To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

[Kevsap]

My friend has been gifted 100k in the last two years. Eight years prior to that she was given 15k. Every few months/ a year she has around 1k gifted. I consider her to be from a wealthy family and I don’t know anyone else who has this sort of money given to them? Are people just not saying it? I will literally never receive sums like this unless I won the lottery!! My friend seems to think this is pretty average.

No, the correct saying is- The LOVE of money is the root of all evil!

I've been fortunate enough to always earn well so was confused for years by friends who earned average sort of salaries (teachers for example) and yet seemed to have much more disposable income than me. Then one mentioned going out with her Dad at the weekend to choose her new car and how, whilst he usually got her a new one every 3 years, she wasn't sure if he would that year as "of course" he'd just paid for their new bathroom and the extended family holiday they were going on that year was costing more than usual as it was his 60th. This led to others saying about what their parents bought them or the monthly allowance they got and I just say there trying to keep my jaw off the floor. These were all women in their 30s who were married with children. None of them come from trust fund type backgrounds.

I know two people who have gotten fairly big inheritances from relatives- one went from poor to extremely comfortable but still regularly cries over it because she was really close to the relative and didn’t know they were well off

It's certainly not average, but it's probably more common than you think.

My grandfather grew up extremely poor and then made good money in his career, but he and my grandmother always lived below their means. These are people who would pack us all ham and cheese sandwiches to eat at road stops during long drives rather than spend extra money on fast food. It meant that come retirement they could plan for their own needs and with a sizeable (not eye wattering) amount left over. Instead of just waiting until he died, my grandfather chose to gift what he wouldn't need in his life to his children and grandchildren over the course of about a decade, when we grandchildren were in the thick of buying homes, establishing businesses, and raising families, and thus could really make use of those funds.

I have other close friends whose middle-class parents downsized homes later in life and gifted some of the proceeds to their children to use for downpayments on their own homes.

None of us is blabbing about it all over the place, though we'll talk about the help amongst close friends.

I don't think it's that common, but likewise I doubt the people receiving this shout about it.

I’ve had 100k from a parent plus smaller sums at different points (15k for wedding, 35k when parent came into some money they didn’t need). I’ve never told anybody about it apart from DH. I recognise how lucky we are.

So does she have 2 siblings? I have not RTFT aside from the initial posts. However, while I cannot comment on the lumpsums, my father has £3k to give away tax free a year (if he dies within 7 years it may not be tax free), but as I have 1 sibling he gives us £1.5k a year as a way of potentially avoiding inheritance tax on that money. I am very grateful for the money and time will tell about inheritance tax, but that is not his problem!

My parents gave us £80K when we bought a house. They have given us 10K another time and smaller amounts like £1K for birthdays etc. Two months ago my mum sent me £5K when I mentioned the cost of living was getting me down. They have a lot of disposable income and my mum keeps saying it is for you to enjoy so no point not giving it to you when you need it. They live abroad so not affected by inheritance tax.

No! Not a penny but my parents gave me love and a spirit of adventure.

A few thousand would have been nice on top though 😉

I have never been gifted that much however I did get £35k from my parents towards a house deposit and when my dad was working he would occasionally give us a few hundred from his bonus. I get £1200 from my grandad every April which is the most you can give to a grandchild in a year to be exempt from inheritance tax so that’s sort of just an early inheritance really to make sure we get some. My uncle gave me £1000 for my 18th birthday.

So not those large sums but I am not unused to being given money and I don’t find it unusual that she is. I’m actually reasonably open about the money I am given - not in a showing off way (I hope!) but if conversations about money come up I don’t hide it - I think it’s important not to perpetuate the feelings that other people have around eg., being a failure for not buying a home by pretending I have done everything by myself.

I am now at a stage where I am trying to gift money to my nieces and nephews for school trips etc to try and pay it forward

When you say 'gifted', do you mean that her parents give her regular financial support, is it due to an inheritance, or just random gifts from different people? And how old is the friend?

Because you’re not going to be one of the people it happens to?

It’s common in our circle, but our parents aren’t wealthy so has never been on the cards (in fact the opposite - we treat them to holidays, meals etc.). We have done well in our careers but it does stick in the throat sometimes that something we graft for for years (home improvements or a special holiday) is simply funded by friends’ parents as a matter of course.

What I do notice is that it seems to reduce ambition- what motivation is there to push yourself and innovate when you know you can have the lifestyle you want funded by mum and dad?

My dad occasionally gives us or the Grand kids £500 as he says his pension and private pension is too much ! this might happen once every couple of years though. I think a lot of older people do this for their kids. Never had large amounts though. My friend also had in-laws that were also giving them money regularly although I think they were getting rid of money to keep under benefit thresholds.

@Sillybillypoopoomummy that’s not quite right. Your £1.5k is within the threshold where there is no inheritance tax payable. Anything over £3k in gifts per year is taxable so you’re in the clear 🤗

I don't talk about this in real life but my Mum gives me £5k each year, and buys me a new car every few years.

Plus my DHs parents gave him £500k about 20 years ago, and he inherited £1.5m when they died.

It means that we have a much nicer house in a much nicer area than we would otherwise, I can afford to work part-time and we both have hobbies that are relatively expensive to do.

It's lovely and I definitely know how lucky we are!

I can’t edit my post but I want to clarify about the £1200 from my grandad. It is strictly speaking from both my grandparents so they get a gift allowance of £3k each = £6k. Divide that by 5 grandchildren = £1200

ok ouch - in reponse to BananaPeanutToast... I have been the recipent of the 1.5k from my dad every year out of the goodnessof his heart since Dm died. Does that cause lack of ambition, does it bollocks. I am an Oxbridge Prof and that is down to my hardwork.

#awkward 😬

Thank you DevilsKitchen - good to know!

Alright sweetheart. I’m talking about the 50-100k a year my friends are given, not £1200. Sensitive much?

well details matter :-)

I was responding to devilskitchen 🤷‍♀️

Maybe your friend thinks it's normal, for her.

I know one person who receives gifts of money, from their relative.

My oldest friend often gives gifts of money to their relatives.

Both givers and recipients are from relatively working class/lower middle class backgrounds. Both givers are very wealthy. One has told me they do it to avoid future inheritance tax.

I make no comment here on if this is justifiable.

Nothing from family although we have bought a small flat which we rent out - it is for our child eventually - they have SEN and it is unlikely that they will be in a position to buy themselves something. But this way we know they will have a place of their own. We did this in mind that should we require care our home might have to be sold for this. So this their security.

I’ve never been gifted a penny and won’t be either. My mum lives off a state pension in a housing association home. If she needs a large bill paying or a new appliance, my siblings and I pool together to help her.
My siblings have/will receive an inheritance from their husbands’ families, but my DP’s mum is in the same situation as mine, so we will never receive a penny.
I am saving to put towards my mum’s funeral, I already had to contribute towards my dad’s, my brother’s and my own daughter’s…
I genuinely can’t imagine the amazing difference it would make to my life to receive an inheritance or a gift of family money. Completely unimaginable.