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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset by Mamas & Papas Staff

151 replies

SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:09

The other day DH and I ordered a Doona Nitro car seat/stroller as it’s compact enough for me to manage by myself. It’s very early days, still first trimester, but we wanted to make the most of the brand having a sale.

Yesterday I was in Mamas & Papas for a look around and I got chatting to a woman who works there about items we’d bought/were thinking of. I mentioned that we’d just bought the Doona and she started talking about how dangerous that model would be for my baby - that I should instead buy one of their travel systems (keeping in mind these are over a grand!)

I guess I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset by this? I’m aware that my hormones are going crazy at the moment, and I’m a FTM so I have no idea what I’m doing.

But it felt very much like she was trying to scare me in order to make an expensive sale. It half worked — I’m very scared that the model we chose is going to harm the baby, but it didn’t make me want to buy anything from there!

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 02/05/2024 13:11

You’re planning on not having a pram and pushing the baby round in the car seat all the time?

WarshipRocinante · 02/05/2024 13:13

It’s not all you’re going to use, is it? It’s ok for short trips, but a baby shouldn’t be in a car seat for very long. It’s easier, but it’s really bad to just have them in the car seat and also use that as the pram. They should be lying flat in a proper pram.

Cookiedough123 · 02/05/2024 13:13

As far as I am aware doonas are ok but so many people use them as a stroller. Newborns should only be in a seat for max 30 mins which eventually go up to 2 hours. I’ve seen people with them at Chester zoos and all day trips out which is worrying. That may be what they were implying..

Watchwatchmymysteedsteedgogofarfar · 02/05/2024 13:14

Think you may need a pram as well as it's better for babies to lay flat. That's probably what she meant.

CoCoBeeBee · 02/05/2024 13:14

I'm sorry op, babies shouldn't be in the car seat travel system for a prolonged time. Should be in a lie down position....

Maybe the staff member could have explained it better? But if your planning on using a Doona Nitro alone then yabu

SpringLamby · 02/05/2024 13:15

Sorry but she's right.

If its the stroller I'm thinking of (car seat on a frame) they aren't safe.

Newborns should spend minimal amounts of time in car seats and be placed in a flat bassinet as much as possible when not travelling.

Original poster
SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:15

It could be that me and the worker at store got our wires crossed - we do have a second hand pram already but it’s very large

We opted for the Doona to make it easy for short trips I might make by myself

OP posts:
SevenSeasOfRhye · 02/05/2024 13:16

I'd say the shop worker needs to be careful - presumably the one you have bought complies with all relevant safety standards - she shouldn't be making claims that another company's product is unsafe; they would have grounds to take legal action against her employer. It's OK to say factually that product A has a safety feature that product B lacks, but not that product B is unsafe.

SpringLamby · 02/05/2024 13:16

I don't think they should be allowed to be sold personally. It just encourages dangerous practices.

WarshipRocinante · 02/05/2024 13:17

SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:15

It could be that me and the worker at store got our wires crossed - we do have a second hand pram already but it’s very large

We opted for the Doona to make it easy for short trips I might make by myself

I don’t really get this. I managed without ever using one of those car seat strollers. They aren’t safe for the baby. I was a single parent from when I was pregnant. I didn’t have help. Never found it hard to put a pram up…

Is there a reason you won’t be able to pop a pram up by yourself?

idontlikealdi · 02/05/2024 13:18

She has a point though. are you going to have a proper lie flat pram too?

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 02/05/2024 13:19

SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:15

It could be that me and the worker at store got our wires crossed - we do have a second hand pram already but it’s very large

We opted for the Doona to make it easy for short trips I might make by myself

they didn’t make these when I had my babies but I’d be returning it and buying a proper lie flat pram and a separate car seat that you can use (though I don’t understand why you’d struggle with a pram of any kind) they are so bad for babies and they look so flimsy and rubbish. The shop assistant probably could have been clearer in her chat but essentially she is right and you’ve made a bad choice here. As seems to be the general consensus.

