Male Nursery Staff

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My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

This has to be one of the wildest threads i have ever read on Mumsnet. 😭😭

It’s just how comfortable you are with different risk levels. We both agree that men pose a higher risk to children than women do (I assume), and that discrimination is sometimes ok. We just disagree on whether the balance is tipped in this specific scenario.

FWIW I only have this view for extremely young children in nursery who cannot speak up for themselves. I have no issues with men in primary or secondary education. I do have issues with male midwives, but that is a separate discussion…!

Then pay for a only female nursery

Maybe you should take your child out nursery if you don't think it's a problem

It's ok to discriminate against paedophiles working in child care . It's not ok to discriminate against a man working in childcare

https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/features/article/men-in-childcare-in-the-balance

You are not unreasonable to have an opinion but maybe think about why you feel that way. Might be something you want to talk to someone about. Agree with PP that strong male role models in early years are so important. Hopefully the nursery check everyone thoroughly and have robust child protection measures in place. If you have specific concerns about a member of staff then speak to a senior member of staff

Posters are saying they don't want a random man to change their child's nappy but are happy for a random woman to do so . You do know that women can abuse children too? So what's the difference?
I have worked with a few male nursery nurses and they were all great and the kids absolutely loved them.
It's really sad to see so much sexism.

@Anovelname Totally agree, I would never want a male midwife either.

That's a great article, thanks for posting - basically outlines the exact same reasons I posted upthread why I think positive male role models are important too

@Chocaloc this is really balanced article!

I think the problem is, if I as a woman went to a doctor and was to be examined I could ask for a chaperone or a female doctor! Young children don't have their own voice at such a young age! Whilst the majority of parents would be fine for a male to change their child's nappy, if one parent isn't happy for this to happen they should be allowed to ask for a female to change their child's nappy! This is not discrimination. Just like it wouldn't be discrimination if I phoned up and requested to have a female doctor!! The OP is allowed to feel the way she feels, she is not being hysterical or discriminating. None of us have factored her past experiences or her child's past experiences into this. There is no discrimination. If anything the main discriminating is against, a woman with concerns being told she shouldn't have them!

Discrimination is the process of making unfair or prejudicial distinctions between people based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are perceived to belong, such as race, gender, age, religion, physical attractiveness or sexual orientation.

@Chocaloc is a woman requesting to be examined by a female doctor discriminating against men? Genuinely interested to hear what you think

Whilst the majority of parents would be fine for a male to change their child's nappy, if one parent isn't happy for this to happen they should be allowed to ask for a female to change their child's nappy! This is not discrimination

That's kind of the very definition of discrimination though. deciding he must be a danger to be kept away from your kid based just on the fact he's a man.

It’s not a woman requesting to be examined.

So you’re saying nobody of the opposite sex should be doing intimate care of children?

Why?

Exactly, that's what the whole thread is about, not wanting children to be looked after by men.

See that I find totally weird. If you need a midwife it's hardly likely no man has ever seen your bits before.

I didn't care when my male gynaecologist examined me either

@mumofoneanddone82 is trying to work out whether you’re against all forms of discrimination (as your posts imply) or whether there are any that you think are acceptable (eg whether you think women should have the right to request female intimate care for themselves).

Which is discrimination and not tolerated in the workplace. How are nurseries and schools
supposed to care for baby boys and boys in foundation if female staff weren’t allowed to do intimate care?

Not interested in that just discrimination in the workplace.

That's not what the thread is about though, even though it's a good question, maybe a different thread should be started for that discussion?
This threads about men shouldn't be caring for children. Which is discrimination.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10505539/amp/Male-midwife-struck-nursing-register-performing-sex-acts-work.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9989159/amp/Male-midwife-39-caught-stash-400-indecent-images-children.html

https://nursingnotes.co.uk/news/nurse-midwife-stuck-off-for-making-and-distributing-indecent-images-of-children/

These are all separate people from a light google. There are fewer than 200 male midwives in the whole of the UK. Not everyone gets caught. I don’t like those odds.

Total overreaction. You cannot treat all men like they are perverts.

I don’t think anyone here is against women providing intimate care for boys. You seem to have completely lost the point that men are the danger here - they are far more likely to be guilty of child sexual abuse than women.

Some forms of discrimination are allowed in the workplace, if considered proportionate and necessary.

You can’t just cry “but it’s discrimination!” like that settles the entire debate.