To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

Same. Unless shoes were very wet or muddy it was never a ’thing’ in my family/friends when I was growing up, and still isn’t. I know only one person who insists - she has virtually white carpets downstairs - but I rarely see her anyway.

FWIW, we have had our own dds and later, 3 x little Gdcs, crawling all over our carpets/hard floors, and AFAIK nobody has ever caught anything from them. Should add that we’ve also had cats and dogs and they have never been required to take their paws off, either.

I often think there is an unhealthy obsession with “hygiene” - I use quote marks advisedly - among some MNers.

I'm amazed how many people wear their shoes in other people's houses. It's weird and rude. I'm with you OP.

I feel like this is something that’s gradually changed over time in parts of the UK. Thirty or even twenty years ago it wouldn’t have occurred to me; now it’s something I ask automatically as I go into someone’s house and I’d say almost 100% of visitors to my home do (south east). Maybe due to broader cultural influences from Asia and Scandinavia?

The guy who came to sort out the electricity meter last week took his off without being asked (I wouldn’t have asked him but I appreciated it), and another guy did some work in the loft and brought shoe covers. All my kids’ friends have done it from a young age.

It doesn’t massively bother me because I want guests to feel comfortable but I guess now I notice it much more when people don’t even ask. And I’d only ever mention it myself if they’re going upstairs into bedrooms, never if they’re just visiting or coming for dinner.

I'm a wheelchair user. What would be the point in me taking off my shoes? Would you expect me to remove my wheels? Or just not be friends with me in case I got dirt on your floor?

My takeaway from this thread is that the "shoes off inside" crowd don't clean their floors often enough, and this makes me even less inclined to take my shoes off ta anyone else's house. I'm not concerned about outside germs on my floor as it's cleaned regularly and nobody is eating off the floor.

100% this.

If dog owners didn't let their dogs shit all over our streets this wouldn't be a problem.

“Ooh, not that I’m being in any way pompous, but my house is spotless and pristine and immaculate - not like the revolting shitholes some of you beshoed people must live in with your filthy feet! Surely everyone should just know how perfect my house is?!”

🤮🤮🤮

My ankles collapse if I take my boots off for too long so yes there are reasons to keep them on.

What sort of precious carpets do you have in the UK? I've lived in houses with carpet my whole life (I'm nearly 65) and have yet to see one being ruined by people wearing shoes.

Isn't this why we have doormats though? So people can give the bottoms of their shoes a clean and shine up before walking round the house?

I have a shoebrush outside for mud and leaves, a rough doormat outside for dust and dirt and a long doormat in the porch to dry and shine- nothing gets past my shoe shine trio.

Once again, you must have very odd carpets in the UK. I don't know anyone who regularly replaces their carpets because they have been ruined by people wearing shoes, and I don't actually know anyone who doesn't wear shoes inside.

Its not so much they regularly replace them specifically because of shoes, but carpets are subject to wear and tear and eventually need replacing. I feel shoes are heavier wear and tear than changing into slippers or feet, particularly if they arent clean shoes. If you havent got much money you take better care over what you have than if you think its ok in 10 years time i can just get a new carpet.

I am almost 65 and have never lived in a house where the carpets have been replaced every 10 years! A little bit of wear is not a reason to replace the carpet.

Yes, I wondered about this upthread. Curiously neither OP nor any of the other no-shoe posters has anything to say about it (except the person with the remarkably rude doormat).

I remembered just before an incident years ago when a tradesman left his boots at my door. I'd never seen that before and my inner reaction was surprise and "ew". It's not your house, mate, who invited you to walk around in your socks?

Same, I've only lived in one house where the carpet was replaced, and that was done before I moved in. (Sigh - best thing about that house, lovely sort of marled cocoa colour, a synthetic blend that was very easy to clean and didn't show the odd bit of cat puke.)

I think if that's what you took from me stating facts that my house is spotless and pristine you need to spend a good amount of time sorting yours out, no need to project your inner thoughts about your home being a shithole onto me - I'm not obliged to live in one because it's makes other people feel better and at no point have I used any of those terms? The cleanliness of my home is relevant to my views thank u hun xxx

While you are probably right in 90% of cases I think people might have good reasons.

There were a couple of teenage years for me when my feet really stank despite washing daily. I had sweaty feet and hands. We had to walk long distances between buildings between classes and don’t don’t always get a chance to wash your feet in the day. Also not everyone can afford multiple pairs of shoes and rewearing stinky shoes with clean feet soon raises a stink again.

I’d have been so embarrassed to remove my shoes because their hallway would absolutely honk and people would have thought I was dirty and disgusting. It really did smell bad.

Just catching up, a door mat at best will get off loose debris but will never be as clean as shoe less feet. I feel like doormats are there as a welcome mat and a place to scrape shoes but not an invitation to keep them on, more to remove leaves or whatever else for you to put them on again later.

We don’t wear shoes in the house now and I automatically start taking mine off in other peoples although sometimes people say don’t bother, but if adult guests come to us and see me and DH in socks or barefoot and walk past the shoes by the door then I don’t ask them to take their shoes off. I just clean when they’ve gone. It likely they have a reason not to.

When I was a child, shoes off houses were really, really rare. It’s definitely changed over the years.

I'm really glad we've got dogs and a cat,

2 vacumn cleaners , carpet cleaner and a mop and bucket are useful I find.

Maybe people should put in those troughs with disinfectant for guests to get clean before entering.

Depends on the house. If I'm walking through a back or side door into a hard tiled farmhouse kitchen, with a resident dog, then I'm unlikely to ask unless my boots are muddy. Most houses I would.

As far as I'm concerned, my home and everything in it is for the convenience and comfort of my family and my guests. While i like it to be pleasant, It is not some precious artifact to be faffed and fussed over and displayed for admiration. I'd never sacrifice comfort or convenience of my household and guests in the hope they will enjoy looking at an immaculate home more than feeling relaxed in it. Because they won't.

I have teenage boys with lots of teenage friends. I would definitely not count on their bare feet being cleaner than their shoes

Sorry OP, but you see it wouldn't even occur to me to take my shoes off. It's simply not the done thing where I live. Nobody does it so, no, it's not obvious.