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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a Plane Etiquette one!! Was I AIBU?

354 replies

Belladonna90 · 29/04/2024 19:19

Night flight back from the US.
Cabin crew do meal service at around 4am (UK time) around 11pm (US). I'm hoping not to go to bed when I land (so can beat the jet lag and not stay in US time!). In economy class and have the blanket over my head so I can sleep (need the 'room' to be as dark as possible'). I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time. How wrong I was! Cabin Crew passes me with meal trolley (happily doesn't disturb me to ask whether I want a meal...at that time absolutely not!). However, when she is asking the passenger behind me she reclines my seat back up which startled the life out of me as I was jostled back up!! I was so annoyed as I was fast asleep. I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her. Was I wrong to challenge her and ask why she did that?? She told me for service all seats must be in the upright position....

OP posts:
HelenaWaiting · 30/04/2024 02:14

Belladonna90 · 29/04/2024 22:19

It's a combination really....
I think instead of jostling my seat up I would of found it more respectful if she had asked or tapped me so I wouldn't of gotten such a fright (my partner was beside me and she asked him was I eating, he said no and then she proceeded to ask the person behind me and then jostled my seat up). For me it is also the fact that it is so late in the night and at least 3 hours after take off. It is to be expected people want to sleep. I never knew that on a night flight eating had a higher priority than sleeping....we were both paying passengers . A lot of posters have lambasted me for saying I should of booked business class instead of economy (good luck trying to get a business seat on a JFK service at short notice!). It's surely the luck of the draw in economy in terms of comfort...and the lady behind me had to expect on a night flight people will want to sleep and their chairs will be reclined.

Show quote history

I think you're extremely fortunate that the lady behind you wasn't me.

FiveShelties · 30/04/2024 02:14

PrincessFionaCharming · 30/04/2024 01:38

Lol sorry but this is so funny.

It is, almost feels like a wonderful wind up, almost.

grinandslothit · 30/04/2024 02:46

Must have been your first flight.

There is always an evening meal a few hours into an overnight flight.

Nobody cares if you didn't want to eat at 11pm. The people behind you did.

Maybe the FA sensed you would be difficult and just put the seat up for you to save an argument about it.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/04/2024 02:59

It’s ghastly for people to eat food served to them? For all you know they have arrived on a connecting flight and this is their first chance to eat

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 03:22

londonmummy1966 · 29/04/2024 22:58

Your fundamental mistake was being a woman flying with BA. Their staff treat female passengers with utter contempt. They would not have jostled a man's seat like that but would have seen you as fair game. If it's any consolation if you'd been flying business they'd probably have treated you even worse - the female BA staff have a massive issue with women flying and especially business. DH never believed my horror stories until he flew with me once and was appalled at how they treated me.

Lifelong BA passenger and friend of quite a few (absolutely lovely) BA cabin crew. What you describe is not the case whatsoever but do try a bit harder with the fake misogyny stories next time

WaitingfortheTardis · 30/04/2024 03:24

Instead of making such a fuss, you could've just gone back to sleep.

palmroyale · 30/04/2024 03:25

YABU for sleeping with a fucking blanket over your head, let alone anything else!

BettyBardMacDonald · 30/04/2024 03:27

Seats are supposed to be upright during meal service.

Why not use a sleep mask rather than suffocating under a blanket?

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 30/04/2024 03:31

Who are you to say whether people should be hungry at night or not? You don't know what time zone their stomach is in? You don't know how long they've been travelling or what the reason for the journey was. They could be shattered and starving what the hell business is it of yours? Get that stupid blanket off your head and do the right thing next time like any decent human and get your seat up at mealtimes.

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:38

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 03:22

Lifelong BA passenger and friend of quite a few (absolutely lovely) BA cabin crew. What you describe is not the case whatsoever but do try a bit harder with the fake misogyny stories next time

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Cabin crew do treat people differently though. They’re just as fallible as other humans for judgemental behaviour, not more, not less.

It’s interesting about a pp who said a man who refused to upright his seat did not have his seat forcibly uprighted by cabin crew.

Kalettesarethebest · 30/04/2024 03:39

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exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:40

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 30/04/2024 03:31

Who are you to say whether people should be hungry at night or not? You don't know what time zone their stomach is in? You don't know how long they've been travelling or what the reason for the journey was. They could be shattered and starving what the hell business is it of yours? Get that stupid blanket off your head and do the right thing next time like any decent human and get your seat up at mealtimes.

Unnecessarily nasty. As long as her seat is upright she is perfectly entitled to put a blanket on her head. Who are you to tell her no?!

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:41

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No, she doesn’t. Reported.

Kalettesarethebest · 30/04/2024 03:44

Yes, she does

HoppingPavlova · 30/04/2024 03:45

Be it a Boeing or Airbus aircraft, engineers design the seats with it in mind that tray tables can still be used even if seats are reclined otherwise

We must have never had the same planes. I’ve never been on one where I could have had a hope of putting my tray table down if the seat in front was even slightly reclined. Thank goodness my national carrier I use makes an announcement food service is about to start and tells everyone all seats must be upright. If people are sleeping they are woken to put their seats upright. As it should be. When used meals are collected, people are free to recline again.

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 03:46

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Inspireme2 · 30/04/2024 03:47

Learn to be flexible and not so set on what suits you but also those around you?

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 30/04/2024 03:48

@exomoon interesting that you've picked out my comment to be offended by when there are multiple others saying the same thing. Would you care to copy and paste all of their comments too?

Bahhhhhumbug · 30/04/2024 03:50

exomoon · 29/04/2024 19:27

That's not true. I've flown with Emirates many times, they require everyone to put seats upright during meal times.

Why do you think the people behind should eat their meal with your seat in their face?

Absolutely find to recline - OUTSIDE of meal times.

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Yes this, l have travelled with Singapore Airlines several times. Always have to put seats up during mealtimes. Had someone like the OP on a 12hr flight once who didn't think he should have to put his seat up for entire flight. I got cabin crew to intervene.

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 03:50

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:38

Cabin crew do treat people differently though. They’re just as fallible as other humans for judgemental behaviour, not more, not less.

It’s interesting about a pp who said a man who refused to upright his seat did not have his seat forcibly uprighted by cabin crew.

Show quote history

With ‘forcibly uprighted’ actually being: cabin crew did their job and pressed button on seat, bringing OP (an inch) upright and making the passenger behind comfortable to eat. Exaggeration much?

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:57

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 03:50

With ‘forcibly uprighted’ actually being: cabin crew did their job and pressed button on seat, bringing OP (an inch) upright and making the passenger behind comfortable to eat. Exaggeration much?

Edited
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It’s courtesy to ask passengers to upright their seat. So yes, cabin crew was in the wrong there.

I’m surprised with all your cabin crews friend and life long BA flier status ( 🤣) that you don’t know that.

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:58

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

No, I have told OP that seats must be upright during meal times.

But you and others are now piling on OP and calling her a weird snob for her spelling which which shows your mentality.

Grow up.

exomoon · 30/04/2024 03:59

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 30/04/2024 03:48

@exomoon interesting that you've picked out my comment to be offended by when there are multiple others saying the same thing. Would you care to copy and paste all of their comments too?

No, I have called out others for being nasty too.

Pingtotheeastwoodly · 30/04/2024 04:56

YABU

LoudSnoringDog · 30/04/2024 05:06

We tend to get night flights back when flying long haul. We have always kept our seats up until after meal service before settling down to sleep.
she should have tapped you slightly really rather than just press the button to jolt you forward but either way, it sounds like you would have been annoyed