Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

What did you not understand about the point that female victims are not taken seriously either.

I think it's almost impossible not to see an element of female privilege both with Gadd's story and the responses here.

Generally the way the protection offered to victims of abuse is poor, but it's worse for men at times. There is a scene in the show where the police tell him that they don't take female abusers as seriously as male ones.

Hmm. That photo.... The BBC aren't the best at getting sexes right.

I'd take that with a pinch of salt.

Victims across the board need better treatment, but within the category male victims are worse off than female. They are apparently less likely to be abused but I wonder if that's partly due to lack of reporting.

Not you again.

I think it’s impossible for you as I think you’re probably a bloke.

There are many dead women’s families who could tell you police didn’t take the male abuser seriously until after it was too late. And that is not dialogue in a fictionalised account, it is fact.

FEMALE victims are also not taken seriously.

You read these headlines saying "Men say X or Y isn't taken seriously" and from that you come to the conclusion that that means that women are taken seriously, even though that's not true.

https://www.theguardian.com/law/2011/nov/13/stalking-not-taken-seriously

There's an article from 2011 saying that
Most victims of stalking who turn to the criminal justice system for protection say it is failing them

Two-thirds of victims said the police and Crown Prosecution Service did not take their complaints seriously enough, with offenders not being charged in nearly nine out of 10 alleged cases.

And that
The majority of victims are women

There's another article from 2022 which shows that it doesn't seem to be taken seriously at all for anyone.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-63668714

If that were true more men would end up dead at the hands of stalkers than women. But that is far from the case.

And that tragedy means we should treat male victims with suspicion??????

It's an odd outlook.

That's because the abuse patterns and numbers are different, but it doesn't excuse distrusting male victims.

Said who?

What an odd inference.

It doesn’t excuse distrusting female victims. Stalking just isn’t taken seriously.

That's not disputed, victims are generally treated badly. But for males it's worse, partly because it's seen as more rare.

I can quote Guardian sources for this also: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/mar/12/male-victims-abuse-violence-support-policy

No victims should be distrusted.

But for males it's worse

Just stop.

Bloody hell, really? I had questioned so much and yet assumed that was true. Very much goes to highlight what so many people are saying about the blurring of lines between fact and fiction. So easy to get confused even when you think you're aware.

Correct. It’s not worse for one gender or another, it’s bad for both.

Being a male victim is statistically less common, but for those who are support is harder to find.

If you think all victims should be treated with the same care and trust regardless of sex then I think we are on the same page.

Id add its much more common to happen to women but for men it's a harder battle to get help.

It's impossible to actually see female privilege in it unless you're blatantly trying to twist things.

It's not 'worse' for men. Most likely if Gadd was a woman she would be fobbed off with a different excuse....perhaps just told she was 'low risk.

Look at that big gang of those absolutely disgusting vile pigs who were sentenced today for abusing those girls. I wonder how many reports did the police ignore there and turn a blind eye to and what was the excuse given.
I'm sure there will be a report in time and we'll see that the girls or those who reported it were told all sorts like the girls in Rochdale were.

Male Privilege: being less likely to be a victim.
Female privilege: better support for being a victim.

Though abuse generally is not properly dealt with for all, and happens more than it ever should.

Id say the stats and evidence show that while women are more likely to be victims, on the rarer occasions that they are the perps they get an easier deal. This is shown by sentencing stats for same crimes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/81a8f303-5849-45b8-85a0-e8532b5d948b

"According to one charity, fewer than 1% of domestic abuse refuge beds in England are allocated to men, with none at all in London."

So while nobody wants to be a victim, and more are women, if you are one of the few male victims in London their is literally no support for you in some places.

Tell that to all the dead women.

If women are given better support how come so many are dying?