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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Humiliated by John Lewis staff

578 replies

FTMaz · 01/05/2024 21:53

Hi
okay so I know this will seem very trivial to some but it is playing on my mind because I think I am a very reasonable and polite person and feel I was humiliated for absolutely no reason.

so I bought a jumper from a John Lewis store (Sweaty Beaty brand). The jumper was in the sale for £65. I wore it once and washed it according to the instructions. I put it on yesterday and my Mum commented that it had faded, the jumper is beige but I noticed it had a big white patch where the colour had seemingly ran out of it on the front. As I know John Lewis is known for their customer service I decided I would take it to the store to see if they would offer an exchange, I still had the receipt showing it had been purchased recently.

I went to the womenswear till but the queue was massive (I had my 12 week old baby with me) so I went to a till near the shoes. The girl serving must have been about 17/18. I explained to her what had happened and said I wasn’t sure if I could swap it but thought it was worth an ask. The girl was very polite but said she needed to check with a colleague, fine not a problem. She returned with a colleague who didn’t even acknowledge me. At this point there was a now a queue at the till. They both turned away from me and girl number 2 started whispering and inspecting the jumper. This probably went on for about 10 minutes. Girl number 1 then turned back to me and said something to the effect of I’m really sorry but I need to check with a manager…I assumed girl 2 was a manager but again I said okay. She then called someone on the phone. I continued to wait and at this point my baby started to cry, girl number 1 obviously feeling uncomfortable called again and apologised, again fine as not her fault that baby is crying or that manager is taking a long time. So eventually the manager turns up and calls me ‘sweetheart’ okay a term of endearment but I am a 34 year old professional so odd of her to do. Anyway…she inspects the jumper and says she can’t see the white patch, I said to her I couldn’t either until I went into natural light and my Mum pointed it out. At this point I am starting to feel agitated and embarrassed as there is a queue, my baby is crying and I am basically being told I’m making things up so I say ‘don’t worry about it for the sake of £60 I’ll just have the jumper back,’ she then says to go with her outside the store to natural light to show her the patch…seriously? I reply no it’s fine I’m not dragging my baby outside I’ll just have the jumper back. Again she insists I go outside with her and I again say it’s fine I’ll have the jumper back. She then turns to girl number 1 and says ‘you’ll come with me outside to look won’t you’ so they both then walk off and leave me at the till with my now screaming baby. Sometime later they return with ANOTHER member of staff, so now 4 people have looked at this bloody jumper! The manager says they all agree there is nothing wrong with it. Now I am quite frankly pissed off and humiliated and say ‘ I told you I would take the jumper back but instead I have been standing here whilst 4 people inspect it, I didn’t demand a refund I simply asked if it was possible to do anything such as an exchange.’ She replies there’s nothing wrong with it. So I say (probably wrongly so but I’d had enough) ‘if you go on my account you will see how much money I spend in this store, do you seriously think I would make things up to get back £60?’ She replies again there is nothing wrong with it.

for context I worked in retail for years both before starting university, during and after (the irony is I actually also worked in that John Lewis 😂) I get that it can sometimes be shit and people are rude but I was honestly lovely and feel I was humiliated and spoken to like an idiot.

However I am also overly tired from the sleepless nights….so AIBU to wait to complain to the store?

OP posts:
shenandoahvalley · 02/05/2024 14:48

There is a certain type of woman who is very protective of her rights (to not feel embarrassed, to not feel humiliated, to maintain face with complete strangers, to not have her world anything other than just the way she likes it), who feels entitled (why weren't taller people helping me reach something? what's wrong with them? why were the retail assistants questioning me?), and very good at pointing fingers at others if they so much as breathe a word that could jeopardise their right to any of the above.

These same women also, funnily, never seem able to look at themselves with a critical eye. They are perfection, or close to. All big eyes, what did I do wrong, I'm a mother with a baby don't you know, gleefully agreeing with their ilk and ignoring anyone who applies any reason or logic.

