AIBU to be upset by Mamas & Papas Staff

[SammieJean]

The other day DH and I ordered a Doona Nitro car seat/stroller as it’s compact enough for me to manage by myself. It’s very early days, still first trimester, but we wanted to make the most of the brand having a sale.

Yesterday I was in Mamas & Papas for a look around and I got chatting to a woman who works there about items we’d bought/were thinking of. I mentioned that we’d just bought the Doona and she started talking about how dangerous that model would be for my baby - that I should instead buy one of their travel systems (keeping in mind these are over a grand!)

I guess I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset by this? I’m aware that my hormones are going crazy at the moment, and I’m a FTM so I have no idea what I’m doing.

But it felt very much like she was trying to scare me in order to make an expensive sale. It half worked — I’m very scared that the model we chose is going to harm the baby, but it didn’t make me want to buy anything from there!

But if you are “ bumping”, you could just bump a pram that doesn’t have the baby in a scrunched position. Pushing a pram isn’t such a trial that mum needs an extra dinky one …

Baby would be best in a lie flat pram for most of your outings. Unless you are unable to lift basic items (eg have physical issues not mentioned) there’s no reason to get this lightweight car seat push chair.

I had a fabric sling until my girls were 4-5months and then moved onto a Tula carrier. We’ve cycled through many prams in the last 3 years with varying success (Cybex Eezy has been good to be fair) but my £5 fabric sling and then Tula are hands down my best baby purchases out of everything I’ve bought both girls

we have an Uppababy Cruz travel system which takes both car seat and buggy/bassinet attachment. Was perfect for me in terms of your criteria - easy to nip out with, easy to fold down, very manoeuvrable, never felt heavy, fits in the boot etc. I can't recommend it highly enough. Used it for 3 years with our first and will be using it soon with our second.

You can get them second hand very easily these days if price is a concern.

I agree it's really not safe to keep the baby in a car seat for more than 30 minutes at at a time. Fine for a quick dash here and there as long as you also get the baby out of it often, but you are going to need a better option long-term.

I had the oyster 3 with the lie-flat pushchair and car seat with adapter to put on the frame. I didn't think the bassinet was worth it. It lasts such a short amount of time.

If I was going a long walk with the pram, baby was in the lie-flat pushchair. If I was popping somewhere local in town or a brief car at journey I'd clip the car seat onto the frame. It's fine as long as your mindful of time. It was handy for popping in and out of baby groups etc where I was just taking baby out anyway.

If you have a lie-flat pushchair, good quality car seat with adapter for your pushchair frame, and a sling you're happy with, then you've got everything covered.

Everyone manages out on their own with prams. You'll be fine.

for babywearing we used the Ergobaby 360, a Close Caboo, and a Karrime stretchy wrap at various times. See if you can borrow a few (is there a sling library near you?) or pick them up second hand, and try out what you like.

I had a doona, and a travel system with bassinet etc. Doona was hands down the easiest, handiest, best pram I had. No, I didn't leave my daughter in there all day like some people are suggesting might happen.
I now have a 4.5 year old, who does not and did not ever have a flat head, didn't suffocate despite falling asleep in it, went on holiday with it - great for travel and it's a car seat so no need to hire one, easy to manouvre, lightweight (ish), isofox base, can get a bag for the back sp no need for the basket underneath.
Loved my doona and if OP has one and thinks it's the best thing for her and her baby then let her get one with it.
I would agree with her 🙃

That’s utterly distasteful.

A pram that made my babies scream and scream, that was heavy, bulky and took up most of the room in my boot? No thank you!!

They were perfectly content in the Doona. They liked them position of it, and it's certainly done them no harm.

I've tried full prams/light pushchairs, the lot, for both my own and other people's kids. I know what it's like to get a small child out of a car seat into a buggy in the rain, just because your need 6 items from Tesco, and I've done that with the Doona. The Doona was by far the easiest. In a risky different league. If you haven't actually tried one, then I'm not sure you can really say that they are pointless.

You'll not that no one on this thread had said they had one and didn't love it, or find it very convenient.

@Cheesepleease

What is?

They made a horrible reference to a non-viable pregnancy

OP do you have a mobility or something that will make the pram difficult?

because I have one of the buggiest, bulkiest tanks of a travel system, and you just unfold the wheels and pop the bassinet on top until it clicks.

it’s not heavy. It’s nothing to manoeuvre.

it really isn’t faff

Ever had a non-viable pregnancy? The way you speak about it is very flippant and disrespectful.

If that was in response to me - up thread OP was saying she’d had a positive viability scan and some posters were splitting hairs saying that was impossible until she was 24 weeks. I was pointing out there are two types of ‘viability’ - yes the baby becomes viable at 24 weeks but actually the pregnancy itself is considered viable upon seeing a heartbeat etc from six weeks. So OP has every right to be pleased with her positive pregnancy viability scan and has every right to start getting excited by prams and pushchairs if that’s what she wants to do.

I second a wrap. It was brilliant.

It's a lot more common than you think, and while I am ok after mine, many people aren't. So for you to refer to something that can be very traumatic for people in the way that you do is horrible.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Even if that meant people like you might learn some empathy.

Really ? I was constantly out from my babies being a day or 2 old

No I didn’t have one. Mine didn’t scream in a flat one though.

We were very conservative until the vaccines had been done .

Look at car seat safety on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/carseatsafetyuk/

They can be a bit ott. But really helpful. As car seat is one of the few things that really could save your baby in worst case and also there are dangers of babies having difficulty breathing if poor fit in car seat.

I have a really lightbweight car seat ( avanoiut) so I can cary it and it can go on a pram base but most of the time I put baby in a sling. I use it more than pram!!