To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

[Kevsap]

My friend has been gifted 100k in the last two years. Eight years prior to that she was given 15k. Every few months/ a year she has around 1k gifted. I consider her to be from a wealthy family and I don’t know anyone else who has this sort of money given to them? Are people just not saying it? I will literally never receive sums like this unless I won the lottery!! My friend seems to think this is pretty average.

Oh I'd say MOST people we know receive a lump or two like that at some point.
We never have and there's none on the cards for us at any point unfortunately!
We know many people who have been given £100k because dad sold the business, or £50k because granny died, or £80k because you may as well have it now rather than later.
My ex was one of 4 boys and each was given £100k towards their first home.
Such is life I guess 🙈 I'm very bitter and very jealous and not afraid to admit it.

I see your point that's it's maybe not as uncommon as some people might think, but the majority of people aren't keeping hush hush about this totally normal and common thing so the bottom 1% don't get jelly.

I’ve had this a few times, but I’ve never discussed it with anyone. Why would you? People would quite reasonably think it was in poor taste and wonder what you hoped to achieve by sharing it.

My parents gave us £100k to pay off our mortgage and give me £6k a year, plus paying DS school fees.
I don’t talk about it!

@LoobyDop, When I was buying a flat, it cost 190K and my gf and I needed 38K deposit. I had saved up and my parents added thousands then meant we had enough. That place is now worth 550K.
I think the point is that it is not people being failures or others being special when they do these things. Increasingly labour is cheap and people relying on selling their labour will lose out.

I think in a lot of cases it's obvious from lifestyle that people must be getting extra financial help - and the most likely source is parents/grandparents.

People being able to afford to buy large houses or things like private education despite modest salaries (or even one parent not working) usually are a big give away.

I’ll a couple of £100k from inheritance from parents/inlaws, but that (hopefully) won’t be for many many years ahead. I’ve never been gifted anything other than £5k for my wedding from my dad.

I think it’s more common than people realise. (Not me - poor family and I’m the poorest in my friendship group) but I have friends/family who plead poverty or will talk about how hard they’ve worked to buy a big house etc without mentioning they’ve benefited from large sums of money via inheritance or the death of a spouse. It’s their business though and I can understand why they don’t talk about it more openly.

£1.5 k a year is loose change compared to the ambition dampening amounts people are referring to though

I've never had a penny from my parents (the golden children who are my brothers have had money thrown at them) and I won't get anything once they go (I'm nc)

My lovely inlaws bought us a house and since we lost darling fil,my mil sends us £2.5k every year to lower her tax bill and because she can

Dp will inherit the lot when she goes (that will be the worst day of our lives,we dont want her money,we'd rather have her) as his sister died 20 years ago so he's now an only child

We are unbelievably grateful to her

My parents gifted a large contribution to me and my sibling when we purchased our first property. We are Asian background where perhaps it’s more common? My parents wanted to see us benefit from it. I think it’s not so rare in London where even with a high combined salary, you need generational wealth to get on the property ladder (contributions vary). I don’t speak about it in real life but it is fairly obvious because we live in a nice area in London and I have told some close friends it’s partly due to family help (luck). We both have professional jobs but would not be able to afford the property we have without the help.

I plan to pass it down to my daughter but won’t tell her ahead of time. If you’re raising child(ren) in London, I think it’s nice if finances allow to think about helping your children onto the property
ladder, otherwise they may be priced out of London.

I share a business building with a solicitors office. One of the girls told me recently that every single young person (without exception) this year, who has been in for conveyancing, has had help from the. All of mum and dad, or grandparents. My parents have 'helped me out' over the years, as have some friends' parents. None of our families are what I would consider rich, (all non-privately educated), the common denominator was we just had dads with good jobs, who had also inherited moderate sums and invested. My greatest pleasure in life is to pay for things for my (now adult) kids so I hope to carry on the family ways but I'm not personally wealthy and live a simple life out of choice.

I've had some, the biggest being £25k, £20k and £10k, but all were for a reason (e.g. car, house deposit). I've had a few gifts of £5k and under but didn't consider that to be out of the ordinary as it was mainly small inheritances, one from a very distant relative. They aren't gifted regularly, just here and there. There's every chance it will never happen again which is fine, it's never been expected.
DP and I will inherit large sums in future, however it will be when our parents pass away so we are really hoping it isn't for a very long time.

No not really, my grandmother is 93 and very well off, she recently told me she has “an awful lot of money accumulating” and she didn’t know what to do with it all. She didn’t offer any of it to me despite me being a single parent struggling on a low income so who knows what she intends to do to solve her ‘problem’!

