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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Humiliated by John Lewis staff

578 replies

FTMaz · 01/05/2024 21:53

Hi
okay so I know this will seem very trivial to some but it is playing on my mind because I think I am a very reasonable and polite person and feel I was humiliated for absolutely no reason.

so I bought a jumper from a John Lewis store (Sweaty Beaty brand). The jumper was in the sale for £65. I wore it once and washed it according to the instructions. I put it on yesterday and my Mum commented that it had faded, the jumper is beige but I noticed it had a big white patch where the colour had seemingly ran out of it on the front. As I know John Lewis is known for their customer service I decided I would take it to the store to see if they would offer an exchange, I still had the receipt showing it had been purchased recently.

I went to the womenswear till but the queue was massive (I had my 12 week old baby with me) so I went to a till near the shoes. The girl serving must have been about 17/18. I explained to her what had happened and said I wasn’t sure if I could swap it but thought it was worth an ask. The girl was very polite but said she needed to check with a colleague, fine not a problem. She returned with a colleague who didn’t even acknowledge me. At this point there was a now a queue at the till. They both turned away from me and girl number 2 started whispering and inspecting the jumper. This probably went on for about 10 minutes. Girl number 1 then turned back to me and said something to the effect of I’m really sorry but I need to check with a manager…I assumed girl 2 was a manager but again I said okay. She then called someone on the phone. I continued to wait and at this point my baby started to cry, girl number 1 obviously feeling uncomfortable called again and apologised, again fine as not her fault that baby is crying or that manager is taking a long time. So eventually the manager turns up and calls me ‘sweetheart’ okay a term of endearment but I am a 34 year old professional so odd of her to do. Anyway…she inspects the jumper and says she can’t see the white patch, I said to her I couldn’t either until I went into natural light and my Mum pointed it out. At this point I am starting to feel agitated and embarrassed as there is a queue, my baby is crying and I am basically being told I’m making things up so I say ‘don’t worry about it for the sake of £60 I’ll just have the jumper back,’ she then says to go with her outside the store to natural light to show her the patch…seriously? I reply no it’s fine I’m not dragging my baby outside I’ll just have the jumper back. Again she insists I go outside with her and I again say it’s fine I’ll have the jumper back. She then turns to girl number 1 and says ‘you’ll come with me outside to look won’t you’ so they both then walk off and leave me at the till with my now screaming baby. Sometime later they return with ANOTHER member of staff, so now 4 people have looked at this bloody jumper! The manager says they all agree there is nothing wrong with it. Now I am quite frankly pissed off and humiliated and say ‘ I told you I would take the jumper back but instead I have been standing here whilst 4 people inspect it, I didn’t demand a refund I simply asked if it was possible to do anything such as an exchange.’ She replies there’s nothing wrong with it. So I say (probably wrongly so but I’d had enough) ‘if you go on my account you will see how much money I spend in this store, do you seriously think I would make things up to get back £60?’ She replies again there is nothing wrong with it.

for context I worked in retail for years both before starting university, during and after (the irony is I actually also worked in that John Lewis 😂) I get that it can sometimes be shit and people are rude but I was honestly lovely and feel I was humiliated and spoken to like an idiot.

However I am also overly tired from the sleepless nights….so AIBU to wait to complain to the store?

OP posts:
LostInTheBog · 02/05/2024 13:02

OP, given the length of the thread, I’m not sure if you’re even reading now. I had meant to reply much sooner this morning. I don’t have a baby, but your experience resonates so much with me. I think it wasn’t just one single thing that made you feel bad about this encounter at John Lewis but maybe a number of individual things that made the entire experience feel very negative. I personally would have lost it at ‘sweetheart’.
Anyway, please don’t give it another thought. It was a one-off and it’s just the way the cookie crumbled. Had you gone in at another time or another day things might have turned out differently.

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:06

If you weren't willing to let the staff look at the jumper in daylight how on earth did you think they could judge a fault or not?

And you don't even seem sure yourself if the fault was there- it was your Mum who saw it. maybe your Mum ought to have taken it back.

You surely realise that shops are constantly being asked for refunds with garments that have been worn or washed incorrectly. They need to make checks. Not just hand over a refund.

You gave up on it not because of them wanting to take it to daylight but because your 'case' was weak.

I think you felt stupid because they queried the colour fading, spotted only by your Mum, so you walked away, and now try to gaslight the staff.

They didn't humiliate you at all.

You felt silly because they wanted to give the 'fault' due care and attention which took more of your time than you anticipated.

They were polite and went to great lengths to try to come to a solution.

Maybe because of the role you have in education you expect people in shops to do what you want, without question.

