Starting to get a bit disappointed in people's comments about how our baby looks

[Sevendayhigher]

This is a bit of a silly post but six months in, it's starting to bother me...

I ADORE the way our baby looks, but we're told by the same couple of people time and time again that he looks EXACTLY like DH. That's not the part that bothers me - it's their opinion at the end of the day even though neither me nor my DH see it (comparing baby photos, he 100% has my face, and it's obvious because my DH and I look very very different, but that's besides the point.)

What bothers me is this. The same people who say that our baby looks identical to DH again and again are the ones who consistently brag about the fact that their baby looks identical to themselves. And no, I don't mean they just say their babies look like them, I mean they actively say things like 'I'm so lucky, he looks exactly like me!' or 'I'd be so annoyed if anyone said he looks like my DH!' or 'He has nothing of DH in him, it's all me!' and even 'I'd feel like just an incubator if he didn't look like me!'/ 'I'm so glad he looks like me now, I felt like I wasn't his mother at the beginning!' One of them even said they were furious when a family member suggested that their son was starting to look like their DH.

It's striking me as a bit tone deaf to talk about how dreadful it is for your child to look exactly like your DH while also constantly telling me that mine does?? Just wondering if anyone had could relate. It's such a silly, petty point in the grand scheme of things but it's driving me a bit nuts haha. It's not the people themselves, as I know they mean well and they're genuinely lovely, it's just this specific thing that's making me go a bit crazy!

Who are these awful people? I have never heard of such comments.

They are being deliberately nasty. Who are these people?

You could just say "I don't think your baby looks like you...he/she resembles a potato to me"

😂

I honestly think people feel the need to say something about how babies look. Even though how they start off looking has little bearing on how they look when grown up IMO.
Also- husbands side will always tell you baby looks just like them… smile and nod!

This is weird. I wouldn’t be offended to hear my child looked like their father but nor would I be so chuffed that they look like me.

I have 3 children, one is their father’s double, one looks like me and the third is a big mash up of both of us.

Ladies in my antenatal group - the thing is, I genuinely do think they're just being tone deaf because the comments they make about how much their children look like them are said at different times to them saying that our son looks like a 'mini DH', but it's just quite frequent and I'm getting a little sick of the smugness haha!!

You need new friends..

They sound awful

My ex MIL.. always said our daughter looked like her Dad.. if anyone came to visit .. or she brought friends to see her( we lived next door) she would always say.. doesn't she look like her Dad.
She's 40 now.. and we have always been like two peas in a pod and I'm like my own Mum.. so she's like her too.
I just ignored my MIL when she said this..couldn't be bothered saying anything.

That’s odd. It is annoying when you’ve grown the baby and it comes out with none of your features and a carbon copy of your partner. However, it’s not something for those people to get so obsessive about to the point they’re commenting how much their kids look like them.

I’d be tempted to say most children look their fathers, it’s evolutionary so the fathers recognise their children when they’re born. Then just not really engage further.

Either say "meh, i don't see it" and then just carry on

(or the potato thing! or "oh all babies look like Winston Churchill / Queen Victoria to me")

Both my DC are described as mini DHs.

My eldest is 3.5 and I absolutely would not know she was mine if I hadn’t birthed her myself 😂 I’ll tell you what is annoying- she is the spitting image of my MIL! Luckily I adore my MIL, so while frustrating it’s not the end of the world. Perhaps she will look more like me when she’s older?

I have to admit, when my DS was born I did instantly recognise him as mine, my family genes appeared to be stronger, although I’m not sure that’s the case now. I’m pregnant with no.3 so we’ll see what happens this time….

In all seriousness though, this isn’t something you should get worked up about. I can see why it would be annoying if it’s delivered in a smug way, but these women are just projecting their fears, they probably aren’t thinking about you at all. And hormones are probably making you a bit more sensitive than usual.

Apparently babies look like their father so it is clear who the father actually is - I’d thoroughly enjoy pointing this out with a very innocent smile.

She's seeing what she wants to see. Somehow children look like everyone in the family. My DD looks very similar to two cousins on opposite sides of the family. My parents argue that I look identical to their aunt/grandmother who again, aren't related to each other. We are more likely to look like the same sex members of our family though imo.

People are obsessed with saying who a baby looks like and most of the time it is utter bollocks….

random strangers often commented on how much my baby looked like me - which is bloody miraculous as she’s ADOPTED!!!! No genetic relation to me at all🤣🤣🤣

Take no notice and lose no sleep or brain power over their inane comments.

When DS was born, he looked exactly like DH, so much so that I used to joke that I was going to demand a maternity test on him.
Please don't feel bad if these people are saying things in a negative way about your beautiful baby, it says more about them than you.

Agreed. Newborns look like Dad.

But my youngest from about 12 weeks managed to pull the same look my own Dad did.

Just say that you think they got the best features of both of you and move on as swiftly as possible! Most of these people really don't hear themselves. There are very few if any people who will have seen both you and your partner as babies, so most of the time it's all just babbling nonsense to make conversation and appear interested, like talking about the weather. Please don't let it get under your skin.

Very weird comments, but my own daughter looks very much like her dad, which I'm super glad about as his good looks were his only good feature 😅I get annoyed if anyone says she looks like (ugly) me (she definitely doesn't).

Wow they sound dull. Must be saying this a lot to bother you.

They do appear to be trying to wind you up/be mean. Find a witty comeback or better friends.

They sound like knobs

It sounds like they are either being a bit nasty or are just the sort of people that come out with random crap because they have to say something. It’s all ridiculous and pointless anyway, children look what they look like.

I found people that talked about their kids looks so often, very boring to be around. People are also crap at seeing through hair/eye colour to their actual features. For example, one of my kids has my brown hair and eyes so everyone says they’re all me. No actually, their features are very much like their dad.

My MIL claimed all her grandchildren looked like her, FIL or her children and seemed to want to erase the parent that wasn’t her child. 🤯

Just ignore it, even if your kids look like your partners identical twin, they’re still yours too!

🤣 Or just this as the short version.

Apparently when they are born they look more like their dads - so they are not rejected..

Always made me laugh - my first looked like her dad.. my second looked like me..

Now they look very like each other - and abit of each of us..

personality wise too