About unruly teens and that mum at theatre

[DougJudysSisterTrudiesDog]

Name changed for this.

i took my DC and a friend to the theatre. The play is specifically geared for GCSE students, so basically everyone in the audience is 15/16, and every group must be accompanied by a parent.

The seat next to mine was empty. The next seat, and seats after that, had a group of teens that showed up with buckets of popcorn, pinched each other, playfought, talked and loudly munched non stop.

After 45 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over the empty seat, gave the boy nearest to me a sharp tap on the shoulder (he was six feet tall so I’m guessing 16), and told him “Can you please stop talking? It’s really annoying”.

During the break, the mother came over to talk to me. I assumed she wanted to apologise. Wrong! She accused me of hitting her child, demanded I apologise, and said it was assault and if I ever did it again she would report me to the police. I said I did not hit her child, I tapped him on the shoulder, and she should have prevented her party from disrupting the performance long before I did so. I also told her it should be her boys apologising to me and others around us for ruining their evening. She kept repeating herself, so after a while, I said I thought the conversation was over.

Other parents also intervened: one dad said the boys hadn’t bothered him, and three other parents told the mother to drop it, that her children were very rude and that even if I hit the boy (I didn’t), that was justified by their behaviour and they would have done the same.

WIBU to tell the boy off? I don’t think I was. I think it’s possible my tap was sharper than I had wished, because he was leaning over the other side to chat to his friends, and I had to lean over the empty seat so it was a bit awkward. But I am 100% sure I did not hurt him, though I think I startled him. If I want to be charitable I would say the mum felt chastised about her parenting so she lashed out at me, and will give her head a wobble later. But as a regular theatre goer, I think I taught the boy a valuable life lesson.

AIBU?

In case this matters, I’ve never hit my DCs and I don’t agree with physical punishment or violence.

The ones who think you were out of line for daring to touch him or say anything to him are the ones out in public with the unruly brats

You did the right thing. with the mother getting so aggressive, I probably would have called the police on her.

It makes me smile to know that obnoxious kids will get karma one day when they annoy the wrong person and they get punched for real.

I don't have unruly brats. It isn't acceptable to touch other people. By all means complain to the person or ask staff to assist but keep your hands to yourself.

It is never accepted to touch anyone, for those at the back claiming it is, the law says differently.

I absolutely don't blame you, but it was inevitable that the DM, was going to be "that mother", when she was letting her DC act like that

Hopefully, she'll now think twice, but I don't it. 🤷‍♀️

What law prevents people from tapping others to attract their attention?

Did they shut up?

I wouldn't have approached the teens directly. I would have gone outside and asked the theatre staff to deal with it.
Same in the cinema.

Lol the boy and his mum are full of shit.

If either of them genuinely believed there was an ‘assault’ they would/should have raised it as an issue IMMEDIATELY. If someone assaults you, you don’t wait 30 mins then approach them and be like ‘you assaulted me’.

Yes they did - after I asked the boy to stop talking, there wasn’t a peep coming from them for the rest of the play.

You were absolutely right to have a word!.I suspect the mother was embarrassed by her children's behaviour hence the ridiculous comments she made trying to deflect from the actual issue.

Behaviour in theatres is awful now, I went last week and they actually asked the audience not to sing during the show, they shouldn't have to do that but i guess that's a sign of the times.

I had a mother in front of me with two teenagers (tourists) she stood up and shouted at her kids before the show started and then proceeded to keep leaning over and talking to them (I assume explaining the plot) and blocking our view during the show. We were all getting fed up of it but didn't say anything as you don't know how people will react these days

she was so wrong
how on earth is her dc going to learn manners with this type of mothers

Don't theatre/cinema have ushers anymore sitting at the back?

I remember taking my dd to watch the lion king at cinema when she was 4 and getting told off by an usher as she was getting too loud, she shouted out no when the horrible brother lion was being mean!

Another time I was turning the sound off my mobile phone and was approached again by an usher and asked to stop looking at my phone! I was simply turning the sound off!

How times have changed.

In the interests of balance we went to an avant garde Shakespeare which is a gcse text and it was packed with teenagers. Hundreds of them with about 2 teachers.

Beautifully behaved. Not a peep. Except it was quite ridiculous and there were teething problems with one scene that was unintentionally funny and they laughed as did Dh and I.

The response of the mother shows that the unparented are now parents themselves. And so it passes on down the line.
People don’t know how to behave and YANBU

I HATE people who are noisy in the theatre. But if you'd tapped me on the shoulder I'd have punched you in the face, without a doubt.

I would have been one of the parents supporting you. I can't believe the mother hadn't intervened herself.

Oh God help us!

Ffs. Responses are such nonsense. Have we really got to a place in society whereby we cannot tap a shoulder?

Yes we have.

Well if someone done that to me i wouldn't have a meltdown or scream i had been assaulted. No wonder of country is a joke. When some stupid woman defends her 16 year olds bratty behaviour you know society is a mess.

"He/She applies force, causing an impact on the body of another person." Poking someone would constitute this.

From the Irish Garda website. You are welcome

And as my old law professor used to say, putting someone in fear of assault is assault.

Anyone laying a hand on my children would be in serious trouble and I mean any and all legal options available to me.

It is not okay to touch another human being without their consent. Seriously we teach toddlers to keep their hands to themselves and use their words!

She didn't poke him, she tapped him on the shoulder

It's threads like these that genuinely make me glad I'm the age I am. And actually wish I was older and closer to not being here anymore. The thought of the way the world will be in 30 years is terrifying. When we can't even tap someone on the shoulder without being threatened with being punched or being arrested.

If a16 year old lad can't cope with a tap on the shoulder and a telling off without running to his mum, I despair.

I couldn’t agree more!

@Flocke I’m 70+ and know exactly what you mean.

Marblessolveeverything It's never acceptable to touch anyone ? does that include if your child is just about to step in front of a car, surely you would want someone to pull them back or should they just be allowed to be run over ?

@Pastryface so you have never met a traumatised child, a sensory processing challenged child, ND. Can grown adults not keep their hands to themselves?