Male Nursery Staff

[herei]

My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

@CoatRack

I disagree.

It’s not : Parentsnet, it’s Mumsnet. Its website title infers a female bias/discrimination : that parenting is ‘Mums’. Yes, all are welcome - but there is a strong bias towards female topics of interest, style, shopping etc.

Yet I think society would see Mumsnet as a needed space for women, as we have experienced unfair discrimination and typically been oppressed.

If a website existed called ‘Whitesnet’, predominately for white people (but all are welcome) I think, quite rightly, it would banned. It could easily become a space for dominating and extremist views. A typically oppressed race or religion would probably feel it wasn’t a safe space for them.

Have you looked at how many female midwives have been convicted of abusive behaviour etc? Do you refuse female paediatric nurses because of how many have heart or killed children?

Yes, all of this. The scale of child sex abuse is differentiated between the sexes by factors that make a mockery of the idea that both pose equal risk.

Yes, it's tough for most men that they occupy the sex class that pose the most danger and they are unfairly discriminated by people for whom observation of what is takes precedence over feelings of what should be when assessing the safety of their pre-verbal children.

Of course, it's not as tough for them as for the victims who are harmed in their wake.

I'm not sure you understand scale.

Did I say it was a man who attacked him? No your bias assumed it was. Actually a woman he was 13 in a scout uniform the leader saw it happen .....so no he didn't attack her first.

Women abuse children maybe not sexually as much but physically and emotionally

5128gp because I believe in equality because I want to see and live in a world where my sons in the here and now like my nieces are treated equally . They had no part in historical behaviour so why on earth should they be impacted?

Equality for all., anything less is a failure of our society.

Yes, because the vast majority of the care of children, both in the domestic and the public sphere falls to women. It would be quite remarkable- given the amount of labour that falls to women in raising children- if women were not significant perpetrators of physical and emotional abuse.

What is remarkably different is the percentage of women who sexually abuse children, comparable to men, even accounting for the fact that the vast amount of childcare labour falls to women.

And given that men are not less likely to physically and emotionally abused children, the sexual abuse of children is an added layer of risk that is additional.

Oh, mantras...that never ends badly.

Why do you suspect other members of your family of being potential abusers? Do they have form or something?

@Desecratedcoconut it's the one and only one to live by,🤷‍♀️.

If you're trying to argue that women are as dangerous to children as men, then telling us a story about your son being attacked on 'a night out' and failing to mention that he was both a child and his attacker was (who knew!) a woman, is something of an oversight. Regardless, 13 year old boy scouts being randomly attacked by women on nights out is thankfully very rare I'd imagine. Much rarer than attacks of all sorts carried out by men. Which is why men are percieved as the greater danger.

Your sons are in no danger of not being treated equally. In fact I'd say that its unlikely they're in danger of losing their privilege anytime soon. Consider the big picture. We still live in a world where men are in charge of all key institutions that hold power and make the decisions we all have to live by. Do you think for a moment they're going to allow themselves to be subjugated and treated as less than women? Or that women are making a power grab by wanting to exclude strange men from nappy changing?

“Why are most murders, rapes and violent crimes committed by men?”

Evolutionary psychologists, however, would say that it has more to do with our evolved sex differences and the fact that males have historically competed for status and access to females.

Sociologists will tell you that the tendency for men to be more violent than women is a result of traditional gender roles, such that in many cultures boys are raised to believe it’s important for them to be dominant and competitive, while girls are raised to be more nurturing and gentle.

A recent cross-cultural study using data from 63 countries around the world showed that male teenagers were nearly three times more likely to have engaged in fighting over the previous year than female teenagers. This difference was actually greater in cultures with more gender equality (ie, where traditional gender roles are not such an influence), so this provides support for the evolutionary explanation.

they are not treated as equal. If they go into childcare their would be the hateful questioning that is evident here.

My bias? 😂😂🤣🤣
Yes, I'm also biased to think it's more likely to snow in winter, too.

If you genuinely believe that men and women are equally likely to assault others and have similar offending rates, then I'd advise you to get off MN and maybe watch the news, read a book or something. Maybe look up male/female prisoner ratios, too. Actually, I'll save you the effort: female prisoners make up less than 4% of the UK prison population.

I would ask what your 13YO son was doing "on a night out" in his scout uniform, but then my opinions aren't based on the unsubstantiated apocryphal tales of others, chiefly because they also tend to bend to suit the argument at hand.

Yes, how are they treated equally when they're automatically looked at with suspicion and as potential attackers/perverts just because they're male?
Whatever their age.

@Marblessolveeverything

But is it a chicken and egg situation? The hateful questioning will stop when the crimes against women/children stop. And yes, globally - it is far, far more likely that men will commit these crimes more so than women. As outlined in the BBC science article I copy pasted above.

@IntermittentFarting
I would ask what your 13YO son was doing "on a night out" in his scout uniform

What exactly are you trying to get at, exactly, with that?
You do realise Scouts go out in their uniform, right? Even on a night, that they can do activities that require uniform to be worn?!
Or are we back at must have been up to no good or implying some weird pervert thing for having a uniform on?!
FFS.

Not to mention the victim blaming
Ugh on so many levels.

FFS

Why else would you be asking what a victim was doing out on a night wearing what they were?