To be gutted that I’m selling my car and giving up on driving

[utuyuutjg]

I’ve had my driving license for around 10 years, and in that time I’ve struggled a lot with driving anxiety, I’ve never driven more than maybe 10 miles away with a passenger next to me, and alone I’ve never driven further than the supermarket. I’ve had 3 different cars and blamed it on each one, well I finally got a perfect automatic car that I absolutely love but I’ve realised it’s never been the cars that have been wrong, it’s me. I can’t shake my fear of driving, even though I can drive perfectly fine.

I’ve put my car up for sale today as I’ve only driven it once this year and it’s just a waste of money for it to just sit there. But I feel so sad and gutted. I’m 30 and it seems too young to be giving up on driving. I’m sad that driving was never a source of freedom and independence it was for my friends, it was just stress and anxiety.

I am 29 and still don't drive for this reason. Everyone keeps pressuring me to learn and I have taken lessons but I have a legit fear and anxiety and I can't imagine driving alone with my kids.

I have been driving for 30 years. I only drive to work, to see friends and family and locally for shopping and days out. I am too scared to go on motorways. I can drive on them if someone is with me but otherwise I have a full blown anxiety attack, I recognise this makes me dangerous so I keep to my limits.
The local driving I do is an absolute lifeline. It means I am independent. I would urge anyone that even if you a nervous driver to think twice before you give up, especially if you live in a rural area. Even if you can only get to your local Tesco and back it is a huge help.

You're wrong on 50% of that

I hear you, OP.

I can no longer drive. I used to love it. I would just drive aimlessly (no destination) with music blaring. It helped my mental health a lot, and was very therapeutic! I also had to sell my motorbike. I ended up crying so much... pathetic really.

You seem very absolute when you're telling me what I "can't" do. I'd understand if you said that you wouldn't be prepared to do something, or that it might be difficult, but imagine telling me that things I do can't be done.

Why can't someone do the school run with two kids on a bicycle? When the kids are small you use a bakfiets, a child seat on the rack, or a trailer. When they get bigger they can ride independantly alongside. When I used to ride to secondary as a teenager I always used to pass a father escorting his daughters to the primary in the opposite direction, I thought that was a lovely routine, quite an improvement on the behaviour that school drop-offs are often associated with.

Why couldn't I do a big shop? My pannier rack is rated for 25kg so I used to sling a sack of spuds over them every few months. I've now got a trailer rated for 40kg, and there are heavy-duty options if I really wanted them.

Motorways are never the only possible route to somewhere. If I want to go anywhere further afield than I would be prepared to cycle, I just ride to the station and catch a train. I can't think of anywhere I might want to go in the UK that I'd consider inaccessible.

You've definitely got a point there.

You can't think of anywhere in the UK you can't get by train... ok then.

"I can't think of anywhere I might want to go in the UK that I'd consider inaccessible." were my exact words. For that matter I can't even think of anywhere I don't want to go that I'd consider inaccessible. Some combination of train/bike/bus will get me there.

Go on, try me. Stick a pin in a map and I'll tell you how I'd get there. You never know, I might even have already been there.

OK, I'll rephrase it.
Public transport is woeful where I live.
HTH