DDs Classmate smashed a Window today - Would you expect the School to tell Parents?

[Lemonandlimez]

Damage was done on purpose during lesson, Classmate was angry / upset and purposefully kicked and smashed the Window. All class evacuated quickly to another room. Class Teacher spoke to them all as a group after and told them to tell their Parents about the incident. Would you expect the School to also contact us Parents or not? DD is 7.

No. What reason would the other parents have to know? Dc can go home and say "Bryan went ape shit today and bust the window in the history classroom so we all got out of history". I'd then expect school to deal with Bryan by suspension or other means and if he continued to be disruptive then I'd expect him to be expelled. The school only has so many windows.

My school would have likely sent out an email explaining that an incident had occured, a window was smashed and no one was injured, situation was contained quickly etc. I'd probably be peeved if they didn't. It's a fairly serious incident in a primary school! We had an email out recently because some one brought a water gun into school and it was deemed inappropriate as it was a replica weapon 🤣

You can try all the strategies and de-escalation, but sometimes they are ineffective.
Sadly, as a teacher, one of the only ways I can protect students from another student is by putting myself between the attacker and their target. And blocking if I can. And it hurts.

I’m just astonished at this lack of communication and the posters who are ok with it. We have fallen so far as a nation.

At the very least, that would be an upsetting thing to witness. And possibly pretty scary. But you don’t want to know what your kid’s seen?

FGS TV shows that have violence in are unsuitable for kids. Ok for them to witness it live tho?

wtf. Glad my kids are grown up.

and the talk of expulsion. Well good luck with that. It costs £££££££.

I’d expect school to communicate, but in a way that tried to calm the situation.

Definitely not expect the school to tell the parents.
Why make more of a drama out of it? No need and it would only complicate an already difficult situation.

Indeed. Can you imagine a child saying the next morning: mum I’m scared, I don’t want to go to school. And the mum not realising why - saying don’t be silly, school is fine, let’s go. And the child just not saying anything. Children are famous for replying that they did “nothing” when asked what went on at school.

This is a difficult one for the school. On one hand, if it was my child that had broken the window then I wouldn't want further attention drawn to it by the whole class getting a message. Some parents can be very judgemental and gossip, making life difficult for that family/child.

On the other hand it is helpful to know something happened in class just in case children are anxious the next day or following the incident.

Your child has told you so on this occasion you weren't out of the loop but I'd probably feel differently if it popped up in conversation a few weeks later. Hopefully the teacher will debrief the class and reassure them they are safe in school.

No, I would only expect the parents of the child involved to be contacted.

I’m surprised by the responses here to be honest.
you’re talking about a seven year old right? So year2 or 3 in primary school?
I would expect contact from school yes, my seven year old would have been really upset and need lots of reassurance afterwards.

If it were secondary I wouldn’t be so bothered but surely this isn’t common behaviour in any school, particularly in primary school?!

I would absolutely want to know about this, so I could speak to my child about it. That is a really scary thing to witness. If someone had smashed a window in anger at home it would be a safeguarding issue that would need to be dealt with. Bizarre that just because it happens at school (where children should feel and be safe) it is not necessary to communicate about it with parents/carers.

Primary school teachers and TAs are being assaulted by children on a fairly routine basis - I know primary school teachers who have been told that in their job they should expect to be hurt by the children.

So a smashed window possibly isn't that big of a deal.

The parents of the kids who were present are likely to hear about the incident from them, possibly with embellishments in some cases, and I assume the school will notify the parents of the child who broke the window, but I don't think the school needs to contact every parent every time a pupil kicks off.

How broken is our society when a child smashing a window in anger is no big deal.

Very. Us teachers have been telling others that for a long time but apparently we moan too much...

Very!
It is a normal procedure to evacuate a class because another pupil is behaving dangerously.
I have done that this week with my class.

Maybe if services were funded properly and schools had money and space to support these pupils, early help could be there to support these pupils and their parents before they start school then we’d be in a better position.

Then there’s the shock over why they can’t recruit enough teachers.

Yes it is. That sounds dangerous and potentially traumatic for the other children.

I am surprised people are saying it’s not the parents business.

If it happened at home and an angry sibling put the dining room window through or an angry dad put the kitchen window through with his foot and the 7 year old was in the room but uninjured would the school see it as their business?

Yes I would be emailing the school. I would want to know how they would safeguard my daughter going forward.

If you're concerned about your child's safety going forward, you can always go in and have a word with your child's teacher. I wouldn't have thought they'd be surprised that some parents will be concerned that this happened while their child was in the classroom and could have been hurt (broken glass?) I'd probably be worried if this happened in my 7 year old's class!

I would put it in writing and create an audit trail - conversations can be denied.

Classrooms are meant to be safe spaces for all children to learn and for adults to work. Of course it is a parent's business if their children are in an unsafe situation.

I suspect the teacher is looking for parental back up to support further action/ next steps in order to make the classroom a safe place for all.

Nope, they will be required to tell the parents of the child that did the damage but not the rest. Having been in same situation when I was at school there may be another angle here.

My school was designated as the school to put 'problem cases' as we were the best school in the area. We got one in our class that was very disturbed. We were their third school, and fourth out of the six classes in the year they'd been through. Any time we complained it was brushed off by the higher ups. We needed to be nicer to them, more understanding, our complaints were bullying them (reporting them for claiming they would bring a knife in and end us all!).

One day they attacked someone else in class. We had to basically push them out a window and lock them out to stop them (ground floor, no injury sustained). One filmed the attack and the threats and stuff thrown at the window afterwards. Want to know what happened? We got told off! For having phones in school.

Our teacher backed us up and said it was their fault for not keeping rest of us safe. We were encouraged to tell our parents and get them to complain. To the school, governers, OFSTED. Basically force them to do something. They may have told the kids to tell their parents hoping for the same outcome. Lots of complaints about this student to force their hand to do something because they're probably at the end of their tether dealing with them too!

I agree with @FlyingHighFlyingLow I was told if the nice kids parents don’t kick up enough fuss (in writing) the school will not always tackle an aggressive child especially if the aggressive child’s parent(s) are a nightmare. Once the number of complaints and audit trails increase it appears to force the academy/leaderships hand. Don’t communicate via group chat but you can speak to other parents.

I would not involve the class teacher but if you like him or her I would add that s/he is an excellent teacher and your child enjoys learning in his/her class etc etc. I wouldn’t want to blame or upset a good teacher. I doubt they want broken windows either. In fact saying tell your parents may suggest he/she is unable to get support from the leadership team.

Please do send an email. I work in a school with some very challenging behaviour and not enough support, and parental complaints are the fastest route to action. If the teacher really did tell the children to tell their parents, then to me it sounds like a cry for help, she’s probably at the end of her tether!

Myopic glass - absolutely.
I had to be polite but persistent to sort out the issues my daughter had with an aggressive child in her class. The teacher dropped hints (apparently accidentally but she is very switched on so I think probably not accidentally) that we were not the only ones with concerns but her hands were tied. So I took it to the headteacher. And maybe I had some influence as a member of the PTA, or maybe it was just the tipping point where they felt they had to do something. But the following week the child who was aggressive was moved to the other class. Which I appreciate isn't great for that class, but ultimately my daughter is my priority. And I was very careful to never be critical about the other child, but to focus on the negative impact on my child.

If enough parents politely but firmly raise concerns, a school has to take action. Hopefully!