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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a Plane Etiquette one!! Was I AIBU?

354 replies

Belladonna90 · 29/04/2024 19:19

Night flight back from the US.
Cabin crew do meal service at around 4am (UK time) around 11pm (US). I'm hoping not to go to bed when I land (so can beat the jet lag and not stay in US time!). In economy class and have the blanket over my head so I can sleep (need the 'room' to be as dark as possible'). I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time. How wrong I was! Cabin Crew passes me with meal trolley (happily doesn't disturb me to ask whether I want a meal...at that time absolutely not!). However, when she is asking the passenger behind me she reclines my seat back up which startled the life out of me as I was jostled back up!! I was so annoyed as I was fast asleep. I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her. Was I wrong to challenge her and ask why she did that?? She told me for service all seats must be in the upright position....

OP posts:
TerrysNeapolitan · 29/04/2024 23:14

you sound like an absolute dick

KrisTheGardener · 29/04/2024 23:21

My understanding is you don't recline until after the food service. Then you are free to recline.

CloudyYellow · 29/04/2024 23:23

You sound selfish and entitled.

EmilyTjP · 29/04/2024 23:23

Dogmum45 · 29/04/2024 21:04

YABU

i’m presuming you don’t fly very often.
A hot meal (sometimes 2) is always served on long haul flights.
It’s common knowledge that seats are put back into the upright position during the meal
service. It’s common courtesy.
Most airlines either make an announcement or post a message on your TV screen if it’s a later flight.

That is absolutely not true 😂 I’m very well travelled with multiple airlines and I have NEVER seen that

Tickytocky · 29/04/2024 23:42

Anyone who reclines seats where another passenger is affected needs throwing in the bin.
At any time, not just service time.
Ughh so unreasonable !

MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 29/04/2024 23:43

EmilyTjP · 29/04/2024 23:23

That is absolutely not true 😂 I’m very well travelled with multiple airlines and I have NEVER seen that

Show quote history

I’ve never seen it on the TV, but every international flight I have been on has announced over intercom that meal service is in progress and to ensure seats are upright🤔

TwattyMcFuckFace · 29/04/2024 23:48

londonmummy1966 · 29/04/2024 22:58

Your fundamental mistake was being a woman flying with BA. Their staff treat female passengers with utter contempt. They would not have jostled a man's seat like that but would have seen you as fair game. If it's any consolation if you'd been flying business they'd probably have treated you even worse - the female BA staff have a massive issue with women flying and especially business. DH never believed my horror stories until he flew with me once and was appalled at how they treated me.

Yeah might be just you then?

I found the staff on all my BA flights lovely.

They couldn't do enough for me or the passengers around me.

KrisTheGardener · 29/04/2024 23:49

Tickytocky · 29/04/2024 23:42

Anyone who reclines seats where another passenger is affected needs throwing in the bin.
At any time, not just service time.
Ughh so unreasonable !

I think that depends. If I'm on a 12 hour flight after having just come from an 8 hour connecting flight, after the meal service I'm going to recline so I can sleep a bit. That's the deal with economy.

Lilmaubetden · 29/04/2024 23:52

I do this flight a lot, from JFK or Tampa usually, sometimes Miami. There is always a meal served a few hours after take-off. I’ve never been on one where it’s only been a light bite and a hot breakfast…well at least not for about 10 years. Always a hot meal and then some yoghurt and granola for breakfast.
Regardless, the air steward put your seat up, because the person behind did want their meal. That is not ghastly at all. I normally want mine too, usually because we’ve driven a few hours, been in the airport for a while and I’m hungry. Also, it passes time.
So I voted that you are being unreasonable. Night flights are uncomfortable, and you get very little sleep. It’s just a fact.

MaryFuckingFerguson · 29/04/2024 23:56

If you must recline your seat, do it only after the main meal service. It’s obnoxious to not consider fellow passengers.

Have (not of) some consideration.

noodlebugz · 29/04/2024 23:58

been behind someone who did this (not even a night flight) - it’s really inconsiderate as it makes it impossible to eat the meal you’ve been provided with. Book an upgrade if you want the space to recline the whole time.
Cabin crew wouldn’t wake them or move us - glad they’ve changed their policy.

BadLad · 30/04/2024 00:05

blue345 · 29/04/2024 20:42

I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time.

I'm confused, what's the relevance of chicken or beef?

It means the meal was being served - the OP is mimicking the flight attendants’ saying “Meal A or Meal B”. It doesn’t mean that the reclining dilemma literally depended on those particular meats being served.

