Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

Just Google it.
It isn't difficult to find.

But she wasn’t well disguised, so do you think it’s an ethical way to raise publicity / draw attention to a tv show? I don’t.
It isn’t about her getting what she deserves? It’s about whether these kind of standards for tv production are acceptable when real lives are involved. It was INEVITABLE how this public shaming would play out. Any tv exec could and would have forseen it. I just find it really strange.

@Knockerknocker

I’m not sure why Martha, a convicted, multiple offender is seen as worthy of protection. Isn’t it good that her name is out there so any potential future victims can be made aware?

if she wanted anonymity it would have been the work of moments to close down her accounts, or increase her privacy settings or change the names on her accounts.

Haven’t read the whole thread but to me he has made it incredibly easy for her to be found whilst simultaneously saying he doesn’t want her to be found. I’m astonished Netflix didn’t pick up on any of the old tweets from her to him during their compliance process, they are literally word for word the same. An epic fail by them.
He even named his character Donald after her first victim in the press reports. Yet STILL says he doesn’t want her to be found. Fair enough to want to expose someone if they made your life hell, but just be honest about it maybe.

A balanced person with good mental health would struggle to deal with sudden worldwide fame/notoriety.

Someone who is clearly mentally ill shouldn't be put in a position to have the world at her twitter page because of a TV show.

He could have made the show and not said it was based on real life.

He could have hidden FH better.

She isn't innocent but she's very obviously mentally unwell.

Yeah. What’s the end game here? She’s clearly mentally ill. Her suicide? Or her getting attacked by one of the death threat senders?

If you have a stalker follow the appropriate channels in the criminal justice system.

Xpost - yep.

@Somepeoplearesnippy i have no views on whether she as an individual should be protected or not, what I’m intrigued about is if (as all the pr blurb suggests) RG wanted the public to refrain from trying to identify her, then why are so many identifying details revealed? As far as the bigger picture goes, I’m not sure of the ethics of public shaming by Netflix.

Why on EARTH would she deserve to be protected?? What about how multiple victims?

As far as the bigger picture goes, I’m not sure of the ethics of public shaming by Netflix.

I am: it’s totally unethical. Regardless of the original offence. This is not the way to tackle offences or mental illness. Harassing the harasser is not justice.

Yet when it's programmes about males (which, by the way, there was a very popular series about a male stalker), everyone applauds it.

Admit you're going easier on her because she's a woman

@worrieddaughter97 you are like a broken record and your understanding of the wider implications of producing tv with such low ethical standards is limited. We have proper channels in this country to deal with criminal justice, it isn’t the job of Netflix.

Me too please!

The "proper channels" failed Richard Gadd. Repeatedly. He is allowed to use his creative outlet.

He has been completely honest and open, including how his behaviour impacted the whole thing. Showing himself in a bad light.

Still not enough for the victim blamers.

I am still agog at this thread and some of its comments and how they can't see how they are blaming the victim and wanting to support the abuser.

'he wasn't scared because he's a man and she's a woman' is what this thread boiled down to.

Not knowing a single thing about RG, I watched episode 1 and was very disturbed by RG, even more than the stalker. He had no boundaries, was deeply unlikeable, self-absorbed, and created a co-dependency with the stalker right from the word go. I watched a bit of episode 2 and switched it off after 5 minutes because I thought this man deserved everything he was inviting. To then come here and find out about the rest of it, a rough gist, validates everything I felt about RG. Martha is a simple nutcase, RG is a much more manipulative one.

Did you watch? He was failed by the police over and over again.

I'm sorry, what?

A man who was abused, RAPED and drugged by a man in a position of power, is manipulative?

Go and reverse the roles. Where a man leaves a woman in this position, and pretend it's okay.

Wow... She sexually assaulted him and stalked him and family for many many years.

This comment is disgusting.

@worrieddaughter97 Richard Gadd doesn’t sit there in a room making , editing, writing , cutting the whole of a Netflix series on his own.
I work in a creative capacity. If I attempted to incite violence and public shaming of individuals that have wronged me through my work, (tempting though that could be at times) I’d meet with resistance from almost everyone that has a stake, and who profits from what I do. (And indeed those who would be forced to pick up the pieces if I fuck up).

You can be a victim and go on to be a manipulator.

Som eA victims go on to be predators themselves.

It doesn't mean they weren't victims at some point.

Not posting that in relation to RG.

But just saying just because something terrible happens to you it doesn't mean you are always the victim and incapable of becoming something negative.

Flame away. I really dont care.

Where has he incited violence?

He hasn't. He has told his story. A story that is backed up by fact and court cases.

If the stalker has chosen to expose herself, as another narcissistic ploy for attention, that is her prerogative. Before she started posting, nobody knew who she was. She took the choice to post. He did not force her.

Why do you think that Netflix didn’t pick them up?!

There seems to be a narrative on here that Netflix have made a terrible mistake and will be sued.

For what?

They seem to think the actions of a woman are all excused because her victim is a man