Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

I only watched episode 1. I'm not going back for the rest. I found it cringy & distasteful.

@RespiceFinemKarma
I am agreeing with the OP that if he had not she would not be launching back into the behaviour she had clearly stopped. The one he has admitted he quite enjoyed and is now getting paid for.

Are you seriously suggesting that he is responsible for her behaviour. Thats not right. You are victim blaming like crazy. In the show he explored the contradictory feelings he was experience about hating the behaviour but enjoying the drama of it. It was ten years ago sad there is no suggestion he carried on enjoying the attention.

Except for making it into a stage show and selling and starring in a world wide Netflix production? Regarding the continuing enjoying the attention

I have seen people on FB sharing the profile of his stalker, and declaring that that they have messaged her and not yet had a response. What on earth is possessing people to do such a thing?

And? If it was an older male clearly stalking a young female you can bet MN wouldn't be speaking up on his behalf.

If you think Netflix lawyers would have let this anywhere near global distribution if they weren't watertight at every angle....

...then I don't know what to tell you

@Lalor
Except for making it into a stage show and selling and starring in a world wide Netflix production? Regarding the continuing enjoying the attention

Why shouldn't he?

Louder for the people in the back!

How's everyone seeing her Facebook posts. I looked her up and it seems to be her but the account is private and posts are not visible. Not that I'm nosey or anything...

You didn’t experience the whole story. Engaging with one part is always going to be unsatisfactory.

But why is he blatantly lying about it? What else is he blatantly lying about?

You're on the wrong profile then.

I was replying to this 'was ten years ago sad there is no suggestion he carried on enjoying the attention.' as there is more than no suggestion... There's a shit ton of evidence to support that 'suggestion'

I think RG is not a typical stalking victim (if such a person exists), partly because he's male and partly because he's a professional performer. He couldn't carry on his life with a new name and a new identity. He very definitely didn't come across as likeable. In some ways I was surprised at the pre-hype, as I felt the most shocking bits of BR were not the stalking but the abuse and the co-dependence between RG/Martha and RG/Darrien. He must have known that a search of his Twitter history would reveal phrases he used in BR so should have not quoted them if he really wanted "Martha" to stay unidentified. Perhaps there is a protection in having things in the public eye? Baby Reindeer was an interesting and challenging piece, not sure if I enjoyed it.

He made art out of trauma. It’s a human reaction. I’ve experienced a number of different kinds of sexual traumas and I have to say, this series does the best job I’ve ever seen of its effects and the fact it is difficult to understand from the outside. I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever watched and I’m so glad he made it. I think it has also helped men understand the trauma too - easier to understand when told from a male perspective. The victim shaming on this thread is incredibly disappointing. What would happen if all victims of sexual predators and stalkers never spoke out?! It’s a wholly positive thing he felt able to say this.

yes it was a great story and deserved to be told but he shouldn't have played himself

It was difficult to watch in many places but I found it worthwhile. It's good to be forced into uncomfortable places sometimes and this thread shows there are few obvious answers to some of the questions raised - even if we could agree what those questions are!

@W0rkerBee why shouldn't he have played himself?

Not sure why you're quoting me to make the point you're making. I haven't said my opinion one way or the other about whether I think he should have made it. A poster said there is 'no suggested he carries on enjoying attention for it' which is categorically wrong as the stage show and Netflix show demonstrate exactly that

Not all victims are shy, retiring likeable people. They're just people, faults and all. Still no reason to victim blame.

There's a newspaper report on her from when she was young and looking for a trainee solicitor's post and she was absolutely off the charts behaviour wise with three different solicitors. They said she was unmanageable and only lasted two days at one place. How in earth did she get through university? Or even school?

Can you share that article please

Yes, I don't understand that either. Michaela Cole played herself in I May Destroy You, also an autobiographical piece about someone slipping rohypnol in her drink and raping her, and then a second date rape in which she publicly outed the man and then forgave him and also ended up working with him on script development. He too was a far more successful author at the time.

Lots of similarities (except I think she's a genius) in taking control of what happened to them, processing it through reliving it in a version completely under their control, telling their stories and almost outing their more powerful abusers. I don't remember anyone suggesting she shouldn't play herself in that.

I read in an interview with him that she still contacts him via family and friends.
Why would they not block her, report to police? Why would they pass her messages on? She's clearly unwell but the whole situation is bizarre and I don't think will inspire male victims to come forward.

Found the entire premise weird and only managed one episode. Not for me.

That is really weird. And exactly the feeling I have of…ok, what’s actually going on here?