If money was no object would you leave?

[Springtime111]

DH and I were discussing a couple we know who are not very happily married. Of course, we don't know the intricacies, and they 'jog along' but chatting between us we wondered if they stay more for the nice house/business etc, as don't really seem to like each other very much from things they say to us, and regularly threatening to leave (but never do)

It got me wondering how many people would actually leave their spouse if they came into a large sum of money so there's no financial difficulties to encounter going it alone. I'm guessing a lot.

Would you?

Well it's slightly more relevant then! Your marriage has gone stale and you're not expecially happy, you suddenly come into money which would enable you to set up by yourself, would you leave?

All I'm trying to say is the posters piping up, 'No, I love my husband to bits, I'd never leave, Id share it all with him,' well, it's a bit pointless in the context of the OP.

The OP seemed to be opening up a discussion about how many people stay in unhappy marriages because they can't afford to leave, not how many people are unhappy vs happy.

Yes straight away. I don’t even want a “nice” house, any would do.

Yes and my OH is staying because of our child. I'm under no illusions. It's really quite sad. Although I've considered and said about leaving many times. He doesn't want to. Would make it easier if I didn't need to worry about money. Unfortunately not everything is so clean cut.

Well it's slightly more relevant then! Your marriage has gone stale and you're not expecially happy, you suddenly come into money which would enable you to set up by yourself, would you leave my marriage is happy but the op said It got me wondering how many people would actually leave their spouse if they came into a large sum of money so there's no financial difficulties to encounter going it alone. I'm guessing a lot People replied sharing their own expierences.
It's good to see a lot of positive relationship stories to be honest.

Absolutely I would leave in a heartbeat.

But if your marriage broke down ? I think that's what the question is.

No. I'd leave if I was unhappy regardless of the money.

Probably but I just try to ensure he’s in the garden for most of the day.

Lol

I was thinking 'oh she sounds like poor Mrs Collins' and then I clocked the username.

Absolutely not. I am still head over heels in love with him, even after all these years.

Yes, I would. We live in London and although earn the same, I would only just be able to rent a one bed flat on my wage, definitely couldn't afford to buy a two bed place. To be fair, he's only staying because we have a child together and he doesn't want to live apart from him. It ain't great but it is what it is.

@Nightscroller1 Just seen your comment. Can't believe someone else is in same boat. You have my sympathies.

...so surely all opinions matter, to get a more balanced idea of how many would stay and who would go, otherwise there is nothing to compare?

But if you're okay with your marriage then you're not going to be looking to leave?! So any money would be a nice bonus, not a means of escape.

notacooldad I didn't mean your marriage in particular. I was giving an example.

notacooldadI didn't mean your marriage in particular. I was giving an example
Ah, OK. I took the statement as a question!

A large sum of money came to me not long ago. I wouldn't dream of leaving my husband. It hasn't been plain sailing the whole time, but I would not want to share my life with anyone else. The money went into the family pot, and then we decided together what to do with it. I would fight tooth and nail for my marriage and I'm pretty confident my husband feels the same, otherwise he'd have left me during those stormy days.

Yes I think it is fairly common for couples to stay together to keep their home, family and lifestyle at the financial level they are used to.

I am happy (second marriage) and if I won the lottery, I'd be very excited for all of the adventures I could share with my husband.

I think it is worth reflecting that you do have an element of financial privilege if you are able to say that financial issues would not be a barrier to you leaving a relationship. For lots of women they really are. I know of a couple that have split but are still cohabiting unhappily because affording two separate homes will be so expensive.

No definitely not. If I wasnt happy I couldn't stay. The last time I left an unhappy relationship I had no money, no job and nowhere to live. So I'd take the money and enjoy spending it with DH.

If I came into a lot of money I’d buy us 2 houses next to one another. I think that would be perfect for our marriage.

and water is wet.

we sadly do not emphasize strongly enough to young people that entering into a relationship isn’t mandatory. Having a financial exit plan should be a prerequisite to living together in the first place.

how often do we see posters on here suggesting young adults move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend to save money. This is especially true if there is an unexpected pregnancy. It is utter madness. Once you are in that house together without any money left, you are trapped.

No parent would inflict being actually "poverty-stricken" on their child/children if you knew what it could entail and the wider implications.

Those who stay in bad marriages are probably well aware of this and would do anything to avoid a return to that situation. They don't lack your principles, however they understand that you can't put independence, pride or personal dignity in the pre-pay meter.

This is me! Things aren’t terrible aren’t great either 3dc two business that we run from home. It would be impossible for either of us to leave due to DC/ finances / business. We get on okay but are definitely more roommates than hubby / wife. Makes me sad as we genuinely were so happy I do love him definitely don’t hate him but if I won the lotto I think we’d both agree to spilt and we’d both be happier.

Maybe. It would definitely alleviate feeling "trapped" & not having many options.

No because any tension in our marriage would be solved by the large sum of money anyway... we'd just be out doing fun things together and not having to worry
Majority of arguments we've had could've been solved with money. It's the biggest source of stress isn't it?
Saying that, getting thru that type of stress together can make a relationship stronger.
You see some of these celebrity couples with incredible wealth from the get go, just splitting up in a matter of months etc
I think it's different if you've been thru difficult financial times together and come out of the other side. Deepens the bond and the trust.
I wouldn't just swan off and leave the man whose supported me thru so much and vice versa... we'd be enjoying the money together.