KomodoOhno · 30/04/2024 00:11

MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 29/04/2024 23:43

I’ve never seen it on the TV, but every international flight I have been on has announced over intercom that meal service is in progress and to ensure seats are upright🤔

Show quote history

Every flight I have been on even short flights with only a snack same rule. YABU.

disaggregate · 30/04/2024 00:23

You're being unreasonable to be so sure you would be able to sleep on a flight and to not stump up a bit extra if you really had to sleep - say if there was a crying baby beside you? It's totally the norm for seats needing to be upright during meal times

whynotwhatknot · 30/04/2024 00:23

3 hours does seem quite late for the meal tbh i woul have cheked if meals were going to be served

BA crew actually told me they cant make anyone put their seat up an only ask

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/04/2024 00:24

You said you had a blanket over your head.
Is it possible everyone thought you were dead and therefore didn't see the need to tap you? 😁

Honestly, a blanket over your head very loudly says, Cuckoo, cuckoo. Eye mask on the other hand is entirely different.

BadLad · 30/04/2024 00:28

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/04/2024 00:24

You said you had a blanket over your head.
Is it possible everyone thought you were dead and therefore didn't see the need to tap you? 😁

Honestly, a blanket over your head very loudly says, Cuckoo, cuckoo. Eye mask on the other hand is entirely different.

arnold schwarzenegger commando GIF

Commando fan?

MadBlack · 30/04/2024 00:48

Is this your first time slumming it in economy?

Koulibiak · 30/04/2024 01:02

Yes OP, you were wrong to challenge her. This is a universal rule, it is applied by all airlines AFAIK (and I used to have gold status with BA and Cathay due to work travel). Seats must be upright for the meal service.

If you want to do the right thing, as opposed to just follow the rules, then frankly you shouldn’t recline at all in economy, or at the very least wait until after the meal service. Because it’s very unpleasant to have a seat in your face, whether you are reading, watching tv, knitting or whatever. It also makes it harder to get up to use the loo. It’s just a matter of consideration for others on the flight.

HTH

Pookerrod · 30/04/2024 01:17

savoycabbage · 29/04/2024 19:36

I once got moved to business class because the bloke on front of me refused to move his seat upright. That was emirates. He argued with the cabin crew for ages first.

The seat in front of me on a BA flight to NYC got stuck in recline and the crew couldn’t fix it which meant it was very difficult to eat. The plane was full so they couldn’t move me. But they did bump me and DH up to business for our return flight back to the UK which was a nice surprise.

Starlight330 · 30/04/2024 01:18

Belladonna90 · 29/04/2024 22:04

Just a few things to clarify!!
We departed at 2000 (local time) and food was served three hours later. Unlike many whom have assumed I have not travelled much...the usual standard service on flights that depart at this time is a light bite like a hand held pizza and a drink from the bar and then a hot breakfast is served about 1.5hr before landing. Hence why I reclined my seat as I was not expecting a meal so late after take off in particular a hot dinner at that time.
If this was a day flight I of course would not of dreamed of reclining my seat. However, for a night flight I think it is entirely reasonable to expect that people will want to sleep. Be it US or UK time zone I think it is unusual for anyone to have beef and mashed potatoes at 11pm/4am and the natural thing to do is to sleep and not eat. Be it a Boeing or Airbus aircraft, engineers design the seats with it in mind that tray tables can still be used even if seats are reclined otherwise . Also for those who have said Emirates, Singapore have the same policy....
In both these airlines for night flights you get the option to put a 'DND' or 'wake me for food sticker'. Perhaps you have only travelled with these airlines on day flights.

Although I agree it would have been far more polite to have tapped your shoulder to waken you, all I can think about is reading your post using the word of instead of have. Why does this make my toes curl?
🤦‍♀️🤣

exomoon · 30/04/2024 01:32

Belladonna90 · 29/04/2024 22:19

It's a combination really....
I think instead of jostling my seat up I would of found it more respectful if she had asked or tapped me so I wouldn't of gotten such a fright (my partner was beside me and she asked him was I eating, he said no and then she proceeded to ask the person behind me and then jostled my seat up). For me it is also the fact that it is so late in the night and at least 3 hours after take off. It is to be expected people want to sleep. I never knew that on a night flight eating had a higher priority than sleeping....we were both paying passengers . A lot of posters have lambasted me for saying I should of booked business class instead of economy (good luck trying to get a business seat on a JFK service at short notice!). It's surely the luck of the draw in economy in terms of comfort...and the lady behind me had to expect on a night flight people will want to sleep and their chairs will be reclined.

Show quote history

Ok, I agree that she should have woke you up first or asked your DH to wake you.

And that they should have done the meal earlier.

Did they also serve breakfast later?

PrincessFionaCharming · 30/04/2024 01:38

Lol sorry but this is so funny.

goldenretrievermum5 · 30/04/2024 01:53

Not another selfish, entitled seat recliner - glad to see that an extra inch or two of ‘comfort’ for you (let’s be honest, it doesn’t actually help) was more important in your eyes than the stranger in front being able to actually eat their meal

Kandalama · 30/04/2024 02:04

I’ve travelled with Emirates and on many long haul flights.
They always ask for seats to be in the upright position so people can eat.
Lights on seats up….wakey wakey we re in a new time zone now!

How. OP, did you think the person behind you was going to eat?