I would feel very uncomfortable accepting a large amount of money from anyone, even a family member. My mum likes to give me £20 for ‘petrol’ when I go to visit her which I do accept as I know it makes her happy!

It is eye opening some of the sums that are not considered large but would be life changing to many.

I think that in some families it happens that the parents are in a good financial position. They have some money to spare so they can afford to help their adult kids.
One of my friends was given a deposit for her 1st home over 20 years ago but she had savings and a good job herself. Having this house give her options down the line.
Another couple I know got a large lump sum to enable them to move into forever family home. In effect one set of parents give them their inheritance early so the could do this.

I think that people need to be aware that their friends parents might not be in the same financial position. The person who tells everyone I just bought a house but forget to say I got x amount from my parents to do this. Meanwhile there friends are struggling and finding it hard to listen to this.

If you are getting or have gotten some financial help in the past I would be careful to who you tell. Some people will just be jealous of this fact. Then some people will gossip about you and the fact that you can afford more than you did in the past.

I think that in some families it happens that the parents are in a good financial position. They have some money to spare so they can afford to help their adult kids.
One of my friends was given a deposit for her 1st home over 20 years ago but she had savings and a good job herself. Having this house give her options down the line.
Another couple I know got a large lump sum to enable them to move into forever family home. In effect one set of parents give them their inheritance early so the could do this.

I think that people need to be aware that their friends parents might not be in the same financial position. The person who tells everyone I just bought a house but forget to say I got x amount from my parents to do this. Meanwhile there friends are struggling and finding it hard to listen to this.

If you are getting or have gotten some financial help in the past I would be careful to who you tell. Some people will just be jealous of this fact. Then some people will gossip about you and the fact that you can afford more than you did in the past.

So... I've had a fascinating instruction (for me) in the advantage of class/generational wealth. Through my parents luck and skills and my education I've been propelled into the professional middle classes. So most of my peers have had dobs of money (aunts, unless grandparents wills, parents gifting etc). Because in their families most people over several generations were asset owners (houses, investments, pensions).
In mine and my DH's family grandparents had shit all. Council housing + state pension. His parents split so although they were house owners divorce left neither with spare cash (mum sadly passed, dad alive and remarried).
Friends talk about paying off mortgages, buying flash campervans and deposits for their kids and owning rental properties as though it's all normal/common. Which I guess in the securely middle class it is. They are in similarly paid professional roles/levels to us, so it's not through income. Many will openly mention the gifts/inheritance as it's 'normal'. I've massively benefitted from my parents success but it pales into insignicance against wider family intergenerational wealth.

Are you not coming back, OP? Is this to balance out the slagging off of those in receipt of benefits on the other threads, provoking a few "omg it's just so galling how haaard we have to work only for other people to have parents who give them everything" comments?

Maybe your grandmother wanted to give you money but didn’t want to cause offence by implying you needed help? So made out she didn’t know what to do with her money. In your position I’d have said “well grandma I’ll happily take some off your hands if you’re really struggling!” in a lighthearted way.

Pretty normal , obviously it's all about IHT

I was gifted around £50k for a house deposit by parents. On two occasions I was also gifted large sums of money (around £40k and £30k) by parents after they were left inheritance as they are mortgage free and had no use for the money so passed it straight to their children. In recent years my mum has developed a habit of giving gifts of £1-2k at birthdays and Christmas. I’m aware this isn’t necessarilly ‘normal’ but don’t think it’s wildly unusual, I don’t shout about the money I’ve been given but most of the friends I’ve mentioned it to have been gifted similar amounts when buying a house or after family members died etc. Friend’s parents are mostly middle aged baby boomers like mine, no generational wealth in my family but my parents have done well in terms of pensions, value of house/ mortgage etc and have managed to build significant savings but without having expensive tastes or things they want to spend it on which is I think why they gift it to their children now!

I think being gifted regularly like that is quite rare, although I know some help their kids out with a downpayment. Most people would pass on assets at their death if they have any.

I shared an office with a girl who came from a very wealthy family . . . her grandparents had a Kensington flat, a castle in Scotland and an estate in a Commonwealth country. She received an enormous cheque from them as a wedding present and would regularly get given large sums of money for no reason at all. She gave up work two or three years after completing her degree to "look after her dogs".

It was a bizarre situation sharing an office with her as she used to talk about her family/wealth as if it was all completely normal. Two of the other ladies who shared the same office were single parents, living in rented accommodation and really struggling financially