Teacher bought an ex students only fans?

[ShyPearlMoose]

My friend has an x rated members website and has just told me that our old science teacher from secondary school has bought it! The same teacher that there were always dodgy rumours about him being a creep.

Is this worth mentioning to the school or is that over dramatic? It's really weird but she's 22 now and hasn't been at the school for 4 years.
Thoughts?

This

Exactly

He's subscribed to an adult porn site, and just so happens to be that she knows him. The next police officer, lawyer, someone you work with, your manager, could also do this? Private life, trade and buy! Teachers are humans too, why start ruining his career because he's doing what millions of others do?

Ah I see, so you think he was actually seeking her out? That makes it much more sinister, I just thought it was anonymous. No that's not right at all.

Having just read a bit more and can't find a way to delete my last comment. I thought it was just a coincidence but if knowing the only fans woman as being an ex student then absolutely no! This is not ethical and yes creepy. Sorry for previous comment, totally out of order, ugh what teacher would do this, whether male or female. They are former students, you see them as that and nothing else! I do actually feel repulsed now.

Anyone who buys onlyfans should have their careers ruined.

Does she definitely know it’s him there 5 of us with exactly the same name in my works directory and it’s not particularly common
name

could be same name different person

But if their science teacher right now is masturbating to OF footage of a young woman who four years ago was sitting in her school uniform in that classroom, I don't want him around my children. I wonder that anyone else could be comfortable with that.

The OF bit is dodgy, yes. And if the school has a 5 year policy, then he’s in breach and it’s a genuine issue.

But, come on. What’s with all this sanctimonious nonsense? An adult male having sexual thoughts about a (presumably attractive) adult woman in various states of undress does not make him a pervert.

The online issue complicates things. But it is normal to find people - yes, even people younger than you - sexually attractive. Children grow up. Once they are adults they are, you know, not children any more. Most of us wore school uniform at one time. It doesn’t make us eternally vulnerable. You cannot control who people wank over FFS.

Is OP coming back or is she busy?

I'm sure many will be shocked to the core, but teachers are human and do normal human things, I'm reminded of a very bawdy "lads night out" where a motley crew of us male teaching staff ranging in age from 24 to 65, including the head and deputy - hit the town - the head (who was very straight laced) got horribly pissed, wolf whistling at girls outside a club and took a pee against the bar in a pub.

Totally rat arsed we ended up at the head of sciences house, consuming more beer, before a young NQT suggested "putting a porno on" - so there you had it, the entire male staff more or less, all legless, watching porn and being sick on the poor head of sciences carpet whilst cheering ar this darned film like a football game!!.

Was a memorable night for sure! - sober they are a right boring group!! That was 10 years ago, so not that long.

Everyone has a safeguarding responsibility. He's accessing adult material - not children's.

You'd be breaching his privacy - possibly illegally.

And if the sexual material being viewed by an adult is creepy then don't make the material.

He is no longer her teacher. She is no longer an innocent child student but an adult sec worker,

She could work in a supermarket, like many others, but prefers the eady way out by spreading legs for cash on Of. Tbh they ate both didgusting. OF is hardly a must to make some money for people these days.

Did the porn feature any recent ex-students? No? Then not relevant, we don't care about your night out thanks. You seem to have missed the crucial point.

Teachers can of course drink, have sex, use porn and I'm not, as a pp suggested, being so sanctimonious as to suggest they should never let a sexual thought cross their mind. Go on OF if you want. But finding an OF page of a student you taught four years ago and subscribing? Wrong, creepy, sinister and potentially predatory.

I think some posters aren't joining the dots that what has likely attracted this man to this woman's OF is the thrill of seeing a young ex-pupil performing sex acts. And by subscribing, he's made sure she knows he's watching. That's the fucking problem, not teachers having sex. It's involving their students in it that I'm objecting to.

I think some posters aren't joining the dots that what has likely attracted this man to this woman's OF is the thrill of seeing a young ex-pupil performing sex acts.

Possibly, possibly not. It’s actually none of our or anyone’s business what gives him a thrill. The only potential problem (and I’m not saying it’s a trivial one) is whether he is in breach of the school’s policy about online contact with ex-students.

You can wring your hands all you like about the horror of a teacher fancying an ex-student and having sexual thoughts about someone who used to wear a school uniform, but you don’t get to police people’s sexual fantasies.

There’s a lot of (what I asssume to be faux) outrage about men’s sexual thoughts on this thread. It baffles me. We live in a world where people openly admit to being turned on by dressing as a dog and being led round on a lead FFS. An adult man getting turned on by younger women on OF is pretty fucking tame.

Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely take issue with offensive male behaviour; you can see on other threads how I will defend women and girls until I’m blue in the face. But I will draw the line at getting upset about what I suspect might be going on in a man’s head. That’s his business.

