DDs Classmate smashed a Window today - Would you expect the School to tell Parents?

[Lemonandlimez]

Damage was done on purpose during lesson, Classmate was angry / upset and purposefully kicked and smashed the Window. All class evacuated quickly to another room. Class Teacher spoke to them all as a group after and told them to tell their Parents about the incident. Would you expect the School to also contact us Parents or not? DD is 7.

That might be it.
A teacher complaining endlessly will get ignored. A group of parents will have much more clout.

Absolutely. But unfortunately not all children will share their concerns until things get too much for them.
I only found out about the abuse my daughter was receiving from a classmate when I asked her 'how did you get that bruise' and she broke down and told me. She was 7, and the teacher had told her not to make a fuss as X couldnt help their behaviour, and she felt protective over this child and didn't want to get them into trouble. She had become withdrawn, not eating, nightmares but we couldnt find out what the issue was.

Had the school told me, I could have supported her much better.
Witnessing violence can be as traumatic as experiencing it, and not every child will open up until they reach crisis point.

How would telling the parents make the children more safe?

No, I wouldn't expect them to tell the parents. When dd was year R they had a child with behavioural issues and they not infrequently were evacuated due to his violence.
We weren't told when he smashed a chair to pieces, which is harder than a window. Not sure what the point of telling everyone would be except to humiliate his parents who were lovely and doing their best by him, but he had significant issues. The children told enough. You just listen and play it down, and tell them they've done right by doing what the teacher said.

I suspect the "told to tell" was either "tell them we're sorry you're late out, but we had to deal with an incident" or if a child asked "can I tell mum?" they said "yes, if you want to." Rather than them announcing to them "you must tell."

I saw a window broken at school by a kick. It was a total accident and it didn't take much force, simply hit at the wrong point. I remember more the look of horror on the boy's face who'd done it.

Actually the other reason I would expect to be told is that is allows the school to get ahead of the situation. Not telling parents creates an additional layer of aggro because then parents are concerned that their child isn't safe AND they are being kept in the dark. Because obviously the kids are going to tell their parents, possibly with a fair bit of dramatic embellishment, and obviously it's going to be doing the rounds on WhatsApp etc without school sending out an email. So they may as well be proactive in sending out a "there was an incident, noone was hurt, pupils were removed from the area while staff dealt with the issue, etc" email that will help quell some rumour and make parent feel that they are at least being kept in the loop.

A factual, calm email from school will help damp down the gossip.

I would have thought 7 year old children would be upset and frightened and that school would want to get a handle on the narrative - certainly reassure parents that their kids are safe, because children will talk and then parents will pass it on and by the end of the WhatsApp chain you'll have a totally different, wild story going around. I'd think the school would put out a very calm communication, not naming names and aiming to put parents' minds at ease and stop the gossip.

I’d expect an email tbh. And we get them for loads of things from our school (UsA)

judt one that outlined a window was broken, class evacuated, no one injured. Please let us know if your child needs support. Especially for that young a class.

we often get emails for things like;

we had a power cut, learning was not disrupted

an ambulance was called for a teacher/student, their parents notified

a man with no connection to the school is loitering in the car park, we’ve called the cops

we had a threat, it was unfounded

and so on and so on. Maybe we’re all just nosy bastards but it’s a good system and stops the half stories our kids might come home with

@Bushmillsbabe - good point. My DC always told me every single detail of the school day in dramatic detail. I should remember not all DC are like mine.

I'm surprised so many people are saying no. It's not like he threw a bag across the room, a window was broken. If I was at a restaurant for example and someone kicked in a window I would be shocked therefore a heads up from school would be appreciated. Not as a witch-hunt for the child who needs support but just so I can ask how my child feels about it.

No I would not expect to be told

No I wouldn’t expect them to inform parents.

I'm really surprised a lot of posters think this is unusual behaviour. I teach in a lot of schools, covering a large area everything from leafy country with tiny classes to 5+ form entry schools in the middle of a city and trust me this kind of stuff is pretty common behaviour across a significant portion of them.

Hmm. I think this is an extra layer of work not needed by schools and then comes to be expected by parents. No one needs to know about an ambulance for someone else's child or a power cut.

Yanbu, I would expect an email and some sort of assurance that they are dealing with such an issue. I know we would definitely get an email, private school though.

I think it’s because you’re in the US.
Britain is broken.

No. This did happen at my DD’s school -in year 7 or 8 - and parents were not told.

My children could be a bit upset or bothered by a child behaving like this at this age.

Id expect the school to say that there'd been an incident and a window was broken, but to not mention other children, and reassure that classroom was safe/window being repaired etc.

Me too! The amount we expect young children to deal with and process is astounding. Little people, with developing brains and big feelings that they may struggle to process on a good day, are expected to witness violence and be able to explain it calmly and factually to their parents and then just get over it. Some will be fine. Some will be really traumatised and unable to articulate these feelings to their parents, and act out and possibly told off, when they are actually just a really really scared little child. If parents know then they can interpret their child's behaviour and emotions in the context of what they have witnessed.

No I wouldn’t expect the school to contact other parents. However, it the teacher has told them to tell their parents then the teacher probably wants management to do something and the only way sometimes is for parents to ‘cause a fuss’ to SLT.

Would you expect to be informed every time there was a major behaviour issue in school? Your email would be red hot.

Also the school are fucking stupid not to manage the comms on it.

If you say nothing the DC just talk with highly variable degrees of accuracy and the rumour mill is kept fed. Kate middleton all over again.

Better to say something brief/boring/innocuous but factual and honest. Its this sort of thing that makes people mistrustful. If there's nothing to hide, don't hide it.

GentlemanJay

Doesn't need to be an email. Teacher can mention at school gate would do. Not for every behaviour incident but for something exceptional that might upset other DC.

And if you class a weapon as a pencil or scissors or objects being thrown, it is a regular occurrence in primary schools.

The teacher is crying out for help, she’s hoping that by telling the children to tell their parents the parents will complain and something will be done to support her and the child.

id guess this has been going on a while and SLT haven’t been overly supportive.

And we wonder why children don’t want to go to school.