What a load of fuss and nonsense over absolutely nothing. It's actually upsetting the things people choose to spend their energy on.

SammyScrounge · 02/05/2024 14:49

PrincessFionaCharming · 01/05/2024 22:01

”for the sake of £60…”

is it just me who thinks that’s actually quite a lot 😶

It is quite a lot to lose. OP you should have had an.exchange.or a refund and the faulty jumper sent to be tested.by John Lewis. After all, if there is a fault in the dyeing it will show up in all the jumpers they sell.
Customer Service was.very poor too. You must have felt ganged up on by four of them around you insisting there was.no fault when you explained the circumstances in which it could be seen. The crying baby should have made the assistants want to finish this.quickly. Instead they wanted to make it worse by trailing you out into the centre and outside that to natural light.
I most certainly would complain and I would close my account too. There are places which have regard for their customers.

GinAndJuice99 · 02/05/2024 14:58

They obviously should have given it to you when you asked for it back. It was yours after all.

Gettingbysomehow · 02/05/2024 14:58

bridgetreilly · 01/05/2024 21:57

I think it was honestly all in your head.

Of course it was because we all know that women are hysterical and hormonal all of the time and unable to be rational 🙄

Teacupsandrollups · 02/05/2024 15:12

Gettingbysomehow · 02/05/2024 14:58

Of course it was because we all know that women are hysterical and hormonal all of the time and unable to be rational 🙄

And your post is completely rational, @Gettingbysomehow
Not.

HarrietPierce · 02/05/2024 15:21

Some posters on this thread are batshit and I don't mean the OP.

Wimbledonmum1985 · 02/05/2024 15:27

What a load of hyperbole and exaggerated nonsense OP. It’s probably nothing more than baby sick on the top. Wash it again and it’ll be fine.

eggandonion · 02/05/2024 15:28

40 Years retail experience....if I had a customer with a crying baby and a complicated query I would try and find a quiet corner for her to sit and feed -breast or bottle- whilst looking into the issue.
I live in a country with no John Lewis. They were always brilliant and Im sorry to hear that they are less professional now in terms of customer service.

FTMaz · 02/05/2024 15:35

I realise this is now an incredibly long thread. I don’t want those being helpful to think I am ignoring them, I said a few pages back I won’t be responding anymore as if nothing else this thread has made me realise how crazy some people are and the lengths people go to online in an attempt to make others feel bad. Very strange.

OP posts:
Wotcher · 02/05/2024 15:39

Is it just me wondering why anyone would want to buy clothes from a brand called Sweaty Betty?? 🙈

RedHelenB · 02/05/2024 15:45

MissingMoominMamma · 01/05/2024 21:57

I think you should write to their customer services and tell them what an uncomfortable experience it was for you in their store!

Why though? They couldn't see the supposed mark and did everything they could to try to. OP is the unreasonable one, Why not go outside with them and point it out?

StarlightLime · 02/05/2024 15:47

RedHelenB · 02/05/2024 15:45

Why though? They couldn't see the supposed mark and did everything they could to try to. OP is the unreasonable one, Why not go outside with them and point it out?

She had a baby to drag carry...

Blanketpolicy · 02/05/2024 15:51

YABU to expect them to refund/exchange a worn/washed items where the problem is not visible to 3 other people, and even though it took some time they did try their best to see the issue you had.

I personally would not feel "humiliated" by their attempts to identify the issue, even it it took what probably felt like an eternity because of your baby crying.

I still find John Lewis a good store and never had problems with any returns.

