The trend of putting the boot in to the OP

[ZippyPinkUser]

I’ve seen it here a lot more recently, there will be a post where you can tell someone is genuinely struggling and 95% will be decent well intentioned responses and then bam someone comes along and seemingly goes out of their way to be unkind to the Op.

anyone else here think they’ve been seeing that a lot more lately

I'd love to come on and post how me and my husband are trying to conceive but we've been using the withdrawal method and I haven't got pregnant yet. Aibu to think I might have some fertility issues?

misses point

Me or the poster who called me a freak?

Oh trust me, men are just as capable!!

I remember posting on here when I first joined about 15yrs ago and asking a very long post about my then partner. I got told without ceremony he was a using manchild and I needed to LTB. I, ridiculously now looking back, thought that if I kept explaining his behaviour they'd see what I saw and change their minds....Oh boy! I felt broken at the time and think I was even reported as a troll - new email now thankfully - so the thread is gone but that was actually the best advice I could have had. It was brutal but very honest, direct, explanatory and made it very hard not to see his behaviour for what it was. It wasn't at all what I was expecting but I've never forgotten how it lifted the veil.

I also had great advice when I posted about DC and the birth certificate. The advice I've had on here has saved my bacon and changed my life in ways I would never have imagined when I asked. I love when people explain their positions and you suddenly see a whole new perspective. It's what this site does best.

It's actually not that easy to get a thread deleted - or it hasn't been for me. I started an ill-advised thread (I don't post threads normally - I am not up for the abuse!) and they wouldn't delete it. They put it on 30 days only, changed the username so it wouldn't link to my posts, and deleted a potentially identifying post on the thread. Still wouldn't delete the whole post!

Whilst I don't agree with you (respectfully) 100% about people putting the boot in, you have to realise you are opening yourself up to all sorts when you post on a public forum! Things get so easily lost in translation. Before i post anything i always think of the saying "if you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen". Personally, I don't care if you put the boot in - I don't know you, you are no-one to me and I'll move on and forget about you in an hour. But, some people, don't have my attitude & they are terribly concerned by other peoples opinions and thoughts!

People seem to think they're in some sort of private members' club!

I’m seeing it a lot at the moment. I’ve been on mumsnet since my youngest was little, and she’s 22 (a few completely different accounts due to data leaks) so I’ve seen some things. It’s horrible now

I’m seeing it more on local Facebook groups too, only on there, it’s mostly men, trying to outdo each other in being sarcastic/hilarious when people are looking for help (it never IS actually hilarious, by the way. I pity their families)

I don’t know why though

Yeah the lovely poster who called you a freak. Its been deleted now which doesn't surprise me I've seen a few of their comments deleted on different posts just in the last 24 hours. Argumentative and boring!!

Ditto. It is different now.
Reading through chat would be a rollercoaster. One thread would be side splitting, the next would be heartbreaking. There was a lot of very genuine support.
There were posters who were known to be blunt and the occasional troll and fantasist. But the guaranteed nastiness on every thread was not a feature. Nor was the misreading of the OP and then everyone seizing on the misinterpretation as if it was the truth - that is really bizarre.

Since yesterday ive been called selfish/ ignorant /how would i feel if my child dies/idiot/stupid/ and so on.
Women on MN can be just as abusive with words just like men are.

What on earth have you been posting?! Because I've been here over ten years and never had any of those said to me, although I've seen most of them of course. To get all in 24 hours is almost impressive.

Because i said ive never been vaccinated neither have my adult children.
only ever had the baby jabs.
Its like no one can have their own opinion on anything.
And my grammar that gets picked at aswell.

Yeah I advanced searched you. I actually think it's a fair enough point. I vaccinate my children, follow safe sleep guidelines, strap them into car seats etc at least in part because I couldn't live with myself if they died from something I could have prevented.

I've no time for anti vaxxers who never have a clue about science or medicine and just benefit from everyone else vaccinating and wiping out/hugely reducing contagious illnesses.

Well thats just it im not an anti vaxxer.
I never had jabs one when i was about 4 thats all i remember.
My 2 children had their baby jabs and some were done at primary school.

Maybe, but as a bloke who's posted threads on here since 2014 it's happened to me too.

That’s not unvaxxed then is it? That’s partially vaxxed, or vaccinated just not MMR.

MN is full of bullies and fakes its got to the point now its funny.
Men this men that but yet half of the women on here are worse than men its like they tell on their selfs.

I hate the way an OP will be asking a specific question, and instead of addressing that, PPs will pick up on something else in the post (a slightly outdated term which they claim to be offended by, a comment which they interpret as snobbish, spelling and grammar etc etc) and worry away at that instead.

It's a total distraction from the question! So what if OP is a bit of a snob, or not up-to-speed on the latest psychological jargon - if it's irrelevant to the original question?

It's the 'You sound horrible' or 'You sound snobbish' comments...oh, and the knee-jerk 'You sound jealous' - no, just because someone doesn't like something doesn't mean they're jealous! I can't stand Katie Price but I'm not jealous of her.

You can usually spot the men a mile off tbf. It's always interesting having to pretend they might be women when you've had a sign they don't even realise they've made early on. Usually obsessively pushing some obscure point not directly involved with whatever the poster was asking.

The women seem to be emotional and personally triggered by certain aspects in the threads they post like this on. I may well have done it myself so can see it - you've had a situation where you've fallen out over something and the person posting sounds very similar to that person you've had in your real life. I think that is how it happens. Often the posters have no idea what has triggered the person and it's often odd to anyone reading but would make perfect sense to the poster who suddenly gets defensive.

@Maddy70 It's not a weird post, I agree. Do you not realise how many Incels are out there? Obviously it's unlikely to all be men but certainly some of them in my personal opinion. What is the first forum an Incel would turn to? One aimed at mums - who are women who will have turned men like them, down. Think about it

I very, very nearly attempted suicide after something that was said to me on here when I first joined. I won’t repeat it but "take your breath away" is a good way of describing my initial reaction I was stunned. There's some real evil in this world.

Christ alive. I would hate to live my life with that level of paranoia

It's not paranoia to recognise that you don't know who you are typing to on an online forum. It's common sense.