Starting to get a bit disappointed in people's comments about how our baby looks

[Sevendayhigher]

This is a bit of a silly post but six months in, it's starting to bother me...

I ADORE the way our baby looks, but we're told by the same couple of people time and time again that he looks EXACTLY like DH. That's not the part that bothers me - it's their opinion at the end of the day even though neither me nor my DH see it (comparing baby photos, he 100% has my face, and it's obvious because my DH and I look very very different, but that's besides the point.)

What bothers me is this. The same people who say that our baby looks identical to DH again and again are the ones who consistently brag about the fact that their baby looks identical to themselves. And no, I don't mean they just say their babies look like them, I mean they actively say things like 'I'm so lucky, he looks exactly like me!' or 'I'd be so annoyed if anyone said he looks like my DH!' or 'He has nothing of DH in him, it's all me!' and even 'I'd feel like just an incubator if he didn't look like me!'/ 'I'm so glad he looks like me now, I felt like I wasn't his mother at the beginning!' One of them even said they were furious when a family member suggested that their son was starting to look like their DH.

It's striking me as a bit tone deaf to talk about how dreadful it is for your child to look exactly like your DH while also constantly telling me that mine does?? Just wondering if anyone had could relate. It's such a silly, petty point in the grand scheme of things but it's driving me a bit nuts haha. It's not the people themselves, as I know they mean well and they're genuinely lovely, it's just this specific thing that's making me go a bit crazy!

Perfect response 🤣

God they sound deranged. Do you have a girl and they have boys by any chance?

Options:
"Oh that's weird, DH isn't his biological dad"
"It's quite reassuring cause the orgy we had was really quite soon before we got a BFP"
"Yeah, babies do just all look like middle aged blokes, don't they?"
"Id hate if he didn't look at all like DH, people would think I'd been sleeping around "

Just ignore them?

I’d be worried if they said the baby looks like the postman! Just ignore them

These people might very possibly find that as time goes on, the child will start to morph into the other parent. Then they can eat their words with a big cherry on top 🤣🤣

😂

I feel for you op, this drives me crazy too. I had 4D photos while pregnant and IL’s kept saying how much he looked like BIL. Now he is here they always comment on how he looks like their side. They also commented non stop on his size. He was about the 60th percentile but MIL said she’d never seen a baby so big for about 6 months. The reality is he looks like both of us and is a normal size. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much because I would have no issue if my son looked like my husband, I think it just comes off as smug and possessive. Ignore it if you can, but if you can’t I would just say you’d prefer they didn’t comment on babies looks.

People also always mention how much DC looks like DH and I really don't mind it because he is his father after all! And he looks lovely. I like the potato comment though, definitely say that lol

Op these people sound incredibly narcissistic. Wanting a little carbon copy of themselves. Imagine not wanting your child to share any DNA with their father. How embarrassing for them. Rather inbred in fact.

Spend your energy with pity for their spouse who has to hear it about their own child with this person! They cannot be a happy dynamic.

Eh, antenatal group? Give it a year and you'll have dropped all but one. 2 max.

I'd find new friends. I think they are being superior and nasty to you. As my mum would say: they're probably jealous!

Difficult to tell whose features your dc get. It seems to shift over time. I saw my neighbour's son the other day and he's really grown up and is now the spit of his dad. Before that I'd say he looked more like his mum who is Asian and his dad is Caucasian (correct word?).

My youngest clearly got some features from my dad's side of the family but then in certain expressions resembles my mum (who i look like) and as he's grown up a bit looks identical to his brother who in turn has in the past been a carbon copy of his dad.

It's very strange how family resemblance comes out.

My former mother in law did this too. My son now 21 is my double but I couldn't care either way.

It is a bit odd but if otherwise nice peiple i would give benefit if the doubt they aren't trying to be rude.

I think she loves the fact her baby looks like her but that is completely seperate to your baby looking like your dh. When speaking about your baby it is just chit chat.

If she is trying to make a dig then it is the weirdest way to do it. I would just roll my eyes and distance myself from them.

Ignore them, they sound horrible.

If they say anything to you again, say "At least my baby looks like a person, yours looks like a tomato". 🍅 🍅 🍅

People who feel desperate for their child to resemble themselves are up their own arses. It's so strange to be that self-obsessed.

Ignore, ignore, ignore .......

Generally when someone is pleased their baby is the spit of them it’s because their DH is ugly. Like phew, thank god he doesn’t look like DH!

Next time they go on about how much their baby looks like them, make a non-committal face and tell them you think their baby looks as much like them as your baby looks like you. That will confuse and stop them hopefully.

If it's annoying you, tell them! 🙄

As long as kiddo doesn’t look like the postman or your boss, you’re doing fine! Haha

A woman in our building saw our daughter for the first time when she was with her dad and whispered to him 'no offence but she looks absolutely nothing like your wife' which I thought was such an odd thing for a stranger to say. We only knew her to say hello to in passing. I wasn't there, my husband told me later and I was really hurt by it which surprised me as I'm not sure why!

What a rude, ridiculous, and nasty thing to say. The fucking cheek of her!

I love the fact that my children look like my husband; he's the love of my life! What's wrong with your child looking like the person you love so much you've married them and had babies with them?

Just read your OP but you've answered your own question in a way - it clearly doesn't matter as these women are insane.

They are saying your baby looks exactly like your DH, because in being people who need a physical likeness to (apparently) feel bonded to their child, they have proven themselves to have the self-assurance of a bubble, and will therefore be exactly the kind of people to practice stupid power plays like this, in a shallow attempt to improve their miniscule self-worths.