To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

[Kevsap]

My friend has been gifted 100k in the last two years. Eight years prior to that she was given 15k. Every few months/ a year she has around 1k gifted. I consider her to be from a wealthy family and I don’t know anyone else who has this sort of money given to them? Are people just not saying it? I will literally never receive sums like this unless I won the lottery!! My friend seems to think this is pretty average.

My parents used to gift my brother and me some money on a yearly basis (early inheritance basically)- much smaller sums than your friend is getting, but yes, money I wouldn’t otherwise have had. I realised it wasn’t particularly common and that most of my friends probably weren’t receiving the same help so it’s certainly not something I told other people about.

I did also have uni paid for (pre student loan days) and a house deposit. But the deposit was in the era of cheap house prices so it wasn’t enormous (about £12k I think 25 years ago).

My parents inherited well and are passing it on. I am trying to ringfence £50k for DD to give her a leg up too. She may well be the only grandchild on both sides of our family at this rate so is likely to benefit from that financially as there’s a lot to pass on.

We are most definitely not rich, but in the “done ok” region.

I inherited £700 when my grandparents passed away, and was given £2000 by my mum when my sibling decided to get married in Australia. (They live there, it wasn't a destination wedding). Without that money I couldn't have gone to the wedding with DH and DD. But aside from the odd tenner for a birthday, that's all I've ever received from my family and I think it's similar for most of my friends.

I got a £50 Ticketmaster voucher from DM for my birthday once. That’s as extravagant as I’ll ever get from my parents. When my Dad died, I inherited nothing and I had to pay for his funeral.

But you understand that statistically your group is not average?

It's important, IMO, to understand the general landscape.

A child who gets A* A-levels will join a pool of similar students at uni - doesn't make it average on a national level.

What you're saying is your circle is wealthy.

I know someone who recently received 200k plus from relatives via a house sale and savings.
There is a lot of money sloshing about and it's not always the very rich where people are able to move on and gift money , mostly it's from property ( or land )
I do live in the south east though

Yes I have a friend in Ireland that has financial gifts from family members. I am not sure how often. There is a name for it (sounds like orgasheen but of course that's not how it must be spelt). Generally it is gifted to enable her to buy a lovely piece of jewellery for herself or something special rather than paying the bills with. Mainly they come from a very wealthy brother or when they were alive her parents.

I don't know anyone who is gifted large sums by their parents. I know a few who have received some money as an inheritance but I would have no idea if that was £10k or £100k.

Your friend probably moves in affluent circles so has skewed view.

My DB and SIL were given enough money to buy their (large)house when they go married by SIL's parents. SIL also thinks this is not unusual and is surprised when others don't have as much disposable income as they do.

On a smaller level, I've been very surprised to find out how many people are regularly given smaller sums e.g. I know 2 or 3 people whose parents pay for them to have a week's holiday abroad each year.

I think people generally don't advertise the fact.

I was never gifted anything.. poor family background.
But I've gifted both my daughters half a million each to buy themselves an house.
Put 250 grand in each of my four Grandsons bank accounts.
They also know there is money there whenever they need it.
Eldest works F/T.. youngest HE her son.
I don't need loads to live on..
Yes l holiday abroad a lot.. that's mostly what l spend my money on.. plus anything l need for my disabilities to make my life easier.

I have a friend who continuously receives financial gifts from her MiL, enough for her not to have to work and to buy a 500k house with virtually no mortgage. However, she keeps it quiet because she knows it's a very privileged and unusual situation, and she's very grounded & extremely grateful to be in the position she is.

My lovely PiL gift us 3k every April (& have done for the past 10 years) and we're extremely thankful to them for that. I've never told anyone as I know how fortunate we are compared to many, and wouldnevereish to make someone else feel uncomfortable.

Of course it isn't average...

This is interesting do you have a link?

i got £1000 from my Grandad when we bought our first house in 2007. My partner got £20k from his dad when he downsized which went into his part of the deposit.

We then gifted 20k on to partners sister when she bought her house last year.

Large amounts might be uncommon, but the concept is normal. Elderly relatives giving gifts while they are alive, rather than waiting to give an inheritance. And of course, people trying to get rid of their assets to avoid inheritance tax .

People just don’t talk about it. I def don’t.

37% of first time buyers in 2024 had help from family with their house deposit.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/16/over-a-third-of-first-time-buyers-relying-on-bank-of-mum-and-dad

No numbers given as to financial value if help.

It is common for family to do this but equally many families cannot.

we are a working couple and we racked up debts i wont lie and we were at breaking point when DH was contacted by a pensions firm about an old pension.

we were dubious at the time and expected it to be a scam, he did pay about £3k into a pension when he was a lot younger but forgot about it when he moved jobs.

they confirmed the £3k payments and asked what he wanted to do with this pension, so we said we would cash it out, £3k would come in very handy for us at that time.

it turned out to be a pension pot of about 1/4 million pounds! we ended up with a 50k cash payout and he receives a very nice montly pension!

we had no idea! sometimes these things just happen

People don't talk about it as it can cause resentment as does so many other things in life.
It's mostly houses or savings that I've heard about and this is passed down to the children ( not in my case, but that's the breaks ! ) some people like to tell you , but mostly I feel it's kept quiet or played down a lot.
My siblings are 'boomers ' and they have some wealthy friends , but it's all come from property
or pensions. A few people have built up businesses or bought property in the 80s that has increased enormously.
It's a mixed bag from ones I know about anyway.
( or married rich men !)

It’s a bit of both. Her circumstances sound unique. But when people inherit money or have a windfall they would probably keep quiet. A few years back I inherited some money, it was a distant relative so I didn’t even tell my friends he had died. It was quite a bit and aside from my DH I didn’t tell a soul.

OP what did her parents do as a matter of interest?

My well off uncle used to give me £100 at birthdays and Xmas when I was a student and young worker, which was very much appreciated.

About 10 years ago my dad gave my brother and I a share of the money he made from selling a small peice of land he inherited from my grandad - about £3k each. Bless him he gave it to me for "a house deposit" - it just about covered conveyancing and moving costs.

That is pretty much in terms of family gifts. I am probably much better off than my dad anyway seeing as he is a partly retired tenant farmer.

Friend 1: Parents gifted them 20k house deposit and sold their old house to them with a discount.

Friend 2: Dad gave 50k for house

Friend 3: Parents are giving 30k for house

Friend 4: Parents used to spend 10k every year taking her to Disney right until she was about 25

I am in the minority with no help from my parents.

I have one friend who has this. First from her IL's. A house deposit & renos, student loans paid off, 1000's regularly because they 'needed' money, or whatever whim they had paid for. Now they've split her DP's are giving her a house. Neither family are wealthy. They have pinchef from their pension funds or business cashflow to gift it.

I wish she'd have kept it secret. It's bloody hard being constantly told in an off hand way, like someone buying them a coffee, how they've just been gifted more money than we make in a year & then they blow it, booking another holiday or meal out, while we are scrimping for every dollar. I became extremely resentful & eventually reduced contact.

Most of my friends will receive thousands from home sales in the next decade or more and one already has ( if it isn't needed for care home fees)
I feel there will be a big explosion in wealth and it won't all be from so called ' rich ' people either.
( asset rich )
I also feel that the current government and any future governments are also banking on this too
(but that's only my opinion!)

Dh and his siblings regularly get given money. Our Easter holiday was paid for example. We probably get a minimium of £15 000 a year in cash (not including birthdays and christmas) plus holidays as do his siblings.

They also gifted us a 3rd of the value of our current house when we bought it.

We don't particularly talk about it to others because it seems rude when I know many of my friends are struggling.