To think this isn’t that common? Or do people keep it to themselves?

[Kevsap]

My friend has been gifted 100k in the last two years. Eight years prior to that she was given 15k. Every few months/ a year she has around 1k gifted. I consider her to be from a wealthy family and I don’t know anyone else who has this sort of money given to them? Are people just not saying it? I will literally never receive sums like this unless I won the lottery!! My friend seems to think this is pretty average.

Could there be a cultural aspect to it?
I think fairly common in some Asian countries?

No financial help from either side of the families for us, in fact, I have to support my mum financially. But I know of a few people that have been helped with money for a home deposit (£15k) and whose parents pay for holidays or their kids clubs/expensive hobbies, replace broken appliances etc. I guess as a parent if you are well enough you'd want to help your kids.

Whilst I was typing I see a few more posts coming up with similar comments, I really do think its a lot more common that some might think - there is a LOT of money knocking around in this country! I do think there is something intriguing though in that people who can afford to do this (and I've nothing against that whatsoever) or those who benefit from it are constantly pleading poverty. I find that fascinating - why do they think they are hard up? Probably fodder for another thread.

As the thread goes on its got me thinking, surely its all relative - my dad gave me £2,000 for a house deposit and that was the entire deposit required; so bearing in mind his income was about £20k then and that this was about 35 years ago, would that now be equivalent to someone on £100k a year giving a deposit of £25k now? Sorry maths isn't my strong point.

So 35 years ago was I one of these people getting a lot of help from parents?

Not that much money. But I’ve been gifted a significant amount from my Dad but it the money in my Mum’s current account after she died.

All the posters saying they have been gifted sums of tens of thousands or house deposits etc in some cases to avoid IHT - do you not have to declare and pay tax on those gifts?

DH and I have been talking a lot about how to help the DCs financially when they are older and I thought I had read that anything over a few thousand was liable for tax (on the part of the recipient). Would be very happy to be told otherwise though.

Of course it happens, with parents in middle to high income households. Especially now that house prices are so high.

@Moier how did you manage to gift such huge sums? Did you win a lottery?

my grandparents lived in a council house, but my mum (a teacher and single parent, dad died aged 39) was careful with money and a large house she used to make money by renting rooms etc when I grew up.

she regularly topped up my monthly salary when I was early 20s and she saw I needed it, she gave me £5k when I got married and £80k when she inherited some she didn’t need. She gave me £25k from some shares she sold when my kids were babies and I had about £400k from her estate when she died.
my kids had £6k at 18 and will inherit £90k from her estate when they reach 25.

that’s it though - no more coming from anywhere. I’ve bought a property with her inheritance so that’s my pension, and her gifts have made me very privileged which I’m so grateful for - although we have a simple life and shop in Aldi we travel a lot and don’t struggle to pay bills.

despite my kids getting what some will think is a huge amount at 25 I suspect their lives will not be easy as mine, although my brother has a huge house and no kids, so I suspect they’ll benefit from that.

to answer your question, my experience is that many people do get funding from family, but I suspect geography comes into it - many of those in the south east have a lot of cash available compared to elsewhere.

Not common in my circles.

DHs parents are multi millionaires, and have never given us a penny, apart from about £3k towards our very cheap wedding, that we had to do on a very strict budget.

We are ok for money, but DH's brother is absolutely broke, and has never been given anything either.

It baffles me frankly, that PILs live the jet set lifestyle that they do, and don't offer any help to their kids or grandkids. Even if we go out for a meal (once a year), they don't offer to treat anyone.

Myself, I have inherited from one parent, which helped to wipe a huge chunk off the mortgage, and no, I don't really speak about it freely.

My parents gifted us a similar sum for our house deposit. I've never told my friends or extended family.

What has this got to do with AIBU. This should be in money matters

I think your friend probably thinks this is 'pretty average' because it's what she's used to and so she expects it must be the case for most people. I once worked with a woman (mid 20s, in a reasonably well paid profession) who came in to work complaining about how unfair it was that her parents were going to reduce her 'allowance' because they were retiring. She seemed genuinely shocked to be told that the rest of us did not receive a monthly payment from our parents to top up our salaries, and in fact many of us managed to pay a mortgage and raise children on 'just' our salary. Apparently she'd expected to continue to receive money from her parents until she got married.

