About unruly teens and that mum at theatre

[DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog]

Name changed for this.

i took my DC and a friend to the theatre. The play is specifically geared for GCSE students, so basically everyone in the audience is 15/16, and every group must be accompanied by a parent.

The seat next to mine was empty. The next seat, and seats after that, had a group of teens that showed up with buckets of popcorn, pinched each other, playfought, talked and loudly munched non stop.

After 45 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over the empty seat, gave the boy nearest to me a sharp tap on the shoulder (he was six feet tall so I’m guessing 16), and told him “Can you please stop talking? It’s really annoying”.

During the break, the mother came over to talk to me. I assumed she wanted to apologise. Wrong! She accused me of hitting her child, demanded I apologise, and said it was assault and if I ever did it again she would report me to the police. I said I did not hit her child, I tapped him on the shoulder, and she should have prevented her party from disrupting the performance long before I did so. I also told her it should be her boys apologising to me and others around us for ruining their evening. She kept repeating herself, so after a while, I said I thought the conversation was over.

Other parents also intervened: one dad said the boys hadn’t bothered him, and three other parents told the mother to drop it, that her children were very rude and that even if I hit the boy (I didn’t), that was justified by their behaviour and they would have done the same.

WIBU to tell the boy off? I don’t think I was. I think it’s possible my tap was sharper than I had wished, because he was leaning over the other side to chat to his friends, and I had to lean over the empty seat so it was a bit awkward. But I am 100% sure I did not hurt him, though I think I startled him. If I want to be charitable I would say the mum felt chastised about her parenting so she lashed out at me, and will give her head a wobble later. But as a regular theatre goer, I think I taught the boy a valuable life lesson.

AIBU?

In case this matters, I’ve never hit my DCs and I don’t agree with physical punishment or violence.

People seem to have forgotten how to behave in public. You were in the right.

And this is why this country is screwed. If, at any age let alone 16, I had disturbed another person at the theatre by messing about, my mother would have read me the riot act, got me to apologise and basically given me hell

You were not wrong

You were right to tell him to 'stop talking'' but you do realise you should never touch people. What if someone just sharply touched you on the shoulder to tell you off???

How would you have felt if he'd turned around and given you a 'sharp tap' back?

But as a regular theatre goer, I think I taught the boy a valuable life lesson.

I doubt it.

He probably updated his SM to tell everyone about the crazy woman who hit him on the shoulder.

Did you happen to notice if him or his friends managed to get a photo of you?

You were exasperated and you tapped him to get his attention. It's fine.

At the cinema this weekend and a couple on my left chatted incessantly throughout the movie, we're on their phone, kissing, laughing....I was like WTF? And why on earth have you bothered to come out to 'watch' a film? Absolutely ridiculous.

However, every time I thought about saying something, I realised I couldn't be bothered with any backlash and judging by their lack of basic manners, I kept quiet. My own DC (similar aged to these delights) would have been very embarrassed as well.

Good on you for saying something. I don't know what the answer is but is it impossible to sit quietly for a performance for some people?!!

You werent wrong to tell him off but I wouldn’t have tapped a random kid. Mainly because of mothers like his.

Ffs. Responses are such nonsense. Have we really got to a place in society whereby we cannot tap a shoulder? Sharply or otherwise? They were insufferably rude and ignorant and of course the only way to gain their attention was to touch a stranger. The alternative is to be louder than them in attracting their attention which would be wrong in the setting of a theatre. Op is respecting the audience and the players in resorting to a tap and hushed tone to bring ill behaviour into order. Op, imo you were justified. 16yos should know how to behave in a theatre.

@FuzzyWuzzyWuzABear why would he have done that? I did it to get his attention. He didn’t need to get mine.

You were totally in the right but in touching him you opened yourself up to what happened so would avoid doing that in future however justified

Not nonsense really, who wants to be physically touched by a complete stranger, especially when they described it as sharp??? All she had to do was tell them to be quiet, she didn't need to resort to physically and in her own words, 'sharply' touching them.

This.

Of course YWNBU
Unbelievable that anyone is suggesting otherwise.

Appalling that you had to say anything in the first place, let alone that the parent - who should have intervened the first time they spoke during the performance - then had a go at you.
Some people are unbelievable.

Why would he do what?

Tap you sharply back?

I think a lot of people might retaliate in that way, especially him from the sound of it.

I reckon you’re right - isn’t it fascinating how different perceptions can be.

I didn’t notice anyone taking photos or filming. I imagine the teens were dying of shame while the mum was having a go at me and involving everyone else in the audience.

Touching someone is not the same as assaulting them - while that boy might not want to be touched oh horror of horrors by a total stranger, the best way to avoid this is to stfu and not disrupt the play for everyone else!

The mother should have been dealing with her kid, then OP wouldn't have had to!

Something similar happened to my family recently, it was at a secondary school show. During the intermission the noisy and annoying 17/18 year olds in the row behind us headed off but left their sweets behind, so I ate them! I think they were too stunned (or may be thought I was crazy) to argue when they asked who had taken them and I loudly said, “me, me, they’re my favourites, you don’t mind do you?”. Didn’t hear a squeak out of them in the second half.

Oh ffs. Tapping people on the shoulder to get their attention is completely normal behaviour.

It's not like she poked him with her umbrella like a PG Wodehouse Aunt (although I'm not completely against the idea of rowdy theatre goers getting poked with umbrellas).

Thank you everyone for putting my mind at rest! I understand some people disagree, and valid points have been raised, but it is comforting that many of you don’t think I’m a crazy harridan 😁.

And tapping them sharply on the shoulder is not the same as touching them?

Even the OP said it might've been harder than she intended.

But I agree, they should've STFU and let everyone enjoy the performance.

Op well done.... I would have done exactly the same!!!! I asked a group of teenagers to stop swearing when my sons were little..... they started again and I gave them the death stare 🫣 it went quiet after that!!🤣

If he was busy chatting and looking away it sounds like tapping him is the only way you could have got his attention without making a noise and disrupting things even more.

The state of some of these responses.

She tapped him on the shoulder. She didn’t punch him, or slap him, or kick him. It’s a perfectly normal way of getting someone’s attention.

If I’d behaved like that in a theatre, to the point someone had to ask me to stop, my mother would’ve bollocked me from noon to breakfast, and apologised to the people I disturbed.

😂😂 some of these responses are hilarious. Pokey poke poke poke.

yeah... unfortunately in this day an age, you cannot lay a finger on anyone, and especially not a child!

we live in a mad world.. im not saying you should be able to beat the living shit out of people, but a gentle tap or tug of the sleeve should be ok, alas, it depends on the parents