To hate Broken Homes

[MintTraybake]

Why does everyone think that a "Broken Home" is worse than staying in an abusive/loveless partnership?

I find it so gross 😬

Why on earth anyone would think blindly staying together for children is more beneficial than their children experiencing healthy relationships or healthy singledom is absolutely beyond me!

Ignoring the financial aspect - why would anyone bother!?!?!

*YABU - Broken homes are the worst
*YANBU - Healthy homes are best

it made for an interesting read though given this thread

I think the order is surely the optimal, Happy together home, down to healthy separated homes

then eventually Blended homes if that floats yah boat.

I don't think posters understand what you're trying to say op. The internet makes you realise how many people have shit reading comprehension

There we are; if debating here wasn’t sufficient you could have popped into my inbox instead.
Very unusual indeed; best wishes on your bowing out endeavors anyway.

And no; DD was referring to her other parent. The one who likes dipping all ends. ✌🏻 to each their own as we say.

Are you drunk?

Could well be the case!
The emotive topic is subjective depending on your life experiences I guess.
mine inevitably will sway one way; and others the opposite depending on how you were brought up and how your families are now.
Maybe I’ve misunderstood; but I did comment back to ask.
the person below you hit the nail On the head in a much better way than my initial post did, but alas I cannot change it now.

Wow so gaslighty - my post references “broken homes” in inverted commars, as I had seen a sad post earlier today where many many people had justified one half of a partnerships behaviors and advised them to continue. One comment was actually quoted by someone else here in this thread.
I really should be drunk to be replying to some of these comments tbh. Seems some people are very angry; about what was not meant to be a 1950’s opinion - quite frankly the opposite!

gaslighty why am i not surprised the OP throws that accusation in quite flippantly (and irrelevantly)

I read alot of posts from mainly women on here who are in dead end/abusive/miserable relationships but say they are sticking it out for the kids and as a child who was put through one of these scenarios it is the WORST thing you could do.

Children aren’t stupid, they can sense when things aren’t right/being talked about etc. You’re also setting them up for warped views on their own relationships when they’re adults. Also what happens once the children leave home and it’s just you and the person you can stand all alone? You will realise you’ve wasted valuable years for nothing.

Its always better to have two separate happy parents living apart than a toxic household.

Yeah I don’t think people realise that they’re mostly agreeing with you OP. I see this a lot on MN… extremely poor comprehension.

My parents should have split many years before my father died. Despite two parents it wasn’t ‘healthy’ and the long term psychological issues of me and my sibling are the fallout.

what people are disagreeing with is that idea that many people let alone “everyone” thinks this.

Its a view that i have seen on mumsnet maybe a handful of times as many others on this thread agree

But presumably OP is surrounded by people who think this way - otherwise she wouldn’t have started the thread in the first place.

but a large number of responses I see

Yes… that’s what I wrote and noted that I saw and see, not only on here but in “real life”.
I love progressive thinkers - but sadly that’s not everyone.
I’m glad to see views changing - just Incase that wasn’t painful obvious by my comments.

You seem to be commenting very snappy responses, not really addressing anything except being dismissive of my findings.

If yours are opposing, then great,
good for you. Glad that you don’t have to be surrounded by the antiquated opinions.

However if you feel trapped in a situation and feel bitter/are projecting - there is most definitely help out there.

That last bit makes no sense I'm assuming wine & regret are ruling your night ?

It's obvious what you meant OP (or at least it was to me) I've been on this site for ten years and I've seen it so many times that the partner or husband is a deadbeat but they stay citing 'I don't want my children to come from a broken home'
FFS your home is broken beyond repair with an arsehole living in it.
I'm a single mum. We thrived. Despite periods of poverty and hardship we got through it.

single
2 children
get on very well with my ex
as far from a “broken home” as you can imagine

brace yourself!

I don’t drink so sadly no wine… but im not sure I’m understanding ?
I assume you mean the :
YABU - YANBU part? I meant that people calling single parent or person homes “broken” is not right; and that a happy healthy home in whatever format it is is the best. Whether that’s alone or with a partner.

maybe I didn’t write it very clearly?

*YABU - Broken homes are the worst
*YANBU - Healthy homes are best

Did op bother to explain this?

And some people would still call you’re home “broken”. Which as I’ve said, I wholeheartedly disagree with.

So I’m unsure what part of it is causing so much conflict tbh. It screams projection.

The comments “warning” other people of my comments is so unnecessarily aggressive.

What would you like explained?

vote - YABU and calling homes “Broken” is fine

vote - YANBU and any type of healthy home is fine. Be that single or partnered.

There are many comments above where I’ve been understood but seemingly no one misunderstanding wants to read those.

No one intelligent agrees with what you have written in your OP. But even if splitting up is the best option, many parents seem to not recognise the impact it has on their children. It is very common when a parent gets together with a new partner, for the parent not to recognise this can cause complex feelings for their DC. I also think the impact of travelling between two houses is often minimised.

If parents acknowledge these hard truths they can put mitigating measures in place. But normally they just declare their DCs love the new partner and everything is hunky dory.

ok i’ll be clear

In your OP you very much are of the view that this is a majority view and indeed “everyone” and give the impression you think it’s a viewpoint espoused by “many” on mumsnet

And honestly… if we were in the 50s i would agree but now… i have been on mumsnet for years and i guess a handful of times ihsve seen the view (and it’s been pulled apart if ever seen!)

So my point was that it was hyperbolic

where are all these threads dominated by this view? who are these people in your RL that proclaim this view?!