I don’t pretend to understand Only Fans but I think I’m right in saying it’s legal and for adults. I am not a fan of porn and am actively against the porn industry which clearly abuses and damages vulnerable women. But, again, OF seems on the tame end of this spectrum since it’s controlled by individuals who reap direct monetary rewards.

As I said, if the school has a clear 5 year policy - easy: he’s done wrong. Otherwise, it’s a total non-issue.

What grates about some of these responses is all this fainting with shock at the idea of a grown man having sexual thoughts; it’s just absurd to me. Men have a lot of sexual thoughts. Hell, sometimes women do too. About people other than their husband!! People are allowed thoughts that you don’t like.

I am unsurprised @BernardBlacksBreakfastWine that you've decided to dismiss arguments about grooming and dangerous sexual behaviour by sneering at women expressing concern and calling them prudish, mocking them, implying they're frigid - it's a very familiar and very depressing approach. The problem isn't a man who might be dangerous to the teenage girls to whom he has a duty of care; it's those boring uptight women who faint at the thought of sex!

No. I have encountered men who groom and men who are dangerous, men whose sexual fantasies are a fucking problem actually because they decide to act them out on unconsenting women. Well, you have never been a schoolgirl facing the 'creepy teacher', you haven't got the slightest fucking clue about what women and girls experience. And you don't get to berate women who point out the warning signs of a predator by calling them frigid.

@WhatIfHesWrittenMine

I am unsurprised @BernardBlacksBreakfastWine that you've decided to dismiss arguments about grooming and dangerous sexual behaviour by sneering at women expressing concern and calling them prudish

Why are you ‘unsurprised’? Do you know me?!

Didn’t call anyone prudish at all. I am actually pretty ‘prudish’ myself based on the actual definition. This has nothing to do with my argument.

This has baffled me too:

Well, you have never been a schoolgirl facing the 'creepy teacher', you haven't got the slightest fucking clue about what women and girls experience

How could you possibly know this about me? I am a woman! I was a schoolgirl in the 90s so I probably have more idea than you. Most of us have been there. I also know what made/makes me uncomfortable about male behaviour. I’d be uncomfortable if a man talked to me about OF or any other porn, or if he watched it in public.

But a grown man accessing legal porn in private? Not interested.

Porn is largely depressing and not something I am into. But you must know it’s widespread in our society? And not every man who watches porn is a predator, not by a long shot.

Everyone (almost) has sexual urges, men and women alike. Not everything sexual is evil.

The only potential anomaly in this particular case is the grey area over the time period he should have observed following the student leaving school.

And if I have to spell it out again @BernardBlacksBreakfastWine before you patronisingly explain the concept of sexual fantasies being private to me again, here is my issue:

• it's highly unlikely he ended up on her page by coincidence. If he actively sought her out then is he someone who keeps tabs on certain girls he teaches, looks them up online, searches for information about them - stalks them, in fact?
• when he hit the jackpot and found she had an OF, he actively chose to subscribe, knowing this young woman would see it was him. He gets off on the dynamic, on the memories, on the fact that she was his student and the prospect of making her uncomfortable now, he knows it's inappropriate and that's what he likes.
• but the thrill wears off over time, he needs something more. Like other pornsick predators, he needs to escalate - and that's the point at which he moves to the girls in his classes right now.

I am extremely aware of male teachers who have groomed pupils and it doesn't begin with immediate offending. They build up. It starts with fantasy, they make it a reality over time. This guy is a known creep. He's managed to find this OF page and made an active choice to make contact. He's like a flasher at this point, and plenty of women have experienced patronising men dismissing how uncomfortable and upsetting their experience of flashers have been (but they're probably just silly uptight women, right, who don't understand that men have sexual thoughts!) And as we know, flashers escalate to graver offences.

Don't tell me you're a noble defender of women, one of the good guys, a nice guy! When you just have to put women in their place and you resort to the old chestnut of telling them they're pearl clutchers - hysterical maybe? We've heard it before.

'Not everything sexual is evil' I am banging my head against a wall here. That has never been what I was saying and it is so reductive and so patronising and so far off the point.

I did assume you were a man, so some of my response obviously doesn't make sense. But I've explained the pattern of groomers as best I can, if you can't see the danger in what this man has done then I can't convince you. But please understand that I am not horrified or 'fainting' at the thought of sex or sexual fantasies. That's not the point at all.

The trouble is, you’ve made a lot of this stuff up.

If the scenario was as you’ve suggested, of course there’s a problem!

But there’s no evidence that much of what you say is actually the case.

This in particular stands out too:

He gets off on the dynamic, on the memories, on the fact that she was his student and the prospect of making her uncomfortable now, he knows it's inappropriate and that's what he likes.

If he gets off on the dynamic and his memory of her, that’s entirely his business (assuming a proper gap between her leaving school and now). You’ve then yoked it seamlessly to the bit that is a problem - the prospect of making her uncomfortable. But that bit is conjecture.