Thatsalotnora · 02/05/2024 13:08

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/05/2024 22:04

Why didn't you go to the customer service desk rather than a till?

Maybe missing the point

OP, the item does not appear to have had an obvious fault. If you wanted to return it for being faulty, they do have to actually establish if it has a fault.

PaterPower · 02/05/2024 13:08

It’s very poor service. Whether the spot existed or not, they shouldn’t have needed to drag it out like that.

It sounds to me like they’d stopped actually listening to you at the point the whole “go outside to look” thing was first raised.

SnowBall86 · 02/05/2024 13:09

Really Op… practice unbotheredness…

eggplant16 · 02/05/2024 13:13

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 02/05/2024 10:16

But that’s their T&C when you buy with them, on their website.

Maybe a smaller independent merchandiser would allow this but if every shop did then they’d be out of pocket.

I’ve done the same as you but I’d never take an out of date item and receipt back for a refund as I know it’s just taking the piss.

How very ruude you are. I didn't know the policy has changed. I have never in my life sought to " take the piss".

I was reflecting on the changes to customer service and shopping in general.

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:15

PaterPower · 02/05/2024 13:08

It’s very poor service. Whether the spot existed or not, they shouldn’t have needed to drag it out like that.

It sounds to me like they’d stopped actually listening to you at the point the whole “go outside to look” thing was first raised.

How is taking a faded garment into daylight 'dragging it out'?

It's very GOOD service to establish a fault because in some cases there would be a product recall.

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 13:15

I think the truth is we all feel slightly less authoritative when we are new mums.

I can picture OP standing with her faded top and a crying baby and I remember feeling so different ( and a bit vulnerable) in those early days with breast pads shoved in my bra vis a vis being sharply suited and booted, with immaculate waistline and no leaky boobs, popping in between meetings with a fabulous handbag in lieu of a bulging nappy bag ( can they smell that nappy or is it just because I know??) before I had dcs. You do feel rather more shambolic with little ones in tow and I suspect some of the feeling of humiliation stems from that change of persona. But you’ll get there OP : we soon learn we are super human as mums and worth a dozen of our former ( albeit rather slick) selves!

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:16

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 13:15

I think the truth is we all feel slightly less authoritative when we are new mums.

I can picture OP standing with her faded top and a crying baby and I remember feeling so different ( and a bit vulnerable) in those early days with breast pads shoved in my bra vis a vis being sharply suited and booted, with immaculate waistline and no leaky boobs, popping in between meetings with a fabulous handbag in lieu of a bulging nappy bag ( can they smell that nappy or is it just because I know??) before I had dcs. You do feel rather more shambolic with little ones in tow and I suspect some of the feeling of humiliation stems from that change of persona. But you’ll get there OP : we soon learn we are super human as mums and worth a dozen of our former ( albeit rather slick) selves!

Maybe that's where the 'sweetheart' comment came from in that she looked knackered and had a baby with her?

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 02/05/2024 13:27

soupfiend · 01/05/2024 21:58

If Im honest I dont understand why you didnt go outside and show it to her

To say you werent going to go and 'drag your baby outside' didnt make any sense, you were presumably going to leave the store at some point werent you?

This. I get it was stressful but you came across like you were not being truthful. I know you were. I am not questioning that but that is how you kind of behaved

CoffeeCantata · 02/05/2024 13:30

I would go back, on your own if you can, once you feel a bit more in control and ask to speak to someone about the way you were treated.

I once took my husband out to a popular local cafe for a treat after he'd come through illness and depression - the idea was to cheer him up! Due to the cafe's own error (having the wrong menus (Breakfast, not lunch etc) still out, and a horrendously rude man who should never have had a public-facing role anywhere) we got shouted at when we finally reached the front of the queue for not immediately having our order ready.

What made it worse was that (although this wasn't our mistake) my lovely husband turned to the man behind him and apologised for the delay, only to told to 'fucking hurry up then'.

I was incandescent with rage, especially as the trip had been meant to cheer him up. I went back to the cafe the next day and had a long session with the manager, which at least made me feel better - and the important thing was, by then I was calm, in control and had all my ducks in a row.

(Cafe changed hands a couple of months later btw - lots of bad reviews mentioning the bullying member of staff, so I felt vindicated.)

ScribblingPixie · 02/05/2024 13:33

I don't see this as a John Lewis issue but a Sweaty Betty issue. In your situation I would have emailed them direct with a pic of the jumper and my receipt.
The amount of time and fuss the staff spent on the jumper makes me think they are under a certain amount of pressure about offering refunds, and would have to justify their decision.

ssd · 02/05/2024 13:35

Sweaty betty wont do a thing if it was bought in john Lewis.

onwardsup4 · 02/05/2024 13:43

52fifty · 01/05/2024 22:12

I do think your sleep deprivation made you more sensitive but if it makes you feel better, op, I'll tell you my most wtaf return I ever made.

