Male Nursery Staff

[herei]

My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.emmottsnell.co.uk/blog/female-paedophiles-how-prevalent-are-they%3fhs_amp=true

Hmm

Seems I could start naming females too...

I'm not sure if people are being deliberately dense or if they are dense-dense.

I think it's an appalling indictment of mathematical literacy that so many people believe that there is parity of sexual criminality between the sexes.

So, broadly, there are three camps of posters who believe that the op is unreasonable. And they fall into:

A) You are deliberately dense - and you intend to pretend that men and women are comparable csa perpetrators.

B) You are dense-dense - and you think that because you can point to some examples of women who have sexually abused children in childcare settings that the risk is comparable to men.

C) You openly state that there is a gulf between men and women when it comes to the risks around vulnerable children in childcare settings - but this knowledge makes you feel bad for the majority of men who are not child abusers in childcare settings and you think that parents should take one for the team, prioritising fairness over all else.

I think OP is being unreasonable because she claims to find this man creepy and she’s upset enough to stalk him on social media. I would immediately remove my child from any setting in which I was concerned for their physical safety.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.emmottsnell.co.uk/blog/female-paedophiles-how-prevalent-are-they%3fhs_amp=true

More recent cases for you

Agreed. That's fair enough. Stalking people is weird. I did say broadly.

Genuine question op, would you feel the same way about a man changing your child's nappy if you had a little boy? Because men are not necessarily safer for little boys.

Very true. I am a foster carer and currently have three boys in placement who were sexually abused by a woman (their mother). I know it's only one case but over the years have had others also.

After a horrible experience with a female gynaecologist many years ago, I secretly breathe a sigh of relief when a male gynaecologist walks through the door. However, I could of course never request a male as I would sound ridiculous or at worse a pervert myself. And of course I am being totally unfair to all the wonderful women doctors and nurses dealing with intimate matters, but I know my own experience has coloured my judgement so keep my feelings to myself.

This thread though makes me feel very, very sad.

@TitanTins I don't accept it is okay to view all men the same. To me that is a slippery slope. I want my sons to have the level playing field the same as my nieces.

Innocent until proven otherwise that isn't unreasonable

Having read the OP and their responses, YABU.

Initially I understood your concern, and I wouldn't think you unreasonable if you requested that a male nursery worker didn't change your child's nappy, and moved your child to a different nursery if they couldn't accommodate that.

I think you became unreasonable when you decided that people who look a bit creepy are more of a threat, and because you clearly have no intention of following repeated suggestions outlined along the same lines as mine.

The nursery aren't going to sack this guy on zero evidence, so make your peace with it or move your child.

So, in all honesty now, if you wanted a babysitter for your baby, would you choose 60 year old Maureen, or 60 year old Bernard? Neither of whom you know well, but its an emergency.

Put it this way, if there was an equal risk of men and women committing sexual abuse in childcare settings - you would be able to point to 98 examples of women for every two men that I could find - notwithstanding the fact that because it's such an anomaly in a man bites dog fashion, that the abuse perpetrated by women is more likely to be reported in the media. And you have an article here that links to four, one of which is unnamed and undated, between the abuse of Earl Spencer in his childhood days in the 70s and the current day.

Could you link to 98 women sexual abusers in childcare settings, for every 2 men that I find?

My sons keyworker at nursery is male. He’s excellent at his job. I find incredibly sad that men showing an interest in caring for children is automatically met with suspicion.

All nurseries need to have good safeguarding policies no matter if the staff are male or female.

Could you link to 98 women sexual abusers in childcare settings, for every 2 men that I find?

The ever moving goalposts....

That's what comparable risk would look like in terms of outcome? Do you disagree?

I'm the same, as in over all my years the only doctors /nurses I've had a problem with, whether that's with them being abusive or absolutely useless, it's always been women ones.
All the men have been lovely.
Does that mean because of my experiences, I should say I don't want a woman near me?
Of course not, as I don't automatically think they all pose a risk to me just because of their sex.

Well this was the first article I found so I can look for more

But as stated in the article there were over 100 women convicted in 2016, the last year details were available for when the article was written, and this was a massive increase on the previous data...

And, as the article also says, there's a good chance women get away with it far more than men do

Personal experience aside, female patients are less likely to die under the care of female doctors, and female patients are less likely to die under the knife of a female surgeon. It's just facts getting in the way of a feel-good narrative.

Also it's rather amusing that the % of males had changed between 80% to 98% to 95%

All without any actual data to back this statistics up

Colour me suspicious that the rise in child sex offending in women radically increases at the exact same point that the recording of sex is conflated with gender.

Ahhh

And there's the transphobia. I expected it sooner

The percent of male csa offenders or the percent of men working in childcare?

Oh bless.

Another inconvenient truth.

The scale of sexual abuse in nursery v the scale of nurses that hurt patients ? The scale of all abuse in nursery v the number of perpetrators that are male? The number of women involved in grooming and entrapment? Which scale shall we talk about or are you only interested in sexual abuse physical, emotional and neglect doesn't interest you because in nursery that's mainly done by women? How do you know what else those women do?

When I was at school a couple of girls were well known for touching other girls and forcing them to do the touching. Hands down underwear etc.

Or maybe 2016 was the year when the female paedophiles thought, let's ramp our offending up to 11 - far more likely than a change in recording, right?