To be gutted that I’m selling my car and giving up on driving

[utuyuutjg]

I’ve had my driving license for around 10 years, and in that time I’ve struggled a lot with driving anxiety, I’ve never driven more than maybe 10 miles away with a passenger next to me, and alone I’ve never driven further than the supermarket. I’ve had 3 different cars and blamed it on each one, well I finally got a perfect automatic car that I absolutely love but I’ve realised it’s never been the cars that have been wrong, it’s me. I can’t shake my fear of driving, even though I can drive perfectly fine.

I’ve put my car up for sale today as I’ve only driven it once this year and it’s just a waste of money for it to just sit there. But I feel so sad and gutted. I’m 30 and it seems too young to be giving up on driving. I’m sad that driving was never a source of freedom and independence it was for my friends, it was just stress and anxiety.

There are other ways to get around that are far more freeing

If you don’t want to give up why not try further driving courses like pass plus or something similar? It is young to give up and depending on where you live it may not be practical long term. I can’t see why you need to give up on something for life if you don’t actually want to. Maybe view it as a break and leave yourself mentally open to it again in the future.

Out of genuine interest, like what?

I'm 39 and never driven for the same reason.

I sympathise.

I had to give up driving for health reasons. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Ironically, what I have seen on the road since then, I think anxiety might have affected my driving later on.

But yes, you have my full sympathy.

However, I do believe we have both done the right thing.

Officially, I could have carried on driving, and I think I could just notify the DVLA of my condition? But I didn't think it was responsible to do that.

I was nowhere near as good a driver as I used to be.

I didn't want to be one of those really crap drivers you see on the road.

So you have done the right thing.

But you will probably be inundated with posters telling you to keep trying....

I still have family and friends who don't understand my decision, so gird yourself. But have some 💐 I know how you feel. Was in my 30s when I had to stop.

Keep the car and take counselling courses, and/or hypnotherapy, first.

Is it only with driving that causes this anxiety or for other things too? Medication might help as I know people can get some just for their driving test. Speak to your GP before you do anything.

I can get by with public transport and have been doing so already (walking past my perfectly fine car to walk to the bus stop in the pouring rain…) I work from home or in London which I take the train to. I’ve wasted thousands of pounds in cars and car insurance, and tried so many times to drive including having extra lessons. It just seems silly to carry on like this

If you've only driven it once in four months, seems you can live your life without it, no big loss

I actually think you’ve done something really positive.

There was a thread the other day when a poster says she won’t go above 45mph because of fear and has taken to driving huge cars to stop others overtaking her/not feel intimidated by disgruntled drivers backed up behind her. She doesn’t have the skill set to be driving and is indeed a danger to the roads. She sees no wrong.

You’ve recognised there’s a clear issue with anxiety and know this is a bad combo with driving, where you need to have confidence in your abilities.

However, don’t write yourself off forever. Maybe you’ll go back to it on a few years after taking some lessons. Or maybe taking the bus etc will become such a pain you force yourself to drive again.

I just don’t want you to feel like a failure. I think this shows how intelligent and perceptive you are. All things that will make you a good driver one day.

I don’t drive far, but being able to get to the supermarket and take my kids to their friends houses is really helpful.

I’ll never be able to drive on motorways or through busy city centres, but I’m ok with that. Being able to drive has still improved my life, just not as much as others!

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, why not keep the car and use it for the things you are comfortable with and maybe in time you’ll go further (but you don’t have to)

It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Driving isn't for everyone and it's great that you are accepting that - and I'm sure you have things that you are great at!

Driving these days is very stressful indeed. Potholes, too many cars, too many road signs, so many roundabouts and traffic lights and speed cameras. Tiny parking spaces. I don't blame you at all for wanting a more stress-free life.

Cars are costly to run, think of all the money you're saving and supermarkets deliver.

Have you tried therapy for the driving anxiety? Can you remember when/why it started?

Please don't give up if you don't want to.

Have you considered extra lessons like PassPlus? I was a really nervous driver but I then moved somewhere where I had no choice and it was surprising how quickly it just became second nature when I knew there was no other option.

On a positive note, you have learned a new skill. Who knows when you may need to drive in future? My elderly neighbour only kept up her driving in case she had to take her DH to hospital.

A space rocket.

I had to give up driving 5 years ago down to a chronic health condition. I take taxis 3-4 times a week and spend far less than the cost of running a car.
Yanbu at all, I totally get it. But it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do things/go places. And it does mean that all that driving anxiety will disappear, sit back and call a cab instead!

Ooh I've never tried that 🚀

It seems a shame to give up now. If you really want to drive can you try something for anxiety?

If I could wave a magic wand and never drive again, then I would. I have been driving for 40 years and I do not enjoy it any more.

In my area, there are far more cars, local amenities have closed so more traffic on the main roads as people have to travel to do stuff they could have walked to previously, plus the roads are disintegrating!

You have passed your test, you are just giving up a car, not your licence. So don't be sad, it's a decision taken that is relevant for now. Who knows where you will be living or what your life will be like in 10 years. You might chose to drive again in the future.

I’ve been driving for around 10 years. I hate driving, I’m shit at parking and can never judge if my car will fit through gaps or into parking spots etc. If I could get away with using just public transport I would. Don’t be so hard on yourself, drivings not for everyone and as you’ve said you really don’t need to drive

I think it’s a good thing when people recognise that driving isn’t for them.

i have a relative that took 16 attempts to pass their test and is an absolute danger on the road but people kept on and on and on and on and on at her that it’s a must have skill and she should just keep practicing.

The roads would be far safer for everyone if people who shouldn’t drive didn’t.

See it as a positive that you’ve recognised that it’s not doing you any good and wasting money.

I dont drive far. I'm not a long distance driver but it gets to me work, do school runs and days out. That'll do me lol If I need to travel further a field I love a train ride where I can kick back and relax.... when they're not striking that is lol 😆 I've learnt limitations. I'm confident on the roads I know, but you wouldn't see me driving up the M1 lol

I wish more people followed suit

Same 😏 wish I could though