Not in my family, there won't be any inheritance either.

No tax to pay when gifts are received. Gifts over the annual exemptions may be added back into the estate value when the person making the gifts dies depending on when the gift was made. IHT May then be due on the estate.

I've been gifted similar from my parents, but I'd never go around telling people about it, or think that it was usual occurance.
The largest sum by far (80k) was for a house, and I only told my partner and best friend about it. The latter because I wanted advice on whether to accept it.

YANBU.

YABU to use the term ‘gifted’. What’s wrong with ‘given’?

Yes, I think people would keep this to themselves.

I wouldn't know. We don't discuss these things.
Over the years my friends might have mentioned that parents or grandparents have helped financially with something or other, but I would find it quite odd if a friend of mine told me every time someone gave her some money. Why is she telling you? She also lacks awareness. It might be average in her circles, but if she thinks it's average across the UK, she is maybe wealthy but ill-informed/

Yes I’ve been gifted similar sums to the friend in the OP by my parents, that has mostly gone into house deposit and renovations.
In my own social circles it’s not uncommon, but nor is it everyone’s experience.

my parents have been fortunate with their own housing, inheritances and investments and so have been in a position to pass on wealth to me and my sibling.

Wow, how come you went from a poor background to giving away a couple of million pounds?

I think it's more people than you imagine. Certainly, just thinking of close friends I know - as a disclaimer, I am middle class - I have several friends whose parents contributed a significant amount to the purchase of their first homes. One friend's parents bought her a house in uni so that she could largely live rent free (and take in friends as lodgers). That was 20 years before I could afford to buy a house! So you could imagine the advantages that gave her in terms of equity.

My family gave me money when I bought a house. It was my inheritance for all intents and purposes. Their thought was, why sit it in an investment account somewhere growing money for them for another decade or more when they could see it put to good use while they were still alive? They are financially comfortable with very good private pensions and to be completely honest, have more money than they no what to do with. They have a habit of giving money to friends and family, so I think this was just normal. Now has it caused me no end of drama in the end? Yes. It has, because I have tricky family dynamics. But I'm grateful for the financial security it's meant I could provide for my children.

I've honestly never talked to anyone about it though. Dh and I both earn well and we saved a huge deposit on our own before we bought our first house. So I don't think anyone would think we had some family money in there as well, though maybe they do. For Christmases, birthdays, etc. large monetary gifts would have also been fairly normal. I don't mean, like £5k for a birthday, but yes, I can see how it might add up to £1-2K over a year or so maybe for multiple occasions. Again, it would never occur to me to mention it, nor would it occur to me to ask what other people's parents give them. Certainly, people spend silly amounts on gifts sometimes - a purse, a new iphone, a crazy expensive meal out, but we often think of giving money of the same amount as being somehow privileged.

Most people I know in my circle will have had money to help buy their houses because the prices here are so high and it basically wouldn’t have been possible without help for the majority. They haven’t all told me, some have though. But it’s just obvious. Like most people who are 30 couldn’t buy a house that was say £700k on their own.
Ive also got friends who have had grandparents give away money before or after their died and same with parents. Many people benefitted from relatively cheap houses which multiplied in value. And wages have stagnated. So unless they want their kids living with them forever ….
Some were given money to get training done for well paid careers too. Or given money to avoid IT.

I have two friends who have been given large sums like this. There just seems to be money from granny floating around and every now and again a random property gets sold and there’s another 50K handed out. I’ll never get anything like these sums. Another friend’s gran died and they found deeds in draws that showed they owned lots of buildings on local high streets that no one knew about. Cue thousands more in inheritance.

It depends. It may be more common than you realise but i am not sure it is that common if you see what I mean.

My Dcs were both left money in a very distant relative's will. 12 beneficiaries left with a very nice sum. 10 of those beneficiaries were in their 30s and ours were under the age of 13 at the time. So the others i expect just quietly paid off their mortgages or bought something and ours has theirs in trust until they are 25.

I'd never tell anyone IRL that. Even the Dcs don't know. But I think they are exceptionally lucky. I've personally never heard of such good fortune but that's because people don't really talk about these things IME. (Unless they are boasting).

No you do not need to pay tax on gifts.

If Anna gifts Bob money and dies within 7 years there may be inheritance tax to pay depending on the estate.