To expect dd to be able to see a female nurse/dr at the sexual health clinic

[Bibpot]

Dd (15) has attended the sexual health clinic a couple of times before-both times she’s seen a nice female dr who put her at ease, talked to her non judgementally, checked safeguarding etc. We made another appt for her to discuss possible changes to pill and have an opportunity for further advice re sexual activity.

Arrived and were both surprised it was a male dr/nurse who called her through (and the first thing he said was can I speak to dd alone-previous dr asked dd if she wanted to be alone or with me) and said she didn’t feel comfortable talking to him. I explained this and he seemed a bit offended. Said there were no females available. Made another appointment and requested a female next time but I’m a bit shocked that it’s not standard practice to at least be told on booking appt that it will be a male.

Im second guessing myself a bit now-as an adult I would be ok talking to a male and I guess he is just as qualified and trained but it didn’t sit right with me that there were no females available for potentially vulnerable teens?

Our GP surgery has one male doctor and he's part time as he was meant to retire pre covid but they haven't been able to find a replacement. DH doesn't get the choice of seeing a male doctor, these days he's just pleased to get any appointment.

I suspect a previous poster may have got ignored correct, the doctor was simply annoyed that it was a wasted appointment.

Would you say this for all women? What about Muslim women? What about abused women?
There should be chaperones, even if it’s a receptionist. It’s for the patient and nurse’s protection.

@TinyYellow "YABU and you aren’t doing your dd any favours by teaching her that she can’t be treated by men."

She isn't. She's teaching her dd that it's absolutely fine for her to have a preference and ask for it. Women are allowed to do that, you know.

Given that women have experienced plenty of sexual assault and inappropriate comments from male physicians, yes.

sorry my 1st gynaecologist was a female and she was an out and out bitch. had me in tears a few times and completely dimsimissive of my condition. which was server endometriosis..my second gynaecologist was a man and he was a gentleman always had a nurse when he was examining me and addresses each of my concerns. was a little bit apprehensive when he retired. luckily my next gynaecologist also a male is lovely. my friend has just had a few dealings with him and says he is a gentleman. delighted she got him after also dealing with my bitch of a gynaecologist who i dunno is still allowed practice.
I get why ops daughter wanted to see a female and she is entileted to request that. but my experience of female doctors hasn't been good

You've missed the message. The message being taught is that you can don't have to do anything with a man that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say no 🤦

Sexual health clinics do all kinds of things. What a rude judgemental comment.

What about rape victims? Dv victims? Women who are devoutly religious?

There absolutely should be a female doctor if required.

I work in Sexual Health and it is good practice to see all patients on their own. It is recommended for Safeguarding reasons.

If a patient would prefer to be seen alone they may not feel able to say so in front of the accompanying person.

The patient may not be aware of the personal questions that will be asked.

With young people, and others, they often give more/more accurate information if parent not in the room.

People being abused/trafficked may attend with a 'friend', 'sister' etc who is actually there to check what they're saying. This happened in the Rochdale sexual exploitation situation.

We always give the option for parent/accompanying friend to come in later in consultation.

If the NHS doesn’t have one available at that point then no they can’t have one.

If they feel like they need a female then they need to request one at the point of making the appointment, if they have to wait longer for a female doctor then so be it. That’s on them.

However I don’t think limiting yourself to female only doctors is a good thing, if you need medical attention then you need it.

My gp provides sexual health services as well and there's a sign stating you can request a chaperone, male or female but as there's only one dr in clinic at a time plus a nurse, if you want a different sex tough

@Wexone "my second gynaecologist was a man and he was a gentleman"

What does this mean?

I'm afraid that last comment shows very little understanding of the impact that rape and sexual assault have and the potential trauma they may experience by having a male doctor.

treated me with respect and kindness unlike the female bitch I had before

@Wexone I think the word you were looking for is "professional".

Do you have an issue to that fact i felt he was also a gentleman - i probably because he was an older generation and honestly i was so bloody delighted to have someone acknowledge my pain after dealing with the female bitch and to add to your words UNPROEFSSIONAL! I would expect professional but he actually went above and beyond

She is entitled to want to see a female doctor if she wants to. Enough of all this nonsense about men being as well qualified etc. That is not the issue.

They spend loads of money on accessibility for masses of other languages and interpreters. Let a female have a female doctor!

Where I am (not nhs) the chaperone is automatic and is there as much for the male staff member as for the patient.

Yanbu, for an under 18 surely it should be standard to have a female practitioner for female patients.

An adult can consent to a male practitioner but it seems just common sense not to allow adult males to discuss sex or do examinations with female children.
Most would hopefully be fine but statistically some won't be and allowing access to children in that way is likely to attract more predators.

She absolutely should be able to see a female doctor, but like you've now realised, it does need to be requested. If an exam was being performed, she should have been offered the opportunity for a chaperone (I always have, even when seeing a female provider), but I can see that may not be the case if it's just a conversation about birth control with no exam.

I work in sexual health though and the service is so, so pressured. It's very hard just to even get a face-to-face appointment and especially for something like birth control, which can be discussed over the phone or could (probably should!) be handled by a GP. It doesn't mean that the clinic doesn't want to respect your wishes and provide the best service. It's just that they have so many people who need those appointments for quite serious needs and staff are very stretched as a lot of SHS has been de-funded in recent commissioning changes.

This is really nothing to do with sex/gender (which people seem to love to make it about 🙄). It is purely the desperate issues with staffing facing sexual health, but all primary care services in the current NHS.

@Wexone Yes I do have a problem with "gentleman". It's an absurd word to use about a professional.

And "gentleman" is not the opposite of "bitch".

Our GP surgery has a sign where you let them know you're there saying if you want a chaperone let the receptionist know. That's in a surgery without male gp's ( well one part time penshioner).