Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

IMO, the story would have been more useful for other victims if it had not claimed certain behaviours are the result of empathy. Empathy without boundaries is not healthy.

Sadly I think this thread shows why Gadd was right to tell his story. Too many people think that women cannot be abusers and that men cannot be abused.......

His.story was set in and around the metoo era, when some were saying "believe all women". The show he made, and frankly the stalkers own Facebook profile show how things are much more nuanced.

I have no idea, but writers like Balsac and Tolstoy totally borrowed mannerisms and physical likeness and biography of people they knew and gave them completely different stories. It is creative license… so I wouldn’t necessarily be sure that that’s real Martha. Real Martha may have been very different

Has anyone seen the actual tweets or messages from 2014 or whenever that link Richard Gadd and his stalker. Do they still exsist or are people looking at screen shots?

I've seen the tweets. They're easily found on her Twitter profile.

I don't think anyone has actually said that at all. People have said that if you say something is true.... It needs to actually be 100% true. Not blurred between fact and fiction with no distinction when real people are involved and potentially putting them in danger regardless of victim or perpetrator

No one would say jack the ripper was a good person but if someone said he killed a man on the 4th December 1863 and showed it in a 'true' TV show, that would still be wrong. It's not about praising some and blaming others, it's a whole separate issue of fact vs fiction and blurring the lines being stupid and dangerous...

They do exist. Certainly the curtains one does from 2014. But Gadds account is now dead/taken over.

Over 40 posts today on fb.

I don't think this was a wise hornets nest to stir up 😳she clearly remains quite unwell and thrives on the drama/attention which is only going to increase, I imagine.

She'll be presenting the next series of Big Brother, before we know it.

The whole thing has been handled terribly and I can't help but wonder if Gadd also thrives off this toxic high drama. The stalker has now become the stalked, hounded by the general public and the press.

@JustWhatWeDontNeed@BodyKeepingScore

So did you see the actual tweets on Richard Gadds account?

My brother had an ex who I feared would kill him. My worries were not taken seriously because she was a she. Everyone tolerated her bad behaviours - breaking into our home to continue a fight, her verbally slagging off his friends and family, feigning injuries allegedly from him - oh I saw it all. She is still a horrid person and I've since heard from others she was dreadful to other boyfriends.
But women stalking men is not taken seriously.

I've had a stalk. I can see people have seen the tweets on the woman's account but I can't see anyone saw them on RGs account? Surely someone would have a screen shot somewhere if they were still in about with the last few weeks?

They're her tweets tagging him. I assume they're real. They're very old. But it's not keeping me awake at night tbh. His account is dead/hacked/locked so you can't view it.

It's all very easy to find if you're that way inclined, but not particularly interesting and as I say, she's clearly relishing the attention so she is absolutely going to be exploited by some unethical press sources. I don't think the mentally unstable should be used for public entertainment, personally.

The amount of randoms who are now no doubt communicating with her will result in who knows what shitstorm.

@JustWhatWeDontNeed

I get that those tweets are hers. It's just that people have been suggesting he had left the messages on his social media when it doesn't appear that he had.

Look at Jimmy Wray + stalker and Donald Dewar + stalker.

Slightly off the point but I thought BR was leagues ahead of IMDY. It wasn’t trying to be “woke” or cram in every possible social issue of the day. IMDY was similar to Sex Education in that respect.

BR showed the complexities of stalking and sexual assault and the trauma caused by it.

I had the same with my ex who was a man.

When he was trying to break into my home threatening to kill me and acting extremely aggressively outside I called his family, who took forever to show up to get him. When he came back the next time they didn't care.
His friends all knew what he was doing aswell because it spread around the area like wildfire due to all of the stuff he was shouting etc., They just brought him drinking knowing exactly what he was going to do and who was going to receive the worst of it afterwards.
All of his friends and family enable him and feel sorry for him when he gets dumped and blame the women!
He hasn't had any issue getting new girlfriends even though some of them know how bad his behaviour was. And he's not a looker, in fact the opposite and is distinctly unattractive, but he's an expert in making people feel sorry for him.

I didn't go to the police due to previously calling them and not being helped.

I think they explored it in different ways. I loved the many endings of IMDY - in which she enacted all her revenge fantasies. To me, that was very emotionally believable.

But I agree that one of the brilliant things about BR is how well he explores the complexity of the situations and actual responses to abuse and trauma, which are not as straightforward as people want them to be.

i think it’s some sort of hoax now - it’s all a bit convenient, why would she after all of that just be so open on social media and legally how did this all get put out when there are legal risks and mental health risks …

it is a great, painful watch with some awful events and i’m so sorry for any victims but i am starting to wonder if it is some kind of bs.

@TheMerryTiger
And also a friend of mine had an ex also who would harrass her all day and all night.
And the amount of his friends/family and random acquaintances who helped him was ridiculous, they would let him use their phones, they also used to drive him to her house when he was drunk because he wanted to try to talk to her. When she went to the police he stopped but his family would all look her up and down like she was a piece of dirt when they saw her, even though he wasn't punished in any way.

@WellThatEndedBadly
Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland) Jan 30 2000/Apr 28 2002
Daily Mail Apr 27 2024
The Sun Apr 27 2024

And me please? 🙏

But women stalking men is not taken seriously

You think men stalking women is taken seriously? It’s not. Read about Gracie Spinks RIP 2021, Andreea Pintili 2023 (survived).

I think it's a good thing he exposed her. He did a public service.

He’s as tapped as her and totally gets an ego trip off someone finding him so interesting

People always think that crimes against women are taken way more seriously than crimes against men or even just in general, even though they're not.

Legally most get off with a slap on the wrist, and socially most men get to carry on as normal. Their families and friends tend to stand by them and women are get into relationships with them/or stay with them even if they know their history!