Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If money was no object would you leave?

135 replies

Springtime111 · 01/05/2024 11:12

DH and I were discussing a couple we know who are not very happily married. Of course, we don't know the intricacies, and they 'jog along' but chatting between us we wondered if they stay more for the nice house/business etc, as don't really seem to like each other very much from things they say to us, and regularly threatening to leave (but never do)

It got me wondering how many people would actually leave their spouse if they came into a large sum of money so there's no financial difficulties to encounter going it alone. I'm guessing a lot.

Would you?

OP posts:
HappyToSmile · 01/05/2024 21:13

Yes, I think I would have left. I didn't because I didn't think I could cope, financially or practically. In the end, he cheated on me and left and I've managed ok and am 100% happier.

TubeScreamer · 01/05/2024 22:31

Yes, but it’s just too complicated and I worry about money. I grew up in a house where we never had enough money and I don’t want to live like that again.

MrsSunshine2b · 13/09/2024 11:54

No, I wouldn't.

However, I think you should also factor in how many couples could be happier if money wasn't an object. If you had a nice big house, a cleaner, a chef, a nanny, plenty of money and time to pursue your hobbies and interests, none of the stresses of work. My husband and I don't often argue but when we do it's only ever because we're exhausted with the daily grind of maintaining a house and working all the time. If we could spend our days skipping along a sunny beach with DD4 and then coming home to a spotless house and dinner on the table, I cannot see why we'd ever squabble.

MyNDfamily · 14/09/2024 21:24

Springtime111 · 01/05/2024 11:18

I wonder if a lot stay in unhappy, unfullfilling marriages because of the fear of going it alone financially. Some probably simply can't afford to go. Sad that money dictates lives really and people are forced to stay and be miserable.

I stay for my children. Financially it would be very tough and I won't put my kids through that. When all children are old enough I'll leave. If I came into money it wouldn't be so hard, so I'd leave, yes.

GivingitToGod · 16/09/2024 22:40

HampdenRadius · 01/05/2024 13:41

Is it really such a bad reason to stay together? If you rub along fine, like one another, are friends, and there’s a bit of affection and intimacy occasionally, is staying together because if affords you an easier, more comfortable lifestyle, a bad thing?

My thoughts exactly and that of several friends also

GivingitToGod · 16/09/2024 22:42

NonPlayerCharacter · 01/05/2024 14:24

Although I count myself among the ones who wouldn't leave (and financially I could; I'd have to make some changes but I wouldn't be destitute), I do think it's easier to imagine the reality of poverty and say you'd do it, than to actually do it. Having no money is one of those things that you really can't understand unless you've been through it, and it's easy to imagine that it's not as dreadful and constantly anxiety-inducing as it is. People have been known to take their own lives over unmanageable debts and money troubles. Money is the thing couples argue about the most.

So true

OldScribbler · 27/11/2024 14:25

Springtime111 · 01/05/2024 11:18

I wonder if a lot stay in unhappy, unfullfilling marriages because of the fear of going it alone financially. Some probably simply can't afford to go. Sad that money dictates lives really and people are forced to stay and be miserable.

Two people I know well detest each other. Their daughter actually said to one of them "Why not leave?"

The answer? He can't afford to.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/11/2024 14:29

No but I am not married and deliberately so because I don’t ever want my finances enmeshed with someone else’s again.

We do share a mortgage but this is contractually ringfenced.

I have no plans to leave my partner at the moment but I want the freedom to know I could without having to split everything down the middle.

ForRealTurtle · 27/11/2024 14:30

No

KimFan · 27/11/2024 14:40

If I wasn't happy, I'd end my marriage regardless of financial circumstances. Luckily for me, my husband the best! :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page