It's a Plane Etiquette one!! Was I AIBU?

[Belladonna90]

Night flight back from the US.
Cabin crew do meal service at around 4am (UK time) around 11pm (US). I'm hoping not to go to bed when I land (so can beat the jet lag and not stay in US time!). In economy class and have the blanket over my head so I can sleep (need the 'room' to be as dark as possible'). I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time. How wrong I was! Cabin Crew passes me with meal trolley (happily doesn't disturb me to ask whether I want a meal...at that time absolutely not!). However, when she is asking the passenger behind me she reclines my seat back up which startled the life out of me as I was jostled back up!! I was so annoyed as I was fast asleep. I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her. Was I wrong to challenge her and ask why she did that?? She told me for service all seats must be in the upright position....

In case anyone us interested:
https://www.consumerreports.org/money/airline-travel/the-new-airplane-etiquette-rules-a6223869431/

I’d put my seat up if a baby was behind me but I would be very annoyed if it was at night, outside of mealtime and I wanted to sleep.

You failed to book an appropriate seat and now expect the person in front to make adjustments for you, when they just want to use a service paid for.

The person who reclined during mealtime was wrong.

@Mumtobabyhavoc so because one flight attendant isn't bothered, none are? 🤔

Of course she meant to offend. Which FA was not offended? I can’t see that.

@exomoon

Was waiting for a pendant... 😁
No, of course not.
My point was just as I stated: I don't think there was intention to offend.

@Mumtobabyhavoc says everyone that says an offensive remark....""but I didn't mean to offend you" 🙄

Yes, have heard that before... 🤦‍♀️

@Mumtobabyhavoc now why doesn't that surprise me 🤔.

The one that really makes me twitch is:
I'm sorry if you were offended.
🤬

@Mumtobabyhavoc do you find yourself saying that a lot? How do you find people respond to it? Do they take it at face value?

Ha ha, no. It's not a phrase I say. 😅

That's what I thought but cabin crew didn't push it any further with her. Later on she disappeared to sit in a totally different seat and remained there until we landed. She tried to start slagging me in Arabic to the woman (I had politely asked her to desist prior to the cabin crew getting involved) next to her but the woman said "I don't really speak it" which I loved as a gentle way of saying "I understand you're speaking Arabic to me but I am not joining in"

You’re lucky they didn’t grab hold of you & shake you awake OP. I saw them do this to someone on my last flight, they were lying down on a row of 4 all covered up nicely 😆

You sound entitled. And by your "in another league " comment, a snob.

It is one of those very common scenarios in life where there is no black or white, right or wrong option, recline/don't recline. It depends, as in so many cases on a balance between self interest and consideration for the people you are sharing your space with. Luckily the vast majority of people can usually manage this balance.

They wait until everyone has eaten, then gently recline as the cabin gets ready for bed and dim the lights. They understand that choosing an overnight flight in economy means a certain amount of discomfort and lack of sleep. If you do want to recline before dinner - it is gracious to lift your own seat as you see the trolleys approaching and drinks being dispensed.

Unfortunately you often see the balance in favour of self interest completely outweigh consideration for others as is demonstrated on this thread.

YABU

Telling me to fuck off? Aren't you a peach! it you that was sat in front me for 7.5hrs, wasn't it.
I can tell
The term trolley dolly was absolutely not meant to be offensive.
I was brought up to consider others around me but that's just my experience of parented

Just flown with Qatar Airlines, person in front of my DP had her seat partly reclined and I was fuming the cabin crew didn't ask her to put it up so my DP could eat his meal.

@Popeyewhereareyou - I sympathise with both your partner and the cabin crew here. Abuse of cabin crew is on the increase (including inappropriate touching) and they need to judge each situation at the spur of the moment. Like the rest of us, not everyone gets everything right all the time. But sadly something minor can kick off big time causing bigger problems.

Surely he could’ve asked the person himself or at least mentioned it to the cabin crew?

Regular ultra long haul flyer here. I'm talking 28 hour trips in the air with one change; Dubai, Singapore or Hong Kong. No one is in any kind of wake sleep cycle so irrespective of whether its day or night outside the etiquette is:

• seat up from the start of the flight until the first meal is served. The lights will usually be on to indicate this.

-meal served. Decline if you want

• meal trays removed
• lights off. Reclining is more than acceptable.
• snack served mid flight usually only to those who are awake and accept. No one is asked to change their position
• eons elapse
• lights slowly come on and breakfast is served, usually 1.5 hours from landing. You are expected to put your seat up at this stage

Anyone who 'hates recliners' on long haul airlines is being ridiculous. There is no impact on your space if you also recline on planes that can fly that distance; 747, a380, 777, dreamliner. The reclining bit is never into the knee area in all of these planes. It does however move the seat back more into someone's face so if they are upright trying to eat it's quite unpleasant.

She was right to move you up

It's plane etiquette and good manners for seats to be upright during meal times regardless of who you're flying with. YABVU

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