SpringLamby · 02/05/2024 13:20

Can't you sell both and buy something that's suitable for a newborn but not so bulky?

DragonFly98 · 02/05/2024 13:21

Doona's are a very poor quality car seat safety wise and restric baby's breathing. Also you shouldn't use a car seat as a pram.

bakewellbride · 02/05/2024 13:21

I've had 2 kids and never once used one of those push along car seat things - babies should only be in car seats when necessary I.e. in the car.

Original poster
SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:22

idontlikealdi · 02/05/2024 13:18

She has a point though. are you going to have a proper lie flat pram too?

We have a proper pram that was given to us by a friend but it’s quite large and I’ve never tried navigating things like stairs with one by myself.

We thought that having something smaller would suit better if I have to nip out by myself

OP posts:
SpringLamby · 02/05/2024 13:23

SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:22

We have a proper pram that was given to us by a friend but it’s quite large and I’ve never tried navigating things like stairs with one by myself.

We thought that having something smaller would suit better if I have to nip out by myself

Show quote history

You're better off with a good quality carseat and a sling.

That things are crappy car seats and crappy prams.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 02/05/2024 13:24

SammieJean · 02/05/2024 13:22

We have a proper pram that was given to us by a friend but it’s quite large and I’ve never tried navigating things like stairs with one by myself.

We thought that having something smaller would suit better if I have to nip out by myself

Show quote history

Why can’t you ‘nip out by yourself’ without putting your baby in danger? Why are all ignoring all the advice that tells you these are bad??

WhereIsMyLight · 02/05/2024 13:31

I have the doona trike. It’s really compact but more fiddly to put up and take down than my big, bulky pram is. It’s also not that easy to manoeuvre. The pram has got big wheels so stairs are pretty easy in it, as is tracks in parks and pavements. When you nip out by yourself you will still have a big changing bag with muslins, maybe bottles and when the baby is older, food, snacks, toys. You’ll be carrying the changing bag yourself rather than shoving it under the pram.

HurkleDurkler · 02/05/2024 13:32

Do you have some disabilities which are impacting your decisions here?

If not, a good quality car seat and a light lie-flat pram would be much better for the baby.

HurkleDurkler · 02/05/2024 13:33

Or, as others have already said, a sling.

Starbugg · 02/05/2024 13:33

Honestly OP, I would return the Doona if you can. Newborns shouldn’t be in a car seat for longer than 30 mins, and then no more than two hours when they’re bigger. It really isn’t good for a baby to be in one for long periods of time and too many people use Doona as their main pram after it became popular on social media.

Maybe the M&P staff member could have been more gentle in what she said, but she really does have a point. There are cheaper options than the M&P brand so it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Babyboomtastic · 02/05/2024 13:34

I adored my Doona. I used it for about 4 years straight (2 children) and rarely used any other pram. I had a giant cossato but they hated it and we hated it so it only had occasional use.

The Doona is amazing at what it's designed for, though it's not really meant to be a full time pram replacement. But we used slings a lot so between those and the Doona we were fine. Certainly my two were much more comfortable and happy in it then any pram they had.

If you want it to pop in and out of shops, the car, school run or alternate it with a sling then go for it. If you are planning on the baby being in it for hours at a time then I wouldn't. Though personally I'd still get the Doona and get a cheap second hand pram for big trips out.

Ps: for urban use they are amazing. They often fit down the aisles of trains and buses, fold down tiny and you can safely use them in taxis as they with etc both seatbelt and isofix. Saying that, we used then in the countryside a lot too, and put up with a lot of abuse from us.

midgetastic · 02/05/2024 13:34

The op clearly says they have a lie flat pram already and does not sy she plans to use the car seat for hours at a time ?

BirdsofAmerica · 02/05/2024 13:34

Do more research and stop lashing out at a sales person doing their job and blaming your hormones, maybe..?