It's a Plane Etiquette one!! Was I AIBU?

[Belladonna90]

Night flight back from the US.
Cabin crew do meal service at around 4am (UK time) around 11pm (US). I'm hoping not to go to bed when I land (so can beat the jet lag and not stay in US time!). In economy class and have the blanket over my head so I can sleep (need the 'room' to be as dark as possible'). I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time. How wrong I was! Cabin Crew passes me with meal trolley (happily doesn't disturb me to ask whether I want a meal...at that time absolutely not!). However, when she is asking the passenger behind me she reclines my seat back up which startled the life out of me as I was jostled back up!! I was so annoyed as I was fast asleep. I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her. Was I wrong to challenge her and ask why she did that?? She told me for service all seats must be in the upright position....

I am on a Qatar flight now en route to Doha, meal served roughly 90nminutes after take off. 17.5 hour flight, and I would be really annoyed if you had not placed your seat in the upright position for meal service.

Just to play the other side, some people taking an F-ing long time with their meals. I wanted to recline once but a man behind me kicked off because he was having his meal (a long time after most had finished). I was losing the plot without sleep so when I finally went to try again and ask him, he was passed out and hadn’t even let me know after kicking off earlier. The whole seat recline etiquette is messed up, doesn’t work for anyone. They should just no recline in my view, save all the drama.

😂😂😂 YABU. The cabin crew gave you the reason, which was that the seats have to be up during service. Plus, how did you expect the person to eat with you lying over their food? Go in business/first if you want more space 🤷‍♀️

I fear this thread is in danger of derailment. 🫣

However, I am compelled to weigh in on the statement that her seat was forced upright. Can we all agree that the likelihood of the flight attendant standing behind the OP's seat to push it upright, or in front of OP to pull the seat, thereby forcing it is remote at best?
There simply isn't room to get in there to do so unless the other passengers get out of their seats. Even if that were to happen, we all know it's hardly possible to stand in such a small space. Unless, of course, the flight attendant was quite small. 🤔
OP, was the flight attendant rather small (but mighty, I presume)?

Unreasonable doesn't cover it

Even tho it's about flying??!!😀

The airline is being unreasonable by cramming the rows in so tightly that people don’t have room to eat when the seat in front is reclined. But they have to make the whole thing profitable somehow.

OP is also a little unreasonable and entitled, so is the person sitting behind who presumably asked the hostess to raise OP’s seat rather than just coping.

I have done a similar flight several times. If a flight is leaving the US at 8 pm (US time), this usually means the passengers will have been in transit since at least 5 pm, if not 4 pm (depending how far they are from the airport). For an international flight, they will start boarding around 7 pm if they want to take off at 8. In other words, the passengers will be busy getting ready to fly at the time one would usually be eating dinner. Therefore, many passengers will need something to eat after they board. I would say 11 pm is a little late for dinner service on a USA-to-UK flight; usually they try to serve dinner as soon as possible after takeoff, so people can eat something and get to sleep.

I understand that, from your perspective, the flight was serving dinner at 4 am. But from the perspective of their US customers (and if I understand correctly the flight was leaving from the US) it actually was 11 pm when they served. Not 4 am. These red-eye flights from the USA tend to land in London at about 3 am from a US viewpoint, so people's tummies might not be ready to eat breakfast that early in the morning. I think it's reasonable that they served dinner on the flight. And, like I said, all the US-to-UK flights I've been on, have done so.

Presumably you had from 11:30 am, US time, to about 3 am, US time, to get some sleep.

And ask for a seat in the last row too. Although they may not recline but you won't disturb the person behind.

I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her

Serving hot food, which often is followed by a hot drink IS a safety issue.

YABU and then assuming that people are only eating to get their moneys worth?

Ridiculous!

Stop being so selfish.

I never knew that on a night flight eating had a higher priority than sleeping....we were both paying passengers

Of course you were both paying passengers..? You still have to raise your seat, unless you want to come across as being both entitled and a bit thick.

Agree. Seats must be upright when food and drink is served. Didn't you know this. But she should have woken you up.

Not everyone’s food comes at the same time, if he had a special meal it may have arrived a lot later

😁how where you asleep when you answered her!!!!

what do you mean by coping? That would be agreeing to go without food as if someone is fully reclined in front of you then it’s impossible to eat. Why should they have to go without food. Cabin crew probably just did it off their own accord when they couldn’t hand them the food.

You were on a plane so even if you tried to make it as convenient as you could to get your sleep, you couldn’t guarantee it. If you were on Ryanair for example, someone would start screaming about scratch cards just as you’ve gone into deep sleep. You just have to put up with it.
For me personally, reclining should only be when everyone’s supposed to be asleep on the plane, def not meal times. It’s so rude to have your seat reclined without any thought for the person behind.

OP is also a little unreasonable and entitled, so is the person sitting behind who presumably asked the hostess to raise OP’s seat rather than just coping

It’s unlikely the person behind asked anything of a sort. Presumably they just indicated they wanted the meal/beverage that was offered. This meant the reclined seat had to go up as there is no way they could have safely provided the meal/beverage if the seat was reclined as the tray won’t go down properly to hold these. As I said before, it’s standard on our national carrier for an announcement to be made and if anyone is sleeping/reclined the staff go down the aisles waking sleeping passengers telling them to put their seats up before coming down with the trolleys. Because they can’t safely deliver hot food and beverages otherwise.

I flew back from the US last week with Air France and cabin crew were putting seats upright as they went through the cabin serving food. The passenger in front of DH had reclined her seat and there is no way that he could have eaten his meal with it like that.
OP, YANBU to expect to be able to have your seat reclined during meal service.

Seat recliners generally are dicks. I seem to manage to sit and doze in the upright seat position on long flights.

Maybe the difference is I am a terrible sleeper generally, never mind on planes, so do not go in with the expectation of sleep.

@britinnyc I agree it's a weird time for a meal but I think there are regulations that they have to serve a meal/snack at certain intervals. A 12 hour flight might be 7pm to 7am, but they still have to offer 2 meals and a snack in that time.

I guess they have to offer it as there's nothing else on a long flight and some people might be hungry at different times.

"Seat recliners generally are dicks"... what?

Not everyone can sleep upright - why does a preference for having their body in a certain position to sleep make someone a "dick"?

We were ready for our meal on our most recent red eye. We planned the day to be out and about NYC all day. We had a big ish lunch but had to be at JFK at 7.30pm meaning we started travelling there at 5.30pm (as we had to go back to our apartment to collect bags).

I was perfectly happy to have a meal at 11.30pm!

Seriously have you never flown long-haul before?? Person behind you cannot eat if you are fully reclined. It’s just rude.

Don’t they dim the lights once the food has been served on a night flight. So if you had to put a blanket over your head then they hadn’t dimmed the lights so a meal was likely to be served

What? Or maybe they eat and drink because they're hungry/thirsty?

Putting seats upright for meals has been the case on every long-haul flight I've been on (yes, including 10+ overnight-type flights).