Would you have thrown the shoes away?

[ChilliChilly]

I have young kids and they leave their shoes everywhere, as do I sometimes. We have a shoe rack but with 2 pre school kids shoes end up in strange places

I collected all the shoes in the house while tidying last week. Gathered them all in a large canvas bag. Put the canvas bag in the sitting room (nowhere near a door)

DH was at home by himself and took the huge bag of shoes to the clothes bin and they've all gone. Including some of mine.

He says I'm mad gathering them in a bag and he thought he was 100% safe to presume they were to be thrown out

AIBU to think a quick call or message to ask is a reasonable expectation?

I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d throw out a bag full of shoes which I knew were still in use without checking first.

What was he thinking?

Communication clearly has fallen down here but I can't think why you'd have packed the shoes up in a bag for any other reason? Why specifically a bag? It does imply you're removing them from the house.

Blimey, no. Your husband is the one who's mad.

I can neither understand why you put all the shoes in a bag or why he thought to throw out a whole bag of stuff without checking

Don't leave your handbag laying around. That'll be next.

I can see how he thought they'd be for the clothes bin. I'd have checked before taking them, but I'd have assumed the same.

My daughter left her brand new Nike Air Force trainers in the back of husband’s car. He “naturally “ assumed they were for the charity shop…

It was a big canvas bag not a plastic one. I was collecting all the shoes in one place and then planned on sorting them this weekend, cleaning the ones in use/that still fit, organising the shoe rack, putting away winter boots, and making a small pile to take to charity shop.

I would never get rid of stuff without checking that it was done with!

Wtf was he thinking?

Wouldn't you have had to walk past the shoe rack (assuming it's in the hall) to get to the sitting room? Why not just put the shoes you've gathered back on the rack.

Surely if you were tidying them then just put them back on shoe rack or in shoe owners bedroom? The fact they were bagged up makes it look like it would be thrown out. Shoes in a big bag, it could be confusing if you get rid of old clothes etc in this way. But it's done now. My dad used to throw out Christmas presents along with rubbish on boxing day. He poured the Christmas gravy down the sink once when trying to 'help'.
I'd say it's both your fault a little bit, but mainly him. Hope the shoes weren't expensive?

I wouldn't have thrown them away but did you say to him they'd all been put there for a reason?

If this was a bin bag by the front door then yeah you'd have been daft to do that. But a canvas in the sitting room, what a dick move from him!

That is quite WEIRD of him

However I’d assume he meant well so you’ll have to restrain yourself from bollocking him from a height..

But he needs to use his common sense in future

But did your husband know this? People are not mind readers.

I wouldn't, but I would say to my DH not to throw it away and I'm just waiting to sort them out just incase. He probably thought he was being helpful.

I wouldn't have made that assumption, no.

did you lose you shit at him op?

i’ll take a punt that not one single pair of shoes in the bag belonged to him?

How weird. Even if I was quite sure a bag of stuff was for the bin/clothes bank/whatever, I’d still ask! What an idiot 🤦🏼‍♀️ Surely one glance at the shoes inside would’ve seen him recognise that some of the shoes were still in use by the kids/were yours?!

Indeed not, which is why it's essential to talk to each other. Oh dear, OP, I'd have been flabbergasted in your shoes (assuming you still have some).

common sense?

I find it bizarre that someone would throw out shoes or anything else in this situation- I often gather items of clothing etc up for dry cleaning or mending and so on and often leave them sitting in a bag.

How can he have thought that you’d suddenly want to get rid of so many shoes at the same time.

Shoes nowhere near the front or back door?! He should have checked.

i’d wager this isn’t a happy marriage generally