AIBU to be upset by Mamas & Papas Staff

[SammieJean]

The other day DH and I ordered a Doona Nitro car seat/stroller as it’s compact enough for me to manage by myself. It’s very early days, still first trimester, but we wanted to make the most of the brand having a sale.

Yesterday I was in Mamas & Papas for a look around and I got chatting to a woman who works there about items we’d bought/were thinking of. I mentioned that we’d just bought the Doona and she started talking about how dangerous that model would be for my baby - that I should instead buy one of their travel systems (keeping in mind these are over a grand!)

I guess I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset by this? I’m aware that my hormones are going crazy at the moment, and I’m a FTM so I have no idea what I’m doing.

But it felt very much like she was trying to scare me in order to make an expensive sale. It half worked — I’m very scared that the model we chose is going to harm the baby, but it didn’t make me want to buy anything from there!

There are light lie-flat pushchairs you can use from birth -- we lived up steps and I was recovering from a CS with no help and a travelling DH, so I needed something light and manageable. That's why half of London had a Bugaboo Bee in 2012. I'm sure there are many more options now.

There are other safer options than the Doona for that purpose.

I had two under 2 and I used to have a BabyJogger City Select and my God, it was the easiest, loveliest pram ever. I managed happily to manoeuvre a newborn and a 16m old in multiple different seating configurations at the touch of a button it was so easy. I would say look at a more modern travel system as you'll be better off than with the Doona.

Kindly; you’re so early on. Why are getting worked up over a pram? Blows my mind anyone buys stuff unless it’s essential, before baby is here safe and well. we’re only getting car seat and a Moses basket in advance

Thank you all for your advice guys! We do have a proper pram so the car seat/pram was never intended to be used as our only option (I also intend to baby wear a lot)

I expect the worker at Mamas and Papas meant well but it just came across as though she was trying to scare me into buying the one she was showing me (I was very polite to her but came away overthinking the interaction as I often do) x

There's no need to be quite so snippy

If you just need to pop to the shops etc - a baby sling makes a lot more sense. Wheels to push a car seat around.......... nah. Not massively useful sorry op.
I would invest in something you can fit in your car boot and also fit in your hallway as required that is genuinely useful.

I don't think the Doona is the safest infant car seat. I'd rather go for a better tested first-stage car seat that can work with a travel system, rather than using the Doona. Have a look at Car Seat Advice UK on Facebook - they have so much information and are very helpful.

Babies kept in car seats all day is one of the reasons so many young children have poor core stability and need input at school via sessions like BEAM.

I actually have a question about slings, I don’t know if you know the answer of not — do you know how long it’s safe for them to be in one? I know a car seat is only 30 minutes as they should be lying flat, are there similar constraints to a sling?

It depends on the type, but as long as it provides the right support and used safely, they can be in them all day. I used the Close Caboo which I really loved, as it was soft and and allowed the baby’s spine to remain curved in the newborn crunch whilst also providing good hip support.

Thank you! I’ll look into that one!

Nope.

My child's record is 5hrs 😂

The 30m thing isn't as written in stone as you might believe. The service from the NHS is often contradictory on this (central service says 30m, some Trusts say 2hrs) and the lullaby trust says 2hrs. If baby is premature or unwell then absolutely stick to it, but otherwise I think use your common sense. Many people have a journey home of more than 30m from the hospital.

Thank you! I didn’t even think about the journey home from the hospital, if they let us out during rush hour the journey will definitely take more than 30 minutes 😂

I had a bugaboo and managed by myself. Only ever used the car seat with it if getting in and out of the car for short trips (shopping for little amounts of food) and didn’t want to risk waking her. My bugaboo was a pita to put up as well (freebie)

Ive seen these in use and have always thought they don't look great from a safety POV. Very flimsy. They’re also very low to the ground and if you’re walking along a road the baby is at car exhaust level.

The baby won’t explode if it’s in a car seat for 30 mins, obviously the odd journey could go over and it’ll probably be fine. But the Doona doesn’t take that into consideration at all, a 10 min journey, then 10 mins there and 10 mins home again is already at the limit. People say ‘I’ll only use it for short trips’ are more likely to be meaning half an hour car, and hour and a half in a supermarket or whatever then 30 mins back again and that’s not great. I think they’re an awful invention that enables unsafe car seat usage. They weigh a ton too, which when baby is no longer a newborn, you’re really feel. They don’t even offer a great fit to a baby.

Your best bet would be a decent car seat- Avionaut Pixel pro is the best but the Cosmo is really good too, and there’s also Britax Babysafe Core and Britax Babysafe 5z2 which offer fab fits. Then if you’re worried about size, a second hand yo-yo would be good but big prams do fit plenty of places.

The 30 mins ‘rule’ is for the first few weeks and then it’s 2 hours. Baby’s airway doesn’t do well being squished and this goes for all car seats but if you’ve got a poor fit then it’ll be even more important to adhere to it.

I agree

My Joie carseat clipped onto my Joie pushchair and it was really handy to have that in a pinch - things like popping in for milk on the way back from baby class etc, I'd just lift the whole carrier out and click it onto the frame rather than waking my baby (he usually fell asleep in the car after classes). I think I probably only used it like that less than 10 times in total though! Find a lightweight pram that'll be a joy to use :)

Have a look to see if there is a sling library near you. That way you can try a few on with expert help to make sure the baby is positioned correctly. The right sling is amazing, but i did make a couple of expensive mistakes first, trying to guess what i needed.

Did you find that you preferred the fabric wraps, I’ve been looking into them and the look comfortable for mum and baby, but it would be great to hear opinions - all of this is so new to me, there’s so much to learn and try to get right

I started off with one of those fabric wraps but I had a big baby and an emergency section and it was never comfortable . I ended up with a much more structured one with padded straps in the end. I think until you have your little one it's hard to know what the right one for you is.

I was gifted a second hand doona despite having a safer car seat and a proper pram as well and I didn't think I'd use it - I do, it's absolutely fab for short trips! I also use a sling/carrier but my back is shot and I much prefer nipping to the shop with the doona which is very lightweight and handy. As long as they aren't in it all day, you're fine. Don't worry