Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

Sadly there are lots of unbalanced people desperate for attention out there. Some of them become stalkers. I bet a fair few will now be standing up and claiming 'I am Martha'. Because even negative attention is better than being overlooked.

if he hadn't been stalked and assaulted he wouldn't have had a story to write. He doesn't owe his abusers privacy.

But he wasn't a professional performer when this happened. He was a barman with aspirations.

I can see why he got sucked in by Martha. He was far from home, lonely, hard up, living on his ex's mum's charity, traumatised by sexual assault and by his own account , failing miserably at his chosen career path. Some positive attention from someone who thought the sun shone out of his arse must have been very seductive for him.

This is such an interesting discussion. So thought provoking.

can someone tell me how to find Martha on social media and who is sf? Please

Ffs. You lot are disgraceful. Shut up talking about it and do something else. YOU are the provokers.

PM’d you

I think it’s very unclear here who is the abuser and who the victim.

Don't think it is really. Just because someone doesn't behave the way you'd expect doesn't make them any less of a victim

That poster was giving their opinion on it though

@Lalor. That's cool. And then I give mine.

Sorry?

How on earth is the victim of a stalker an abuser?

Because he's male, and she's female?

Apparently. This thread is ridiculous.

Think about the girls (now women) who went up against the likes of Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew, Epstein. Are they asking for it by going public? And asking for what? And they are now the abusers?

In their case Epstein has been probably assassinated. That’s a lot more terrifying than Martha coming back. Yet they did it and good on them. Should they not be allowed to make a Netflix drama.

Honestly I can’t deal with this thread. So many posters tying themselves in knots. It’s an incredible story. So beautifully and brutally honestly told. It has a lot of reflection and questioning in it and rather than posters see that for what it is (a mental hangover of trauma) - are jumping on that as a weakness and justification to pile in like this.

Not going to name names but those posters should be ashamed.

I just don’t really understand any of this.
The woman who people believe to be Martha has open Twitter accounts going back years that reveal so many tweets that are so close to the story that it must have been obvious to anyone how this would play out. How could Netflix oversee this trajectory?
I’ve been reading a book which is basically a memoir about pitching and producing a series for Amazon prime , and the whole process seems meticulously legally dissected and analyzed throughout the process , with lots of hurdles along the way. It almost feels like some sort of weird social experiment we’re in, surely Netflix have similar regulations being a massive global enterprise?

Sorry, why would he not be allowed to tell his story?

When women tell their stories about men, they're brave. Yet when a man does it he's the one in the wrong?

Exactly. I've binged it this afternoon and it's amazing. He's so brave

Could this whole thing be a set up?

Black mirror style?

So a male sharing his story is a set up?

How on EARTH would he fake years worth of tweets obsessed with him?

@worrieddaughter97 at what point did I say he shouldn’t be allowed to tell his story??
I’m surprised that RG has openly stated that he didn’t want the woman to be identified, and wanted people to refrain from internet sleuthing, yet it was inevitable ( expected even) given the social media footprint of the woman involved, which simply must have been explored pre release?

Almost like it's her own fault.

Wow

She's really going off on FB

This is getting very, very ugly.

@Somepeoplearesnippy

I can see why he got sucked in by Martha. He was far from home, lonely, hard up, living on his ex's mum's charity, traumatised by sexual assault and by his own account , failing miserably at his chosen career path. Some positive attention from someone who thought the sun shone out of his arse must have been very seductive for him.

I wonder if drugs were a factor too. The fact he was only 24 when it started won't have helped either. Even in his earliest interviews that came out when the Baby Reindeer first came out as a play he was upfront about flirting with Martha and 'encouraging' her behaviour despite know she had issues. His honesty and self awareness is what made Baby Reindeer so interesting.

I hope FB take her account down, for her own sake.

@Swg Just as a rape victim might react by trying to convince themselves it's consensual because if it was rape then that means they're a rape victim and they have to live with that the rest of their lives (because if they're a victim it could happen again and that's terrifying but if it's because they screwed up they can protect themselves by not doing that)

Thanks for writing this, you have actually put into one single sentence something that I've been slowly realising and trying to articulate for over a decade. This exact scenario happened to me and still to this day I only have a max of two weak drinks unless I'm with family or few very good friends. Even though I've long accepted that it happened and that it wasn't my fault, I've only just now upon reading your post realised that this strict drinking rule still part of the "protect yourself by not doing that". Not necessarily a bad rule in itself, to be fair, but exemplary of how you react to experiences like this isn't straightforward or even something you can work out by introspection.

Yes I agree

do you have the link please? Thank you x