To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

[Kidulthood2027]

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

😂☠😂

I've had so many over the years. The one who added a QR code! I scanned it as curious and it was a self assessment report. He graded himself on his communication skills, professionalism etc. shame he only gave himself a 3/5 for professionalism.

Then there was the one who meant to include a headshot photo but sent one of an empty table, looked like an Italian restaurant complete with red and white checked tablecloth, candles and vines.

Or the ones that copy and paste the same cover letter and get your name and location wrong as they forgot to update the headings.

Or the ones that tell me about their grade 4 recorder

This isn't true, I recruit loads and it doesn't matter 🤷‍♀️

The 18 year old that wanted to be promoted after 3 months working for the company into a team leader role. And used his time as a boy scout team leader as experience. Frankly I thought it was very creative. We interviewed him to give him the experience of a TL role interview but were quite clear that while we were very impressed by his initiative he really should get good at his current job first before looking to progress.

We had someone apply for a deputy manager position claim to be a strong and masterful leader and he would prove himself to us by cutting out the deadwood within the team.

He had never met any of us at that point. He never did meet any of us either.

One CV had skills: pubic speaking

wanted to invite them to office just to hear it speak!!

Nanny applicant felt that dog walking and animal care “in my country” made him a perfect candidate to work with children.

I love this!! I don’t have a CV as I’ve been in the same job since leaving school 36 years ago. But if I never need one I’m putting that in it 😂

Oh my god so so many. I work in admin in a recruitment agency and I have seen thousands of CVs. Wish I could say more without outing/ breaking data protection but..

The worst grammar and spelling you have ever seen including ‘roll’ for role

Someone saying that running the tuck shop in primary school gave them customer service skills

People including a photo of themselves that is a selfie/ webcam pic

Extreme conversational tone being used aka ‘In my spare time I am a father till 2 amazing kids so I am’ (from Belfast)

I’ve seen so many at this point the funny spelling mistakes I probably just block out, always think it’s baffling how many people put apostrophes in the words A Level’s and GCSE’s

She also had a sub-heading of 'Things I like to do' which read;
'My Dog'.

This has made me lol 😂

A friend - Enjoyed cottaging at weekends - had no idea it meant anything other than staying in cottages.

I was once shortlisting for interview and we had over 100 applications so we shared the sift. By chance, I received two absolutely identical competencies. I don’t know which candidate was the original author, but both were rejected.

I worked for an incredibly posh woman as a temp just after leaving university while I decided what to do and where to go next. She was editor of the professional books section of the publishing house I was at. She had this knack of making me clumsy, stupid and idiotic around her. She terrified me. Anyway, she'd dictated a letter and I was about to take it in to her for signing when, at the last minute, as I was putting it in front of her I realised instead of typing 'I'll head over to see Bryan early and look at it with him' I'd written 'I'll head over to see Bryan early and look a tit with him'.

She would have killed me with her bare hands if she'd ever caught sight of it. 😂I don't think she'd ever said the word 'tit' in her entire life.

If you are reviewing a CV for a colleague or friend, you can add snarky or jokey comments that you definitely wouldn't want to be viewed by an employer. Getting a final version without track changes showing takes a few steps, so a pitfall for the novice Word user.

The candidate with email - dumgurl@gmail

seriously who hires dumb girl?

Fair enough if he was applying to a bakery!

This post needs to come with a warning. I was chomping on a sandwich when I read it and DH thought he was going to have to do the Heimlich on me, I laughed so hard.

So glad she got the job.

I once included a line, years back, about a waitressing job I had in which I made it sound like I was given drinks in exchange for eating customers. Still makes me laugh. Unsurprisingly no one wanted to hire me until I fixed that clanger!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 excellent

I once mispelled count as cunt in my CV :)

Had someone tell me about a very impotent role they played in a project…

He said he'd be happy to proofread a FEW for us, just a FEW. I wonder how many requests there have been.

That's hilarious. I hope you styled it out. Yes, poof-reading. I was the first to detect that Graham Bigglesworth was gay in year 3.

I once had a job typing up CVs and I had one customer who wanted to include on his cv that his sister was a doctor and he drove a BMW. I asked him if he was certain he wanted to include those details. Well! He reminded me I was just a typist and he was not looking for my advice. Fair enough. He had the confident demeanour of a man with a doctor sister and a bmw parked outside.

I received one once that said "I work in a conscious manor"

I pictured a haunted house 🤣