if they could get a mortgage and take advantage of that.

That was directed at me!
Their comment was removed, but it was vile.

Lots of this comes down to poor policy. We need investment in healthcare and mental health services so people can actually be well enough to work. Waiting lists for treatment that are years long don’t help. We need businesses to pay wages that mean their employees don’t need benefits. We need a massive expansion of social housing so the housing benefit bill isn’t massively inflated by sky high private rental costs. We can choose not to have these things (how society is structured and funded is a choice, we vote for a government that makes these decisions), but the result is many more people that need benefits. Leaving people completely destitute (although that does happen, due to sanctions etc), is not particularly politically palatable, so that’s not an option even the current government can stomach. We can’t have both a lack of funding in social infrastructure, and a reduction in benefits that are necessarily due to that lack.

I wasn’t referring to addiction. I was talking about people who make a conscious decision to not work and claim benefits instead.

Have a look at what a single adult with no kids or disabilities gets in UC each month.
Do you think that pittance is a lifestyle choice?

You CANNOT make a conscious decision not to work and claim benefits instead. That is a myth. Do you understand how difficult it is to prove you are unfit for work nowadays?

I can assure you, having worked in a public sector role for many years it’s quite possible.

+1 But this is rarely acknowledged. Nobody wants to discuss the fact that resources are scare and it means having tough conversations.

Like everything in society, it's those who abuse who give a bad name for the genuine. I have people close to me who absolutely need the help and struggle every day with pain, not being able to do anything and I'm so glad they have financial and mental support. On the other hand I know some who completely exaggerate, lie and know how to play the system to avoid working and use their benefits to emulate the Kardashians, so sad I know. Impossible to check upon every claimant and when this does happen they have claimed mental issues but told me afterwards they knew what to say, will kick off and be defensive to prove it.

Hardly a life of luxury is it. Not one many would ever choose.

People need to check their fucking privilege

Also @YoureALizardHarry11 your points about drugs and alcohol were spot on.

I help people to fill out benefit forms and l cannot see how anyone is fooling the system to get free money. There are too many barriers needed. Namely evidence from medical and social services, which have been harder for people to get since covid.

I'm sorry @HappyGoLucky96 that's kind of what life is like round here too. It's shit but you pull it off somehow.

I dont know why I started another thread. I just can't quite believe there is so much hatred here and so much blindness that can't quite get through to a massive group that THIS COULD BE YOUR LIFE

What does a tough conversation mean? "Sorry Mary, you have to be less disabled so we can give you less in PIP"...

Yanbu OP.

I still haven't forgotten the "expensive holding pen" remark about disabled children in special schools that a certain user made a few months ago.

Mn has a serious issue with ableism that it refuses to address and tbf, the UK has an issue with it yet to be addressed too.

A thousand percent agree OP, as a disabled person myself. Certain members of MNHQ seem to not care less about ableism as well. I'm new to Mumsnet but already I'm noticing who responds to reports and who makes excuses (email reply). We (disabled people) take SO much shit and false presumptions daily and we come here for light relief and to help people, not get further bullied.

Compassion fatigue.

Covid wore the fuck out of that for most.

The Kardashians are worth $2 billion, so I call bullshit.
No one on benefits is emulating them.

People are also perfectly entitled to express their opinion on this subject on an open forum. It’s obviously a divisive issue that needs to be talked about. It’s nothing to do with “fucking privilege”.

Being able bodied is temporary.

If that's as far as your imagination can stretch you have bigger problems than Mary.

I really don't understand why people are so fixated on the 'workshy wasters playing the system' rather than wondering what the hell has gone wrong in our country that we have so many people who are too ill to work and therefore need benefits, so many people suffering trauma and that resulting in MH issues and/or addiction that means working is not viable, so many people needing levels of support that aren't there that means they can't work.

There will always be a proportion of any society that is, and we should care for them collectively - there for the grace of God etc.
But there are now so many people that it's becoming unsustainable and I understand that, but the root causes are not going to change by shouting at them, or denying they exist and just telling people they're fine so get on with it because if they're not they're just lazy and choosing an easy lifestyle.

I mean the NHS is a sinking ship - who would have thought that the decline of the organisation that looks after the nations health would have a negative effect on the health of the nation?! Novel idea that 🙄.

And I've said this on another thread too, but people want others out at work so they don't have to 'pay for them' but is society actually accepting of that in practice? When recieving a service from someone who might take a bit longer or behave a bit differently because of a disability or MH issue are they willing to make those adjustments? Or do they want them out at work, just not affecting them personally?
Businesses can make all the reasonable adjustments that they can but ultimately if people using the services aren't willing to accept those reasonable adjustments as customers/clients etc then it's just not going to work is it?

It's everything to do with privilege if your opinion is based on the outside looking in.

As hard as it is to accept, yes, for some people it is.