AIBU to be upset by Mamas & Papas Staff

[SammieJean]

The other day DH and I ordered a Doona Nitro car seat/stroller as it’s compact enough for me to manage by myself. It’s very early days, still first trimester, but we wanted to make the most of the brand having a sale.

Yesterday I was in Mamas & Papas for a look around and I got chatting to a woman who works there about items we’d bought/were thinking of. I mentioned that we’d just bought the Doona and she started talking about how dangerous that model would be for my baby - that I should instead buy one of their travel systems (keeping in mind these are over a grand!)

I guess I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset by this? I’m aware that my hormones are going crazy at the moment, and I’m a FTM so I have no idea what I’m doing.

But it felt very much like she was trying to scare me in order to make an expensive sale. It half worked — I’m very scared that the model we chose is going to harm the baby, but it didn’t make me want to buy anything from there!

This! I can’t get my head around this mindset??!! The amount of people honestly thinking ‘well I really like this pram but it starts to kill your baby after about 20 minutes. I’m going to buy it anyway and just try to remember to remove my baby before it starts suffocating to death’!! wtf are people thinking 😳

She was right unfortunately. Doonas are a crap car seat and a crap pram. Newborn babies shouldn’t be in that position for more than 30 minutes, it’s not a safe car seat and from a months old when they can do 2 hours in it it’s too heavy to comfortably lift a seat in/out the car so it’s expensive for something so shortlived. Definitely get a sling, go to a sling library to try some out. I’d also think about a lightweight buggy for the boot of the car if you’re worried about handling the big one on your own, something like a YoYo which is single fold with the newborn pack and it’ll last you as most people swap to a lighter buggy once they’ve got a toddler anyway.

If you're signed up to Emma's Diary you get emails with offers on a website called Baby planet ( I think)
I got a mamas and papas pram with carry cot, footmuff, changing bag, cup holder, maxi cosi car seat and adaptors for just over £600, the bundle was worth £1200 roughly if bought from Mamas and Papas, their stuff is massively overpriced.
Baby planet also had deals if you're not buying through Emma's Diary which are not that much more expensive, they have other brands too. It might be worth having a look on there.

also bear in mind that sort of position can contribute to flat head syndrome.

a proper pram with a sleep safe carrycot is honestly a joy, and you learn to navigate with one very quickly x

Not sure why this would upset you if you already have a second hand pram aswell as the doona?

I did wait until I’d had a viability scan, but I totally appreciate that anything can happen x

24 weeks is usually considered the "potential viability" point in pregnancy.

I would try to just enjoy the early stages of your pregnancy OP. You've got plenty of time to do your research about prams and car seats etc. Congrats.

I never understood how people could use slings. I'm small boned and I was half throttled and off balance when I tried using one. The babies in my family are really large up but grow into slim adults so I guess slings were never going to be great for us.

I voted yanbu as your are not unreasonable to feel like that but she is right that you can't have a baby in a car seat the whole time.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy 💐

To be honest OP you don’t really do that much “nipping about” in the first months. By the time you do, the baby is nearly old enough for a forward facing light buggy that will lie flat. One of ours liked sleeping in the car seat but the health visitor told me to stop letting them because as well as their spine needing to be flat as much as possible , it impacts the way their lungs fill. Car sets are designed to keep them safe as possible in a car accident , but not for optimum posture the rest of the time. Those early weeks go very fast: you will hardly leave the house for the first fortnight. I don’t think it’s a great investment personally.

If it's easier you can now get very good car seats that can convert to lie flat when on top of the pram body. They are really safe and really useful, ours also swiveled so that we could get her out of the car more easily.

The less time in a car seat the better

After 12 weeks the chances of the pregnancy not progressing are much lower OP. You are closer than the 24 week comments make it sound…

OP one of the main things I’ve had my eyes opened about since having my first baby 18 months ago is how horrifically unsafe so many baby products are. I think I thought that if it was sold; it must be ok?? But no, there’s really awful stuff out there and the more people see it; the more it is normalised.

im talking about things like:
Car seats used as prams
cot bumpers
those little snuz pod things
the jumparoo things
really bad sling positioning
cuddly toys in cot for under 1s
those hairbands with bows on newborns

of course plenty of parents use these while cognisant of the risks and that is fine, people make their own judgements. But the important thing is that YOU make your own judgements after reading the evidence, and not just base it on what you think looks handy or that you’ve seen other people do.

sorry you were upset though, I’m sure you were trying to do the right thing. I do agree with the saleswoman thought, Doona is not great as a car seat or as a pram.
most of the prams these days are perfectly manageable to get in and out of a car boot for example or bump down a few steps.

This.

Just googled the Doona and i just wouldn’t have one myself.

We opted for the maxi cosi pebble 360 pro for baby because of the lie flat option.

This is great advice. I totally overestimated the amount of nipping and popping I would be able to do!!

Yeah no way could I nip or pop I could barely move

You’re saying “ kindly” but this isn’t particularly kind. Some people love the nesting process and are super excited.

Don’t buy one yet though oP as if you go to prenatal classes etc you will evolve your ideas there. But it’s fine to look.

I seemed to do quite a bit of popping ( out of pre pregnancy clothes).

None of my kids would lay flat in a pram, they hated it and screamed their heads off, might have been the lying flat combined with movement. All were fine flat in a cot or bassinet.
I used the car seat and wheels, just fine. We alternated between the car seat which tipped way back so they weren't sat upright, and being carried by one of us and sometimes the sling., from birth till they sat in the pushchair.

I lived in a first floor flat with stairs to the street and never had a problem, it’s only a pram!

We got a Cosatto travel system that had the ability to click the car seat into it (brilliant for that nip out for milk or whatever to the shops down the road in the rain) and a moses basket style one that clicked on so baby could lie flat. Eventually it then moved into a "pushchair" style by just angling it differently. It's lasted from day 1 til now, when she can walk and mostly wants to but occasionally she's tired or poorly and I need to dash round the shops quick (multiple, where a trolley won't work).

Much cheaper than the M&Ps versions, lightweight, lovely to manoeuvre and can handle the park.

Appreciate this may be true for some, but I did quite a lot of "nipping out" as we've got good shops not too far away, a very active dog (obviously not in the car seat on wheels for that), there was the docs appointments, baby groups etc. The baby groups and such, the car seat on wheels was really handy. Clicked in, wheeled her in, got her out for the group, popped her back in, back to the car (parking isn't great by ours so sometimes 10 mins walk from the car).