Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

I've found her quickly on Facebook, her posts are very disturbing, I'm cross about it because it's very dangerous to goad someone like this. The media are all about money, she's not innocent but equally she's not well.

I’m not judging, just surprised that people are spending so much time looking at her social media.

I looked yesterday but haven’t been back since because it made me uncomfortable. Like I said, she’s clearly very unwell.

I decided to give her side when the poster above said "We don't need to hear from her, or indeed bother with courts anymore. Let's just stick to trial by Netflix and social media."
It took all of five minutes.

By all means, delete any post I have written that you deem breaks MN guidelines but do note, I have never named her or others involved, linked to accounts or sent PMs on this forum - even though all the information is in the public domain and has been for some time.

Everyone in the programme was mentally unwell on some level.

Netflix has to hope to God she doesn’t harm herself or someone else.

Fair enough, I’m not sure why you think I was accusing you of breaking any talk guidelines, or would be reporting?

I looked out of curiosity, your posts seemed a bit deeper than that so I asked out of interest. No judgement, just out of interest.

I keep seeing "SF" named as the rapist. Who is SF?

Someone who Gadd has said is not the rapist

He has been named all over the Internet, and has strongly denied being the rapist.

Absolutely no way did they underestimate the fact that people do deep dives on things. Netflix definitely know and understand the ways in which its content is used.

Exactly, no way in hell did they put out a true story and announce that they’d used real messages and emails and think no one would look it up

Yes - Episode 4

And the fact that he said he’d changed all identifying details and nobody would recognise her.

She even looks identical to the actress that played her. He knew this would happen.

@TheShellBeach I must be rubbish at looking as can't find who SF is or any of her supposed Facebook posts

Found details of her previous stalking of Donald Dewar and his wife. It's scary.

I was being sarcastic when I said let's not bother with courts and rely on social media. I don't think we should actually do that. Or reinstate village stocks.

I have no idea whether she's innocent or guilty of anything and neither does anyone else. All anyone knows is one man's account, which by his own admission, is partly fiction. And according to his play he was also interviewed under caution. Which may or may not be true.

For those who think "Martha" or "Darrien" deserve to be outed by the show and witch-hunted because they are bad people: there is an Italian psychologist who some fans thought was the real "Teri" due to her job and some physical resemblance with Nava Mau. She's had to post on her socials that she is not Teri, not trans, and for people to leave her alone about "Baby Reindeer" and stop messaging her that she should get back together with Richard etc. The blurring between reality and fiction in this show can be dangerous for a lot of bystanders.

Netflix has many true crime series including documentaries, but I'm not aware of any of them generating such a frenzy. I think because it's also art, not just a documentary, the emotional response from the audience is stronger; but: because it's "real", not just art, their emotional response spills into real life. It may also be the case that because it is a more unusual story, a male victim generates more sympathy (rather than less as it is usually claimed).

The discussions and debates on here are very interesting.

I don't normally watch true crime series, so correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the others come AFTER the facts have been established in a court of law? Rather than one man saying bits are real, bits are fiction, but it's "emotionally accurate" so I can say what I want pretty much?

I think the whole thing is a shit show and to be honest I regret watching it and regret looking up the gossip online. It's not entertaining anymore and I feel quite dirty.

You could say the same about lots of shows/documentaries … I started watching baby reindeer but stopped at the canal scene when she was chasing him and then touched him….
But I watched ‘can I tell you a secret’ which showed the victims and named the stalker… you could argue that when he gets out he will seek revenge on them because of the documentary!

@TheShellBeach
Quite.
And that's why some people are saying he is as bad as she.

You'll see for yourself when you watch it till the end

That's the whole point of the show though. He didn't like himself any more than anyone else. He didn't like or approve or understand his own behaviour. Thats why the show is so interesting. It's his 'honest' account. He doesn't try and justify his behaviour either.

He could easily of written a show where he was the type of rape victim and victim of stalking that people would be sympathetic to but he's chosen not to. I think that is a good thing.

I've seen many threads on Mumsnet where women are struggling to accept that they have been raped or sexually assaulted because they think they were complicit in what went on, "I didn't tell him to stop" "we'd already had sex a few times and I'd enjoyed it" or even the depressingly common "we were both extremely drunk".

We don't know what the situation was with the rape in the show verses real life. It's not really up to anyone to speculate either.

@JojoSeawitchHasBeenABadBadGirl
It was then not hard to find the same woman had previous allegations (published under two different surnames) according to articles printed in the national press

Which news organization BTW please?

Gadd did not say that Sean Foley is not the rapist. Read what he actually wrote.

I don't usually watch true crime either and I'm not familiar with production processes for tv series, but I think you are right, the perpetrators have to be convicted, otherwise anyone could go to Netflix to create true crime "docs" about people they don't like with real names and all. For example, the "Tinder Swindler"(one true crime thing I did watch) was convicted to prison sentences in multiple countries.

Same. People are talking about a second series now and it’s possible RG has done this to get a rise out of ‘Martha’ for new material. There is a difference between a flawed victim and whatever this is.

His story highlights how dangerous female stalkers can be. It's a needed story.