To expect dd to be able to see a female nurse/dr at the sexual health clinic

[Bibpot]

Dd (15) has attended the sexual health clinic a couple of times before-both times she’s seen a nice female dr who put her at ease, talked to her non judgementally, checked safeguarding etc. We made another appt for her to discuss possible changes to pill and have an opportunity for further advice re sexual activity.

Arrived and were both surprised it was a male dr/nurse who called her through (and the first thing he said was can I speak to dd alone-previous dr asked dd if she wanted to be alone or with me) and said she didn’t feel comfortable talking to him. I explained this and he seemed a bit offended. Said there were no females available. Made another appointment and requested a female next time but I’m a bit shocked that it’s not standard practice to at least be told on booking appt that it will be a male.

Im second guessing myself a bit now-as an adult I would be ok talking to a male and I guess he is just as qualified and trained but it didn’t sit right with me that there were no females available for potentially vulnerable teens?

Lucky for you I dont and i disagree its a absurd word. He was known to be a gentleman in his working environment

Who cares !!!!!!!

Why? Surely it relates to his manners and behaviour, being a professional has no influence on those characteristics.

Yabu to think they can magic up a female doctor with zero notice.
You should have said at the time of booking.

You ought to have requested a female, though I can understand why you may think a 15 y/o girl making an appointment might make the person taking the booking think "hmm, better make sure it's with a woman".

I'm an adult, and have no problem with male or female doctors in these circumstances .

Back when I was 15 though, I'd have run for the fucking hills if it were a male - not that I had the kind of mum to happily take me to a sexual health clinic - lucky DD. :)

I hope (and I mean this nicely) that you imagined the doctor/nurse's offense, because he really should know better.

Mumsnet is weird about people having the right to request to see a HCP of a particular sex. I don't know why. In an ideal world it wouldn't matter, but we're not living there, and the reality is people have all sorts of reasons for making this choice and they shouldn't be sneered at about it.

Your daughter is BU to not want to see a male Dr or nurse, but as you've learnt it's best to request it when making the appointment.

Isn't it a massive safeguarding fail for a doctor/nurse of one sex to be alone in a room with an under 18 of the opposite sex? Why wasn't a chaperone offered?

As both a dinner lady and a Scouting volunteer, I was told never to be alone with a young person, for both mine and their protection.

I would have been taken aback by that and as a teen, mortified. It's good that you spoke up for your daughter rather than taken the 'suck it up, princess' approach of some on here.

And it's not just about feeling uncomfortable. You only have to look at the US Gymnastics scandal and the many male doctors struck off to insist on a female doctor for a vulnerable teen who may not feel able to speak up for herself. You protected her. And you'll know next time to ask for a woman. No big deal and no, you're not being unreasonable in the slightest.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair
"Mumsnet is weird about people having the right to request to see a HCP of a particular sex."

Because cool girls like men best.

Wouldn't say that's the case in the south east. Its about 75% female 25% male round here

Well I don’t live in the south east so you aren’t really disproving my point …