Male Nursery Staff

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My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

God, my brother worked in a nursery 20 years ago, then became a primary school teacher, then had three children of his own. No complaints from any of them. How is this still seen as unusual??

Me either. There's of course no rational reason but I just wouldn't like it either. We have had friends and family over and wouldn't change my dd in front of the males even though we know them all well and no need for concern. I wouldn't do it in front of people I know so would just not be ok with strangers. It is awful thinking that and I know that all staff would have to follow guidelines but its not for me.

Personally I don’t agree with you and think your wrong
but you feel how you feel and everyone has a right to an opinion and view on things

move your child elsewhere

and I really hope if you request the nursery don’t allow the males to change the kids they back the staff and ask you to leave

May as well tell the dad of your children not to change nappies either.

You say in your first post that you have a 'personal reason' for all this. I'm sorry to hear that.

But I think you do need to accept that this is your personal issue and not the fault of the nursery or the staff. You can be upset about it, and you can move your child to a different nursery if you like, but YWBU to suggest that it's inappropriate for a man to change a baby's nappy.

Throughout your child's life, they will at various times have male doctors, male nurses and male teachers. There's obviously some form of trauma in your past that's affecting your view on this, but I think you need to accept that you cannot possibly expect your child never to receive any kind of care from a man.

I'm all for men working in nursery's and believe it's a great role model but I wouldn't want a Male worker changing my young daughters nappy.
But this is because my daughter was abused by her step dad and we have only just found out 15 years on when she is 25. It's sad I look at men differently now.

I think the OP is allowed to have concerns. We have no understanding on why she feels like this. However, if I had experienced SA as a child (or even as an adult) this wouldn't sit comfortably with me! We are parents first and foremost and our instinct is to protect.

Can you mention to nursery and ask only a female changes her.

Haven’t rtft but had a quick google as many seem certain this can’t happen and this was the 4th story down.

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/nursery-worker-abused-young-children-9235926.amp

I really hope if you request the nursery don’t allow the males to change the kids they back the staff and ask you to leave

I dont think they would have a choice without exposing themselves to a sex discrimination action

I've said it before on here but I've worked with a few male nursery nurses in the past and they were all brilliant. .

Why can't men want to look after children for a living?

Hmm is it normal for most nurseries to have nappy changing in view of other staff? I don’t think ours does, there’s a separate nappy changing bathroom. It hadn’t it occurred to me to question it until reading this thread. 😕

There was also a woman doing this at a nursery in Plymouth that made the news years ago. What’s your point exactly?

I have no issue with male childcare staff or teachers. But I wouldn't have a male do my child's nappy changing no. The same as I wouldn't let any other random man change their nappy. DBS and background checks only work if there has been a conviction.
I do have reasons which I won't disclose on here.

Also searchable: Jayden McCarthy 18, Andrew Evans, James Riley 42, and one in Cambridgeshire whose name was protected. Really not hard to find.

Erm, someone would have still taken them to the loo!

I think OP is entirely allowed to feel how she feels.

Take your child out then.

A woman could hurt your child just as much as a man could.

If someone was uncomfortable with a woman working in a certain profession and only wanted males (or if someone said females have no place there) there would be uproar and wouldnt be accepted.

I worked in a nursery abroad for a few years and met my now very good male friend there. A lovely, kind, intelligent, hard working man.
It was disgraceful the way parents looked at him like he was scum every day, talked about him and complained about him all the time, simply for being a man and wanting to care for children.

One parent even said they wouldn't mind if he was gay🤨 hes not.

They never moved their children from there because it was too much hassle for them to find a new place, they just wanted this man to be fired...for being a man. He wasn't fired , obviously and just had to put up with the complainants.

I have no issue with male childcare staff or teachers. But I wouldn't have a male do my child's nappy changing no.

Do you understand that any setting which employs males would not lawfully be able to agree to that?

Exactly this

When we went to look at local nurseries,a couple had one or two men working there. I do think it's more common now.

If you aren't comfortable with it could you consider a childminder instead?

YABVU. She is massively more at risk from her own father, grandfather and uncle (whether you want to believe this or not).

I wouldn't be happy with a man I'd never met rubbing cream on my baby daughter's vulva with his hands either.

I couldn't care less how unreasonable that makes me.

@LambertndButler Dads don’t tend to get involved until their progeny can throw and catch..

What a load of tosh.

There’s no point in moving for the sole reason of male staff. My children went to different nurseries and both have had male key workers. You could be forever moving if you up and leave every time a male is hired.

I understand your discomfort OP but I think you’ll get used to it very quickly.

Oh my- I had my boys in the 80s, and nieces at that time too. Dads were all very involved from birth with everything. Well I chose to BF, so no bottles, but everything else.

2024 and xou make such a medieval comment. And I am sorry, but NO, this is NOT normal.

If you don't want a male doctor, nurse, midwife of carer for your child- then what can I say. For the childcare, your choice will be to do it yourself. I for one am delighted men are now seen and doing so well in such jobs and being great role models for our boys and now our grandchildren.