To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

I have quite a broad brush view on this but there’s 3 reasons people vote for a party - I’ve always done it/my family always have, policies that they think will benefit them the most and then policies for the type of society they want to live in. I don’t think it’s a massive reach to say the third one is probably the smallest.

What's the party?
If you aren't going to answer that I'm not sure why you think there can be any kind of interesting/helpful discussion about this.

You had a physical reaction to finding out another mum at school is a Tory? What?

OP, you should seek help if people who have different views to yours cause you physical reactions. Please pick up the phone to your GP when you’ve stopped (presumably) crying and shaking.

Get a grip. She has different views to you this doesn't make her 'not nice'. You have a very blinkered view of life.

DB said it was obvious everyone would vote for the party that he would do best under.

I wouldn’t, I vote for the party my child will do best under- given that we don’t know what our children will need. My child may be fit as a flea, and brilliant. He may have physical disabilities or poor mental health.

So I vote for the party that builds the best world.

We don’t all agree which one that is, though.

All mainstream parties in the UK serve the interests of white, middle class people above anyone else.

So I understand why people of that demographic often think "politics doesn't matter".

Other people may feel very differently however, and you're just going to have to get over that fact.

You miss the irony of your comment

Ikr, it's like some posters don't actually hear their own thoughts when they write them down.

Jesus l thought you were going to say she was a paedo or something

I have said it’s not Tory… my siblings are Tory. My brother’s has an in-law who was a high ranking Tory.

It’s Reform, if you think it matters

Friday after Brexit vote I arrived at my Dad's house only to find out he had voted Leave and had been a UKIP District Convener (no idea). I defaced the placard outside his house before feeling I could spend the weekend there. He voted for [ill-informed] economic reasons, not for any particular rid the country of migrants racist claptrap. Equally I know for many people the leave vote was one of get rid of certain type of people and ultimately racistly motivated. My point being your party affiliation usually doesn't define a person in their entirety. There are exceptions. I don't know what brand of right this lady is. You sound narrow minded and judgy

I'm really glad I neither know nor care how my friends vote.

Reform! ……far right? 😂😂😂
The Woke ‘left’ have started calling anything which involves common sense ‘far right’.

I wasn't joining in the good/bad person debate, and I agree that no party completely represents people's views, just pointing out to pp what democracy means.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who is heavily involved in Reform, like the person who op mentions.

A floating voter, or a misguided protest voter, maybe. But not an actual Reform activist.

I doubt they'd want to be friends with me either, and I'm fine with that.

Im not sure I completely agree with this tbh! I would also be shocked op. I had a colleague who I thought was quite nice, worked well together etc until I heard him make a racist comment towards another co worker. I was absolutely stunned!!! It just makes me realise how stupid and ignorant some people are… and that’s the kinder ones. I suspect that some people are not ignorant but actually very unlikeable and nasty. I’d say if you ex friend has made a deliberate choice to join an organisation you think is racist, (I’m guessing that’s what you are thinking) then she’s probably the latter. I’d find it unforgivable on a personal level. X

That is a really good point, Sloths and whilst I hate Starmer, my own labour MP is actually great.

Thanks also, historiccastles, I do understand what you're saying. It is just such a minefield and as the electorate, we are neither told the truth nor given recourse to remove other than at a general election.

I don't have confidence in any of the figureheads and their cronies, other than that they will continue to be self-serving.

They’re picking up a lot op looking at the results from votes yesterday so you’ll find it more likely

I definitely don't support Reform, but is it far right? The BBC had to apologise recently for referring to it that way.

How far is the far right? What does it even mean nowadays?

I’ve been called far right for not wanting men in women’s showers.

I’ve been called far right because I have children in private school - do the many many Chinese, African and Indian families that go there too get called far right?

Ive been called far right and Tory scum because I have my own business.

Far right is just a catch phrase now.

The days of skin heads matching through town attacking people of colour are long gone. It’s the boogie man that’s always banded about by people with left views to try and diminish them. There really isn’t a far right problem in the U.K.

We do however have a serious problem with the far left who historically have always been the ones who cause the most damage to society. It’s easy to research. It really is.

We have two main parties which are actually very central and very similar. This is least Tory Gov we have ever had and the least Lab gov we have ever had.

No wonder people are seeking other parties.

The inability to tolerate people who have opinions and views contrary to one's own is a sign of great immaturity.

They are right wing populist, not quite the far right I imagined.
I’m not British. When I moved to the UK the BNP became the local councillors in the ward I worked in whilst I was waiting to start, and on a practical level I had to muddle along for the sake of all families I worked with. I had to put my personal beliefs and own afront aside
I also don’t vote Tory, but my local councillors are decent day to day and I’m polite- whilst voting differently to them. They are polite to me when I cross and I recognise they do good.
You need to get over your moralising in day to day life. People don’t become morally good or bad because of their tribal politics. It’s all quite silly looking in as a foreigner.
Ive met Labour voting racists, Tory voting generous people who house refugees, corrupt members of the socialist union party and so on. People are people, political leanings don’t tell you much.

CheesexCrackers · Today 10:26

Someone's political view point absolutely defines them as a good or bad person.

This

I don't understand how people could think otherwise. I'm utterly shocked how many people in schools, public servants and healthcare are rabid right wingers. Utterly, utterly shocked. The more we normalise the othering of people, the worse and worse our society gets.

I manage a woman like this. She's right wing, a fan of all the right-wing extremists. But she's a lovely person. We get on fine and she's given me no reason to believe she secretly detests me or anything. She is very open about her life, and has explained why she follows who she does. But we share other common interests, and we respect each other as far as I know. I'm black, she's white (and older), if that matters.