I bought 2 sizes of jeans online from zara, kept the size that fit and went in store to return the others, not even tried on and still in the box wrapped in their tissue paper.... Queued up in their huge queues.... Get to the front, hand the woman the box and say I need to return etc... She made a big deal of unpacking them and then smelt the crotch?! I was mortified and actually asked wtf. Utterly mental

Haha! I have heard that people that deal with returns have to smell the crotch but to actually do it in store in front of the customer yes mental

Ozanj · 02/05/2024 13:43

This is why I don’t buy anything in store any more. Returns are a lot easier for online purchases

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:45

If the OP has the senior role in a school she says, it's surprising she is so 'humiliated' by this experience.

I know that sleepless nights take their toll...but 'humiliated' is a bit strong.

RedQuail · 02/05/2024 13:50

I think if you show us the jumper we would have some idea...

However despite being a pain and with a baby in tow I can see why you wouldn't want to go out of the shopping centre but to prove a point I would have done. Actually if it was me I wouldn't have gone in store at all I would have took pictures and sent it to head office along with a complaint, I bet they would have then done something about it, even if it was good will voucher.

TheLongWay · 02/05/2024 13:59

Hollysberries · 02/05/2024 13:45

If the OP has the senior role in a school she says, it's surprising she is so 'humiliated' by this experience.

I know that sleepless nights take their toll...but 'humiliated' is a bit strong.

My thoughts exactly. She goes on about having a degree and being a 'professional', yet her behaviour seems waaaay over the top and ridiculous. She's throwing an adult strop simply because the store staff, quite rightly, wanted to see the defect that she went in to complain about.

Retailers are losing £££ due to people taking the p*ss with returns.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 02/05/2024 13:59

DappledThings · 02/05/2024 11:06

Don't be silly. It doesn't make me in any way superior to you and I haven't suggested it does. If that's your take on my suggestion that's on you.

I generally went for the one up, one under layering of clothes and never had to get a boob out. Nothing special about that.

In all honestly I think that would be challenging: I use nipple shields which would be very challenging to get on in this situation but even without I would find it difficult

Moanycowbag · 02/05/2024 13:59

19 pages and yet no picture, sorry OP but if it could only be seen it daylight it was not unreasonable of the staff to take out into daylight to see the fault.

Crazycrazylady · 02/05/2024 14:19

To be fair op. I think rocking up to the counter with a mark that you knew they wouldn't be able to see without either a picture or b the willingness to go outside with them to show them said mark was always a bit ambitious .

graceinspace999 · 02/05/2024 14:21

I think this thread has turned into a bullying pile-on.

I think OP was having a bad day and the staff were definitely rude.

There’ll be better days OP
Best wishes to you

Calliopespa · 02/05/2024 14:23

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 02/05/2024 13:59

In all honestly I think that would be challenging: I use nipple shields which would be very challenging to get on in this situation but even without I would find it difficult

Yes I clearly am lacking the boob unpacking proficiencies of the stand in the queue feeders! I think I’d have had those breast pad things firing over the floor and my butt would have been waving in the face of the person behind as I leant forward to latch the baby on. They probably thought the white stain was a milk leak🤣

Newestname002 · 02/05/2024 14:45

PrincessFionaCharming · 01/05/2024 22:01

”for the sake of £60…”

is it just me who thinks that’s actually quite a lot 😶

It IS quite a lot - and a decent percentage of my energy bills, monthly grocery shopping, etc...

I've recently been reading that the service levels at John Lewis have really gone downhill - and this seems to be an example. I think the John Lewis of old would just have let you exchange the sweater (even if they muttered about you once you'd gone)...

I'll soon be replacing some of my appliances (fridge freezer, washing machine, tumble dryer etc) all of which I bought at John Lewis year ago, and OP's post gives me no confidence about parting with my hard earned cash to them. 🌹

HaveYouSeenMySerotonin · 02/05/2024 14:45

Greywhippet · 01/05/2024 22:32

You’re coming off a bit Sheila Birling to be honest. Huffing on about deserving good treatment because of the £££ you spend in JL. Given that it would likely take these workers 6 hours work to buy a £60 jumper and that they all sound as though they were trying their best to help, I reckon you should get over it.
Alternatively , make a complaint and maybe get them all sacked or put on a warning if that will make you feel better

As an English teacher I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this comment.

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