If he’s doing that last bit, if he’s deliberately sought her out and wants her to know it, that’s the problematic bit.

What I object to is the pointless demonisation of the sexual thoughts themselves. It’s happened a lot on this thread by many posters.

There was someone who said they didn’t want a man who masturbates over young women anywhere near her children. As if the aim is to eliminate other people’s sexual fantasies! It’s not only ridiculous- it’s counter-productive.

Male behaviour is a massive problem in our society. It’s an unmanageable problem at the moment tbh. It leaks into all our culture. It needs constant policing. There’s plenty to do without speculating about what men might be masturbating over FFS.

You don’t know, even, if the guy is a ‘known creep’. There are plenty of teachers that kids label ‘creepy’ without a shred of evidence. Equally, there are plenty of genuinely predatory men who go under the radar.

I’m sorry if this topic is bringing back specific memories for you. But this is not about your predatory teacher.

I didn't want a man who masturbates over former schoolgirls he recently taught teaching my daughters, no, but my point there was that his fantasies are inextricably tied up with his behaviour because it's not imaginary - he has made sexual contact with this young woman. So it's not the fantasies alone, perhaps I was unclear there, it's that he's fuelling the fantasies by acting in a way that is not OK and that takes them outside of his own head and starts to have an impact on the subject of the fantasy. Which is the problem.

Look, he has crossed a line. Subscribing to her OF is a boundary that he has chosen to break. One boundary topples and it gets easier to push through the next and the next...

I'm going to say I believe the OP that he was creepy, that he already makes girls uncomfortable. Because that's right in line with him finding the OF and signing up to it. That is a pattern of behaviour, and one that I'd rather not have around my girls for sure. So I think he should be reported to the school, just in case this is another piece of a bigger picture around this particular teacher.

It is NOT about policing fantasies, it is about this man's behaviour @BernardBlacksBreakfastWine

While his behaviour is a disgusting the fact remains that if she is setting out her stall in that way as an adult then she can hardly act all shocked and play the victim when someone she knows buys her product.

Personally I think that what she is doing i.e. making pornography is just as disgusting and creepy as him buying it.

The poster for me has dived off the deep end. And is being very forceful in her views, which have included a huge amount of reach.

@WhatIfHesWrittenMine for all you know he’s close to her age, never looked at her twice at school , was on only fans, found her attractive, liked her content and subscribed. You are going simply too far. Masturbating over school kids he recently taught, plural. Getting off on making her uncomfortable, dynamic, the memories

its sick and it is something you’ve no idea if it’s even remotely true.

and edited to say she’s not a school girl he recently taught. She’s a grown woman he taught a few years ago.

I've no idea how OF works. Does she not have to accept him before he can see everything?

And we still don't know if she was someone he may have taught in Y7 for a term or right up until the end of her A levels. If it was Y7 he'd likely have no idea. If it was Y13 he'll know for sure

Oh it's become a few years rather than five now @Sillyjane . I'm sketching out the worst case scenario of what his behaviour might mean, because I think he should be reported - because keeping children safe means reporting anything that is concerning, and a teacher subscribing to an ex-pupil's OF is a concern. The school can decide what to do with the information - it may be nothing, it may be major. But I have worked with a teacher who groomed his students and I do know that it happens, and what the consequences can be.

At the very least, this man needs to be told his judgement and his boundaries are off. He may not be the man I have described, but he might be - and if he is, then girls get hurt as a result of it being dismissed and ignored.

I would want to know this

Has he made himself known he is her old teacher via a message or other wise?
If he has then I would consider this a big problem and wouldn’t hesitate to report. he’s making it known he knows she’s an ex pupil, power dynamics potentially at play here and leaves her open to potential blackmail (also leaves himself open to this too) . Any normal teacher would back the fuck away and seek out someone he hasn’t taught for this sort of content.

what kind of content is your friend making? If it’s playing on the ‘teen’ stuff because she looks really young and acting immature or she’s wearing school uniforms or similar this is a big issue because the ex-teacher has sought out this particular type of content and I would be hugely concerned a teacher is getting aroused by women pretending to be school pupils or young teens. (id also think your friend is a dick for making that kind of content too!)

there’s the slim possibility he doesn’t know who she is. With make up, camera angles and the type of content your friend is making she probably looks very different to her school years.

if it was a follow/subscribe and nothing else I don’t think there’s much she can do short of blocking him getting access and refunding any money he has payed.

as her friend I would be telling her the huge risks she’s creating for herself with her only fans. She already has someone she knows accessing her material. At 22 you’re too young to really understand the impacts this will have on the rest of your life.

also I liken only fans to MLM opportunities. The only people making money are the company owners and the ones that are already big names and you are doing all the Labour for a pittance. Basically an abusive relationship not empowering at all.