Male Nursery Staff

[herei]

My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

@TitanTins I understand what your saying but it's not up to a nursery to provide role models. As my child's parent I will raise them as I see fit and make sure any role model is one that I allow into my child's life. My child has a father and grandfather who are both role models. Therefore how does them seeing a male nursery assistant a role model for a 1 year old.

The main issue here is that there appears to be poor practice in place in the nursery, which you’ve witnessed

Thats an issue even if all staff are female.

Have you flagged up the solo nappy changing to the manager?

The fact that 98% of the early years childcare workforce is female and you have to go back to 2009 to find female sex abuser Vanessa George and that 2% of the workforce is male and in the shortest Google search ever I can give you a Burton man in October 2023 should tell you something about sex, child sex crimes and the risk of offending.

I can empathise op because I didn't like the idea of a stranger changing my child's nappy at all, even if it was nursery staff (male or female) and I have a little boy. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home and sent my child to nursery potty trained when he was older.
He has had the odd toileting accident and staff cleaned him up, including a male staff member but at that point my son was able to walk and talk and tell me about what had happened if he wet himself at nursery.

In my opinion children should have key workers in a nursery setting and you should have an ongoing communication with anyone who changes your child's nappy, not just see a random name written down. If you've never spoken to this man it will be adding to your anxiety.

@herei

Yes - if you see the rest of my post, I do agree with you. I wouldn’t send my DD to a nursery with male members of staff who change nappies.

You are not being unreasonable and you should be able to request that he does not change her nappy without offending anyone or being asked to leave.

When I was on the labour ward, there was a lady in the bed next to me who requested a female doctor to tend to her. When I contacted my GP surgery for a gynae issue, I was informed beforehand that the doctor was male and was given the option to change to a female. Hell I even had the choice to switch to a female masseuse at the spa once, yet you are not supposed to have a say on who changes the nappy on your completely vulnerable, non verbal baby girl!! She can't speak for herself, if you are not comfortable, you are absolutely within your rights to refuse.

Has anyone who's worked in a nursery know if I can request this.

Also some agency workers change nappies, particularly the qualified ones. Often as a parent you won't know who has changed your child's nappy.

You can request it and see what they suggest, if they can guarantee it then look elsewhere, they have to protect their staff too.

You wouldn't be happy with males providing childcare for your child yet your DP has a "proven track record of working with children" presumably those parents didn't have the same reservations you do then. Tad hypocritical that it's ok for your partner to work with children but not other men...

FFS.

Effeminate?

Because only women should work low paid jobs?

I don’t understand why you’ve started this thread OP.

If you are not happy with any of the staff, then take your child out.

You say they’re meant to do it in pairs but you know for a fact that they don’t always - this alone would be a huge red flag for me and I’m not sure why you think they’d follow your requests if they don’t follow the rules as it is.

No point in asking people here, just speak to the nursery manager and tell them you are uncomfortable with it. Rightly or wrongly so, you are entitled to your opinion and request that the male member of staff is not to change your child's nappy. You can only ask and see what they say.

Your kids are statistically more likely to be abused by the bloke you share your bed with. If you freak out about a male in a nursery or a hospital or a classroom…….Why bother with fathers for your children? That’s the greatest risk, so just get some sperm down the bank and be done with it.

@herei

I think just have a word with a member of staff, or ring them up. I think just as @Starabella states : you can request a female doctor as an adult, so you’d like to make similar request for female nappy changer for DD as a child.
Having worked in a nursery, we’d definitely accommodate specific parental requests with nappy changing.

I’m not saying women commit more sexual abuse I’m just saying that it’s not only men. There are lots of men and women I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my kids with

https://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/news-appeals/woman-jailed-nine-years-child-sexual-abuse

Well no, mainly because he's my actual partner I've known for years and years and I can trust him as much as anyone. Certainly as much as a female stranger.

I didn't say the risk was zero. I lowered the risk to an acceptable rate. No other male in my family or anywhere else changes a nappy so the risk is brought down to an acceptable level for me, personally.

It's fine if you believe differently. We all make different choices using the information we have.

You trust your husband as much as a female stranger?

In our jurisdiction you couldn't as it is protected under equality legislation. As a SA survivor I do understand but I am a mother to two wonderful sons and I am crying reading the vile discrimination if they chose to have a career with children.

I kindly suggest you all engage with support. Because there are some of you who will raise sons and they deserve to be treated equally.

I hope you secure a solution @herei .

Oh Jesus, I'll raise you three boys and I'm not crying about statistics.

@Marblessolveeverything I'm raising a son and it's depressing reading some of these comments.

You either trust the nursery or you don't
If don't trust a staff member, you don't trust the nursery