Perhaps go back when you don't have a baby to contend with.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 02/05/2024 15:52

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 14:23

Yes I clearly am lacking the boob unpacking proficiencies of the stand in the queue feeders! I think I’d have had those breast pad things firing over the floor and my butt would have been waving in the face of the person behind as I leant forward to latch the baby on. They probably thought the white stain was a milk leak🤣

To be honest if it was me there is a good chance that it would have been a milk leak (or baby sick up)

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 02/05/2024 15:56

Did I read it correctly, 4 members of staff could not see / find the ' fading ' and/or ' white mark '

on an item the Op had worn and washed.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 02/05/2024 15:58

MissingMoominMamma · 01/05/2024 21:57

I think you should write to their customer services and tell them what an uncomfortable experience it was for you in their store!

This. 👆. Unacceptable performance from a luxury store.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 02/05/2024 16:01

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 01/05/2024 22:10

You told them there's a white patch.

They couldn't see it.

You then told them it isn't visible unless in natural light.

Yet when they offered to look at it in natural light you refused.

You also say you were lovely, which you were not.

The amount of money you might spend in that store doesn't matter whatsoever.

YABU.

If you really spend so much money there and you wouldn't 'make such a fuss over £60' then just go and bloody buy another one instead of wasting so many people's time.

No, just No!

Chimpandcheese · 02/05/2024 16:03

I had a similar experience many years ago with M&S; a T-shirt that had only been worn and washed a couple of times stated coming apart at a seam. Clearly had not been stitched properly. But the assistant and her supervisor implied that I had done it myself! I asked why they thought I would do that just to exchange it for another, given the time and inconvenience involved but they just hugged and puffed and refused. I couldn’t be bothered taking to any further. But rightly or wrongly I too felt humiliated. Maybe our personalities OP?

Lorelaigilless · 02/05/2024 16:08

bridgetreilly · 01/05/2024 21:57

I think it was honestly all in your head.

Yeah I agree with this. Very strange.

Nanny0gg · 02/05/2024 16:24

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:06

If you weren't willing to let the staff look at the jumper in daylight how on earth did you think they could judge a fault or not?

And you don't even seem sure yourself if the fault was there- it was your Mum who saw it. maybe your Mum ought to have taken it back.

You surely realise that shops are constantly being asked for refunds with garments that have been worn or washed incorrectly. They need to make checks. Not just hand over a refund.

You gave up on it not because of them wanting to take it to daylight but because your 'case' was weak.

I think you felt stupid because they queried the colour fading, spotted only by your Mum, so you walked away, and now try to gaslight the staff.

They didn't humiliate you at all.

You felt silly because they wanted to give the 'fault' due care and attention which took more of your time than you anticipated.

They were polite and went to great lengths to try to come to a solution.

Maybe because of the role you have in education you expect people in shops to do what you want, without question.

Edited

You and I have different expectations/understanding of 'polite' because I don't think they were.

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 16:26

Surely, the most obvious thing to have done was for the shop assts to have taken the jumper to the window and looked at it . The OP didn't need to go as well?

She clearly told them where the fading was supposed to be (on the front or wherever) so she didn't need to accompany them to daylight. They'd have been able to look at it!

I'd have said 'I'm happy for you to take it to daylight but you'll understand it's a trek with my baby so we'll stay her ' (and even 'I'll go to the parent's room to feed her and be back when you have made a decision.')

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 16:28

@Nanny0gg so what exactly was impolite? They found 4 assts to try to help the OP. There is nothing in her posts that suggest they were rude. Quite the opposite.

I'd love you to pick out what you think is rude.

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 16:30

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 16:28

@Nanny0gg so what exactly was impolite? They found 4 assts to try to help the OP. There is nothing in her posts that suggest they were rude. Quite the opposite.

I'd love you to pick out what you think is rude.

Wow Hollys this thread has totally captured your imagination: you are really reliving this whole thing! I’m sure you’ve spent more hours discussing it than the event took to unfold! And that’s with all the faffing about for a manager included …

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 16:31

… you don’t work at John Lewis do you?

Valeriekat · 02/05/2024 16:31

bridgetreilly · 01/05/2024 21:57

I think it was honestly all in your head.

We're you there?
Everyone knows that JLP are now awful.
Why be so unpleasant!

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