Male Nursery Staff

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My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

You can't discriminate against all men in the workplace though as you think they're a pervert/potential paedophile.
That's discrimination whether you want to admit that or not.

If I was the nursery manager and you came to me saying you didn’t want a male member of staff caring for your child then I would simply say that it’s best you find a new childcare provider

I am sorry that something has made you feel this way but you cannot dictate how a nursery runs their business and that’s what you would be doing if you requested female only care

Why does nobody accept that I’m not trying to deny that it’s discrimination 😂 I KNOW it’s discrimination. I just think it’s acceptable discrimination.

😂You really think this post is ok and would be tolerated.

So you are saying all men are a huge risk of being guilty of child abuse?

Good luck with that. That view is not allowed in the work place.

And how is that affecting their patients?

I’m not saying all men are a huge risk. I’m saying that men who are attracted to such jobs are at an even greater risk of being paedophiles than the general population of men. I’m not even saying that all male nursery workers are a huge risk, but that the risk is high enough that I wouldn’t personally accept it as someone who has a low risk tolerance when it comes to my daughter.

Is that a joke?

Oh Ok, apologies then didn't realise you actually thought it was discrimination but that it's OK in this case.
Where does that stop though?
Racists will feel completely justified in their discrimination too, that they have "valid concerns."
So will people who are homophobic.

Absolutely nuts!

Goodluck with finding childcare and a primary school.😂

Apologies haven't rtft yet but as a worker in childcare in a very acute staffing crisis I would welcome male staff. What frustrates me is what i think is a prejudice about different professions. A child can be brought to a male doctor with a male parent or guardian or wheeled off to surgery with a male team. That's fine because they are medical professionals. Yet some people are instantly suspicious of male childcare staff.

If the OP or her child had been SA by a male in the past that would make a very legitimate reason why she might find a male member of staff changing their child's nappy uncomfortable! That does not mean all men who work in nurseries are child abusers! If I were to approach a nursery manager and tell them this and they told me to find another nursery it would horrify me! Nursery managers should listen to parents concerns and what their child's needs are!

We can't have our cake and eat it too.

Women can't complain that caring roles are seen as women's work, then think only women should do them.

Women can't complain of toxic masculinity, then scorn men who break the mold by saying "Actually, I can be nurturing, I can think kids who aren't mine are cute and fun, I can think that a career in Early Years is for me".

Exactly this, well said

Thanks for the luck! I have a female nanny and I have already said up thread that I have no issue with male primary teachers or workers.

@GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight I agree it is a slippery slope. But that’s not argument enough against it for me, many things would be bad if they spread but good in isolation.

There is no equivalence, as it is not women who commit the vast majority of child sexual abuse. Why are you being so disingenuous?

Male molesters do outnumber female ones, but then again with the way female nursery workers outnumber male nursery workers, who's to say you're not more likely to encounter a female paedophile nursery worker rather than a male paedophile nursery worker?

I’m saying that men who are attracted to such jobs are at an even greater risk of being paedophiles than the general population of men.

Is this a fact or an assumption?

You’re asking me if it’s a fact or an assumption that paedophiles are attracted to jobs where they get to be close to children? I’ll let you work that one out for yourself.

Nope Just saying it's not directly affecting their patients

I’m asking if you have the stats to back it up or if you made an assumption?

Are male teachers or male paediatricians or male therapists or male carers more likely to be paedophiles? Are male gynaecologists more likely to be sex pests?

You cannot go around assuming somebody is a pervert because they choose a certain career.

You don't think having a paedophile working with young babies is a problem??

My son started nursery when he was z2. There were 2 male workers there when he started. They were brothers I think. It didn’t even occur to me to be remotely worried Aboyne them in fact I thought it was great they had male workers. One of the men was the room leader for the room my son was in and he was awesome.

I think its worth noting that feeling uncomfortable is a personal thing and is very different from vocalising it or taking action. I can guarantee you that many many men have felt uncomfortable seeing women take on unconventional roles and thankfully keep those thoughts to themselves these days. Similarly I have no doubt that many people have felt uncomfortable with others caring for their kids due to race, religion, social class, disability etc but they (rightly) keep those thoughts to themselves because they know that it is not socially acceptable and it is discrimination. I guess what I'm saying is you are entitled to feel how you feel, but you need to suck it up and understand the problem rests with you.

I felt a little unsure when a male worker started at my daughter's nursery but didn't really feel there was any reason behind it so took no action. However, I don't think it's right to tell someone to ignore their instincts if they have reservations about a particular male worker as the OP does. Choosing a childcare setting is hugely important. These people are going to spend more time with many of these babies and children than their own parents. There may be many reasons to reject a potential childcare worker or setting that would not be valid reasons for rejecting someone in a less vital role. Whether to actually say something or whether to just move to another nursery is up to OP but I wouldn't suggest ignoring her concerns. On the other hand I don't trust anyone 100% except myself - I'd never assume a female worker to be safe.

At the risk of being accused of not being a woman or a mother:

How does anyone who is against males working in early years actually know for a fact that children are safer in a setting that only has female staff?

One of the arguments that keeps being wheeled out is "DBS checks just mean someone hasn't been caught/convicted".

Why does this rule only apply to males? How can anyone know that a woman in their child's setting just hasn't been caught? I mean it's clear from this thread that lots of pp automatically think female staff = safer nursery. Surely that's the perfect environment for a female abuser to slip under the radar, because nobody would expect her to do something like that, so they're less likely to be caught.

I'm not denying a minority of men commit crimes whilst in a child care roles. But, I do wonder how many more women would be convicted of these crimes, if women in childcare were treated with the same level of suspicion that men in child care are.