To be disappointed about the book?

[AnnaSewell]

My daughter is in her mid-twenties. For Xmas she bought me a slim paperback book. I thought at the time it was a fairly modest gift but thanked her and put it on one side.

This evening I picked it up to read. I found she had omitted to rub out the pencil price put in at the charity shop. The book had cost £2.49.

I would like to have been worth a tenner.

At least you have a daughter to even get you a book be grateful.
She owes you nothing.
I go to the cemetery to see my daughter most of you on this thread dont have a single fucking clue how lucky you are.
My last gift was a home made card and a second hand cup with a flower on it.
Id eat glass if it brought her home for just one day.
All this crap about showing love you can do that without needing money spent on you.
Thank your lucky stars you still get to see them.

Agree and OP would have to be at the very least 38 when she had her dc anyway to be a boomer.

Sick of the snide digs and sick of these terms being used in a derogatory way.

Considering the state of the environment I think a used book is a perfectly appropriate gift.
You didn't even start reading it until April but you wanted more books that cost more money and made more waste just because reasons?
I'm actually really surprised by how many people think you're being reasonable

Give her the same next birthday/Christmas.

My mum gifts us second hand books- she's very conscious about her environmental footprint. I certainly don't mind- I gifted her some second hand vintage books this year and second hand vintage games last year so I would say this is very normal and ok in our family.

One book (second hand or new) is a bit on the small size as a gift for our families norm, I'd have bought some chocolates as well, but I wouldn't take it too much to heart. It had some thought in it.

To be honest you say your daughter has no debt but you can't possibly KNOW. I had almost £20k on credit cards before I finally told my parents I'd messed up and needed help.

Happens a lot on here doesn't it?! And I am Gen X - so these comments aren't aimed at me - but they still annoy me. The nasty 'boomer' comments always come from a certain type of person too.

@Barleysugar86 ONE second hand book that cost three quid was not the only gift you bought your mother though, so the your situation, and the OP's aren't the same.

I agree that the OP's daughter might be in tons of debt though, and I suggested that earlier in the thread.

I would rather my son spent less on something I like than buying me flowers, scented candles etc. I tell him every year not to spend money on me but he always goes over the top. He spends the money but it’s like he doesn’t know me. I’m not a scented candle or flowers person. He buys me alcohol and chocolates too, I would be happy with just those. Or even a secondhand book that would give me hours of enjoyment.

@SherrieElmer

and you should be ashamed of using the term boomer

Does the value of a gift represent the amount of love that person has for you?

I think, in the absence of any other markers, it's understandable why it might be read that way.

If I got a £2.50 gift from a loved one, would I be upset? No. But that is because I have the great luck to be part of a close and loving family in which I never have cause to doubt their affection for me or the value they place on me, I am told almost daily that I am loved, in words and deeds. So I have the chance to just take gifts as being given in love - regardless of cost. That makes it very easy to thank someone for the gift and get on with my day.

Would I be able to do that in a relationship that already had problems, cracks, doubts and a suspicion of not being loved or valued? No I don't think I would. In that kind of scenatio, I could well imagine being very hurt by the very real possibility that they just don't care about me.

@Noyesnoyes ah...that old trope again. Unless you're knitting lentils & giving each other sackcloth & ashes as presents you must be shallow & bragging about present piles & hauls on insta whilst your marriage is in crises....so dull & unimaginative.

Sorry to disappoint you but you're utterly wrong. I'm not on Instagram or tic tok etc. I've never posted pictures of presents & I'm married a long time to a man who treats me entirely as an equal. As I do him.

But you carry on with your misconceptions....

I'm so sorry time.

OP this isn't how books work. She thought the words inside would bring you pleasure, or mean something to you, who cares about the cover or the cost. It's not like she got you a second hand hankie or bubble bath, she thought about it.
I've done this lots of times when the (second-hand) book seemed right for the person, there was never any malice behind it & I didn't think I was getting a lesser gift.

I'm in my thirties personally, but kindly fuck off.

Yep - if it was a book that she knew I like and thought was put in, who cares if it is second-hand?? YABU

Is a good book?

@AnnaSewell

It's not how much a gift costs to equal
Counts matters,

It's the thought that counts

**This

And the OP clearly thinks there hasn't been much thought

I agree. That won't even buy you a coffee. It's such a shit and cheap gift that she shouldn't have bothered. I'm amazed at how people would 'treasure' a second hand cheap and thoughtless gift.

People who use the term “ Boomer” or “Karen “ or “Gammon” or “ Snowflake “ are usually seriously lacking in imagination and vocabulary.

I hope my son doesn’t ever spend a penny on me, and I relish every pound i spend on him.

i didn’t have him do he could buy me presents. I have my husband for that.

Rude! And probably also incorrect! 😵‍💫

What an arsehole thing to say.
I've been on here for 15 years and I'm giving you my first ever

It’s not about the book at all- This is a red herring.
I’d suspect there are underlying issues between OP and her adult daughter.
The cheap gift has become a symbol of that - a kind of “ Up yours” by the feel of it.

@AnnaSewell actually both my DD's do buy me second hand books as much as new books - most of the books I buy are used anyway - I don't mind at all - in fact I like to think that they think of me when they see a used book shop and/or go into one to spend the time looking for something for me - they always get it right and buy me books about something I'm interested in - one of my DD's bought me a book of haikus while travelling in India - it doesn't even have an ISBN number but it's right up my street.

@SabreIsMyFave - you mean - enjoy hearing about my DD using the Magimix I gave her!? I make do with a £20 hand blender for soups.

No wonder young people today are in constant debt, socially dissfunctional and unable to form permanent relationship, when they grew up with parents who teach them to spend money they don't have on idiotic gifts and that love is measured through money.
Pathetic.